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Rattled by the realization, I shook my head and turned away in a daze. When I started away, he murmured, “Vienne.”
I turned back. He looked vaguely worried, so I said, “Yes?”
More agony swirled in his gaze. “What do we do when he does visit your room? It’s going to happen. Someday. He wants a son, doesn’t he? A male Donnelly-mixed-with-Mandalay blood. He’s going to demand his husbandly right to be with you, and I’m going to feel it. But I can’t—”
“Shh,” I murmured, moving back to press my fingers against his lips. “Trust me, if he ever visits me again and forces me to lay with him, you won’t feel an orgasm. He’s never given me one in the past; I don’t foresee him doing so in the future.”
Urban huffed out a breath against my fingertips, his gaze full of misery. As I lowered my hand, he grumbled, “That bad at it, is he? Well, fuck, I don’t like that answer either. If he gets to taste what I could only dream about, he should damn well appreciate the gift he’s been given and treat you like the goddess you are. He should never find his own release until he’s given you at least three.”
I blurted out a laugh. “Three?”
“No, you’re right,” he agreed, a grin blooming across his face. “Four orgasms, then. Possibly even five.”
My laughter rang out louder as I threw my head back, letting it run wild. “You’re crazy.”
With a groan, Urban loomed closer, his gaze hot and afflicted. “God, Vienne,” he choked out. “Stop laughing like that. It makes me want to kiss the hell out of you.”
I took an immediate step back and shook my head. “You promised not to say such things to me.”
“Did I? I can’t imagine why I’d ever make such an absurd oath. But alright then, if you insist.” He stepped backward, away from me, but the heat in his gaze remained.
From the longing on his face, I wondered if he was going to break his promise and step back toward me, seduce me right then and there. If he did, I wasn’t sure if I’d stop him. My will was too weak. I wanted him. I loved him. The need to be with him was an itch in my blood and an ache in my soul. I wanted to touch him more than I wanted breath in my lungs. And I swear, the only thing keeping us apart in this moment was his unending respect for my wishes.
I was about to throw myself at him when his chest heaved and he nodded. “You’re right. But before I go back to behaving, I just need to say this.” He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “The next time you pleasure yourself, I’ll be there. Maybe not physically, but I will feel every stroke and caress as if it were my hands on you instead of your own. And when you come, I will too. I’ll finish myself at the same time so our orgasms match. You’ll never have to experience it alone again. I’ll be with you. Somewhere.”
Tears sparkled in my gaze. “Thank you,” I choked out. Then, unable to bear the breadth of the feelings surging through me, I turned away and dashed from the Red Chambers.
I hurried up the steps that led to my room because I needed to cuddle with Anniston now more than ever, but when I turned down my wing, I almost ran smack into Soren and had to stumble to a gasping halt to avoid a collision.
“Hey,” he said, pointing at me. “There you are. I was wondering if you could track the High Cliff bastard down and calm his ruffled feathers. Something’s got him in a snit today, and someone will get hurt if he doesn’t calm himself.”
Glancing away, I wiped at my damp cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ve already taken care of it. He’s fine now.”
“Oh, did you?” Soren lifted his eyebrows, interested in this bit of news. “You didn’t fuck him, did you?”
I lifted a single eyebrow, holding my anger in check. It would serve him right if I said yes, that I had slept with Urban. It would serve him right if I kicked him in the nuts for acting jealous and suspicious after I’d just done exactly what he’d asked me to do.
Hell, it would serve him right if I was simply honest and upfront with him.
Lifting my chin, I spoke my truth. “Unfortunately, no. I didn’t get that pleasure. Because I actually take my wedding vows seriously. Unlike you.” Stepping past him, I continued down the hall without another word, smug power cloaking me as my idiot husband gaped after me with his jaw hanging loose.
Chapter 31
Vienne
The next day was another lovely day in the kingdom. Though it never grew as hot around the castle or down in the village as it did in the res
t of the Vast Desert, this morning was crisper and cooler than usual, enough so to require a shawl and an extra blanket for Anniston when we left my room.
Feeling restless and in need of a walk, I bundled her close and started down toward the garden, only to come across Brentley and Allera out and about among the flowers, laughing and talking by a row of bushes where Brentley was slipping a daffodil behind Allera’s ear.
I turned to leave them in peace, but Allera caught my eye and smiled. “Morning, Vienne. Lovely day, isn’t it?”
Pausing, I nodded and sent her a return grin, even though a nip of jealousy tugged at my heart. If only my own arranged marriage had worked out as successfully as hers seemed to be.
Although, actually, no, that wasn’t what I wished at all. If I wanted to be perfectly honest with myself, my thoughts veered more cruelly toward something more like, if only I’d never had to marry Soren in the first place.
But what use were thoughts like that? He was my husband and unless I wanted to risk Urban’s life, lose my daughter, and change the entire dynamic of the kingdom, giving up my role in helping it—which I did not—that wasn’t going to change. So I needed to make due the best I could.
