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When he started away again, I lifted my voice and hurried after him. “Yes, now. Right now. I’ll just keep following you if you don’t stop.” No way was I going to let him suffer without even trying to help him first.
This time, when he plowed to a stop, he finally turned around to face me, but the violence and rage in his gaze made me gasp and lurch a step back.
“Yes, my lady?” he gritted out from between clenched teeth.
I blinked, taken aback. Until it hit me.
“You’re mad at me,” I gasped in realization. Then I shook my head, because I couldn’t for the life of me deduce what I could’ve done to upset him so thoroughly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered evasively, sliding his gaze guiltily away as he tried to turn his back to me again, but I grabbed his arm.
He recoiled as if I’d just slapped him.
Jerking roughly out of my hold, he flashed his teeth, snarling, “Don’t touch me.”
I shied back, curling my hand against my chest. A second later, regret flared in his gaze.
He appeared miserable as he looked everywhere but at me. “Now isn’t a good time,” he rasped as if the words scraped his throat raw to even say.
“But Caulder sent me to find out what’s wrong with you. You’ve injured so many soldiers today they’re afraid you might kill someone.”
“Well, you can tell the almighty king he can just go fuck himself and mind his own damn business. I’m fine. And I can’t rightly hurt anyone else on the training field since he’s ordered me off it, anyway, now can I?”
“Oh, Urban.” When I whispered his name, he seemed to crumble, bowing his head and turning away slightly before squeezing his eyes closed.
I reached out again, unable to help myself, and this time, when my fingers barely grazed his arm, he shuddered as if my touch physically hurt him.
It broke my heart.
I glanced back toward the guard who was watching us with wide eyes. When his gaze met mine, he nodded and turned away, hurrying away to give us privacy. Taking Urban’s hand, I led him down the hall toward the smaller, more private Red Chambers, where I shut the door behind us. He stepped away from me, keeping his back to me as he ran both hands through his hair.
“Please talk to me,” I begged, clasping my hands helplessly at my waist. “And not because the king ordered it, but because I’m worried about you.” I couldn’t handle seeing him so upset. “Something is troubling you terribly. Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”
“Help?” he choked out miserably. He spun toward me, revealing an agony that shimmered like a thousand knives tearing at his soul. Then he glanced away before announcing in a broken voice, “Can you help what you caused?”
I shook my head, confused and worried. My mind spun, trying to remember what I’d done wrong. I barely remembered the night before, but the vague images I recalled were pleasant and lovely of Urban in the dark with the most mesmerizing colored shapes reflecting off his face.
Or had Soren seen me touch him? Had my husband punished him for my actions?
“What did I cause?” I whispered in sudden fear.
“You…” When he focused on my face and took in my worry, he muttered a curse under his breath and turned away again. “It’s not exactly what you caused, but what you did, and it wasn’t like you did anything wrong, anyway, so just forget it. Okay?”
“Forget it?” After repeating the words slowly, I shook my head and spilled out an incredulous laugh. “I think not. If I hurt you, I want to know what I—”
“Can we please just drop it?” he snapped, his rigid back becoming a wall that blocked me out completely.
“No,” I said. “Absolutely not. Not when you’re this upset.”
“Well, that’s not your concern.”
“Except you just said it was! If I caused this by doing something to—”
“Jesus Christ! You came for him. Okay?” Whirling around to scowl moodily, he stepped closer and hissed, “You came for him. And that is why I’m out of my mind with…with…” Unable to come up with the proper word he wanted to use to express his pain, he just stood there and sputtered, miserable and mad, all rolled into a helpless kind of bleak frustration.
“I…” I blinked, not understanding at all. Finally, I shook my head. “I what?”
Muttering an oath, he turned away and whipped a hand through his hair. “I was so sure I was handling this, that I could deal with belonging to a woman who belonged to another. I could never physically touch you, and I hated that, but we still had our dreams and you... You let me befriend you. It was enough. It would’ve been enough until my dying breath, because I could handle not having you as long as I didn’t see him have you either. And I never did. You two might sit beside each other at meals and exchange friendly-enough dialogue, but I never saw you touch or kiss, or hell, even be remotely affectionate with each other. I could pretend he never bedded you. I could... Dammit.” He squeezed his eyes closed and clenched his teeth as he shook his head savagely. “But last night, when I felt your orgasm shriek through my mark...”
