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“Don’t force me to hit you, Urban. I’m already nervous enough as it is. You’re supposed to be making things easier for me, not harder.”
Damn.
Instantly contrite, I let go of her waist and took a step back. I really was adding to her anxieties instead of combating them, wasn’t I? When I bowed out my submission, Allera huffed through her annoyance, picked up her skirts and stomped past me, where her lady’s maids were gathered to assist her.
Cursing myself, I turned away and headed in the opposite direction to find a spot alone where I could clear my head and hopefully pull it from my ass.
When I found a large, sturdy rock a good distance from everyone else, I plunked myself down, rested my elbows on my knees, and I bowed my face shamefully. The sun lashed its scorching heat against the back of my neck in punishment. I let it do its worst, heating my skin unnaturally, as I tried to forget the fact I was probably never going to see my homeland again, that I was about to enter a foreign kingdom and somehow settle there for the rest of my life, that nothing was ever going to be the same as it had been. And I was supposed to be the leader of my merry little band of riders, which meant I had to act as if none of this was any kind of big deal.
Right. I was so going to fail.
But at least Allera was with me. Nothing could feel quite so hopeless with her near. I’d never confess to her how much she meant to me, but honestly, she was like my mother, sister, and best friend all rolled into one annoying but devoted woman. All this muck was worth it to remain near her.
When I blew out a breath and stood, a good twenty minutes had probably passed. But at least I felt calmer and ready to tackle the issues at hand, which was to get my people through this desert and reach Donnelly’s castle already.
I returned to the caravan, whistling under my breath, only to find the horses had drunk their fill, everyone was ready to move again, and Allera had decked herself in a new, dust-free emerald gown.
The rubies around her throat and encrusted into her tiara glittered in the full sunlight, and her face looked powdered and fresh, as if she’d actually had time to bathe.
I met her at the entrance of her carriage to help her back inside. As she glided closer, I straightened my spine, ready to apologize for my earlier behavior.
But she didn’t give me the chance. Smiling most graciously as if she didn’t have a care in the world, she offered me her ring-clad fingers so I could help her up. “Ride with me the rest of the way, would you, dear brother?”
My pleasant expression withered like all the cacti surrounding us.
Good God. She didn’t want me to apologize; she wanted me to suffer, because honestly, what could be worse than getting inside that deathtrap of a carriage? It had to be twenty degrees hotter in such a stale, cooped-up box than out here with rare gusts of wind to occasionally cool us.
But I couldn’t deny Allera anything, especially after how I’d just treated her, so I nodded mutely, called to an outrider to take care of my horse, and followed her up the steps.
Her skirt brushed my knees as soon as I sat, instantly making me claustrophobic. Grumbling, I opened the curtains wider on both sides to let a breeze through, but it didn’t help. I felt trapped and smothered by both the heat and our doomed situation. How Allera was handling it so regally I’d never understand. She’d always had an inner strength that awed the piss out of me.
“When we get there,” she murmured quietly after the wheels began to roll as if she didn’t want anyone to hear her chastising her younger brother.
I lifted a hand to quiet her. “Don’t worry. I got it. This is a big fucking deal. I won’t do anything to embarrass you or High Cliff. And I’ll keep my smart-ass mouth shut.”
That’s what Father had ordered of me before we’d left home, anyway. This is a big fucking deal, Urban, he’d said. Don’t do anything to embarrass your sister or High Cliff. In fact, just keep your damn, mother-killing smart-ass mouth shut.
Allera sighed and sent me a sad look. “I know you’ll behave. I was just going to say, I realize you don’t want to like this place or these people, but please, at least try to have an open mind when we arrive. It’s going to be our home from now on, and we will become one of them. Fighting the inevitable adjustment will only hurt you more. And I can’t have you miserable because I… Well, I need you too much right now. Your support might be the only thing holding me together to help me get through. So, please, just—”
“Allera.” I leaned forward and set my hand over hers. When she looked up, her eyes swirled with all the worry she was attempting to contain. I nodded gravely, moved by her words. “I won’t let you down. I swear it.”
Her shoulders eased with relief and her eyes glistened with tears as she smiled. “I’m so glad you’re the one who came with me,” she admitted, with an intensity that made the strings around my own heart tighten. “I don’t think I would be able to manage this with anyone else at my side.
”
“It is my honor,” I vowed.
Feeling the stirring of my own emotions, I glanced away, attempting to subdue them, only to spot something out the window coming into view as we crested a slope. Eyebrows lifting with surprise, I sat forward and murmured, “God… Damn.”
“What?” Allera whirled to see what had caught my attention. Gasping, she pressed her hand to her heaving chest. “Oh my. Oh my goodness. Urban, it’s so…”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
The view was definitely something worth ogling. Frankly, it was almost too grand to be real. I blinked, making sure it wasn’t some kind of mirage. But it only seemed to grow larger and more opulent with every sweep of my lashes.
The first thing I noticed were the trees, a bounty of full, non-desert-like foliage bushed out with the greenest leaves… Right in the middle of the fucking sand. They were so thick and numerous, they nearly hid the white stone walls surrounding the palace. How they were able to grow here, I didn’t know, but I almost wept with relief at the sight of them after seeing nothing but dead plants and brown sand for nearly a week.
Then there was the palace itself, because holy shit, the palace... It was called the Iron Castle due to the fact they’d plated the outside stones with sheets of pure iron. Despite how dry the land was, Donnelly was definitely one rich kingdom to afford a castle like this. It was easily three times larger than ours at home, suffused with at least two dozen towers and a keep in the center that rose above everything else. The moat surrounding it was twice as wide as any I’d ever seen before. And the drawbridge that began to lower as we approached looked as if it could flatten our entire caravan with one swipe.
