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What’s worse, I wasn’t sure which notion freaked me out more: realizing how much she meant to me, or realizing I was losing her.
She waited a beat, and then ordered, “Okay, then. Try exhaling.”
But I couldn’t. There was nothing to breathe out. Just like, after tomorrow, there would be no Bailey in my life. I swung my head back and forth, gasping for air, my chest collapsing.
“Beckett,” she whispered sternly. She sounded panicked and concerned. I wanted to tell her I was okay. Except I wasn’t.
I clamped my fingers around her wrists where she was still cupping my face, wanting to hold onto her if this was it…if I was dying.
She shook my cheeks. “Dammit, Beck. I said breathe.”
I floundered. I couldn’t do it. I had no idea what was wrong, but it felt as if there was no air anywhere. She was leaving, and my life was over.
Hissing a curse, Bailey leaned down and pressed her mouth to mine. It was hard to tell if she was attempting to preform CPR, or what, but she didn’t blow into my mouth; she just…she kissed me.
Holy shit. Her soft, pillowy, sweet lips flattened against mine, and my nostrils flared before my lungs opened, and I inhaled. Deeply.
I drew her essence into me, parting my lips and moving my fingers from her wrists so I could bury them in the satiny softness of her hair. Urging her chin up, I aligned our faces in order to taste her fully.
My mouth slanted, our tongues touched, and my body pinged with need, shooting little electrical currents out every nerve ending.
Her mint toothpaste and flowery lotion flooded my senses. I wanted more. So I rolled her onto her back and climbed on top of her, fitting myself between her thighs before I kissed her again, spiking my tongue deep and fisting her hair in my hands as I thrust my hips hard against that sweet nook between her legs.
“Oh, my God,” she gasped, arching her head back so she could suck in air as she wound her legs around my waist and ground her core tighter against the straining erection in my pants.
She was so warm there; I wanted in. The need in me was strong, and I took greedily, racing my hands over her, urgent to feel every soft curve as I bit and licked my way down her throat.
She was receptive to me. So receptive. The heels of her feet dug into the top of my ass as her fingernails gouged through my shirt and bit straight into the backs of my shoulders. I latched my teeth around her collarbone and clutched her bottom, tilting her up as I rubbed myself back and forth against her, mimicking the act of entering her.
She whimpered hungry sounds that came straight from her throat, urging me on. I found the hem of her nightshirt and smoothed my hand up her thigh until I reached the back part of her panties. Her breasts pushed against my chest and her shallow pants drifted across in my ear right before she bit the lobe, making me groan. My fingers slipped inside her underwear.
She was wet. Holy shit, she was so warm and wet, and my fingers already knew how easily they could thrust inside her.
Except she jerked under me, going rigid and pressing her hands against my chest. “No. Wait.”
Her rejection was so profound I almost wept. Frozen on top of her, I didn’t immediately move. It took me a second to comply, my digits right there at her entrance, so close to sliding into Heaven.
“Beckett,” she whispered, still applying pressure to my chest. “Stop.”
I hung my head, blowing out a steadying breath, then I rolled off her to lie flat on my back, needing to cool off before I could even process thought again.
Her breathing was still labored, she was definitely still as turned on as I was. I wanted to roll back to her and try to coax more from her. I knew I could do it. I knew I could tempt her into continuing. I could make her scream and beg for more, for all of it. But I gulped and fisted my hands at my sides. My body howled in denial, unable to accept the fact it wasn’t going to get what it wanted.
I realized I’d never stopped when I’d been this turned on before.
Hell, I’d never been this turned on before.
“This was wrong,” Bailey finally said, turning her face my way. “It was all wrong.”
I had no idea what to say to that. I wanted to argue; it had felt pretty damn right to me. It’d felt more right than anything with any girl I’d ever kissed before. How could she fucking say it was wrong? How could she not feel what I’d been feeling?
That was the biggest blow to take, realizing she hadn’t felt it too.
But if she hadn’t, then she hadn’t, and it killed me to respect her wishes.
I blew out a breath, ignoring the buzzing of need still roaring through me. I said nothing, just rolled out of bed, and started for the door. I couldn’t even apologize for kissing her, because I wasn’t fucking sorry. That’d been the best kiss of my life.
She said my name, but I kept going until I reached the door. Once there, I paused and pressed my forehead and one hand against the wood, not wanting to leave with her thinking I was mad or disappointed, not wanting our last night together to end with this kind of discord.
