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I turned to Farrow, my heart tearing with torment. I knew I couldn’t trust him. And yet…
His eyes swirled with emotion as he watched me decide what to do with him.
“I’m still very, very upset with you for deceiving me,” I needed him to know. “And I still haven’t yet forgiven you for all your lies and lack of trust,” I explained.
It was on the tip of my tongue to add a but, except Farrow drew himself upright and placed a fisted hand against his heart. “You’ve saved me from death more than once. I owe you a life debt in return. Meaning...” Bowing his head, he declared, “I go where you go.”
“But,” I finally added, only to scowl at the top of his head as he continued to bow. Annoyed, I muttered, “Hey, excuse me. I don’t want your obligation.”
He lifted his chin, his eyes probing. “Then you have my devotion. I go where you go.”
Growing even more irritated because he still didn’t understand, I merely sniffed.
He winced, his eyes filling with shame and regret. But he kept staring at me, letting me see all his remorse. No longer blocking his feelings, he let me experience the misery within him.
“I have nothing left,” he rasped. “No father I misguidedly want to impress. No sister to protect. No mother. Nothing.” He seemed to wilt before me. “You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to accept me. You don’t even have to acknowledge my presence. But from this moment forward, I go where you go. I am your servant, my lady. Always.”
When he knelt before me in a show of respect, bowing his head and showing the ultimate sign of submission and servitude, a twinge of disappointment pinged through my chest.
Because I didn’t want him to be a servant. A follower. A damn slave. I wanted a life partner, someone I could trust and confide in and lean on, someone I could love and touch and accept.
Why did he not seem to get that?
Snorting bitterly in order to hide my discontent, I sent him a hard glare and muttered, “You still haven’t figured it out yet, but whatever.”
I turned away, letting him follow if he so desired but not outright granting him approval to do so. Setting my attention on Indigo, I nodded. “Lead the way, Moast.”
He’d been watching Farrow steadily. But at my comment, he met my gaze and respectfully inclined his head. Since we had no possessions left to gather, we started off at once, Indy sticking by my side and Farrow trailing a ways behind.
I could feel him back there, watching me. My body heated with—with—something. Shame, maybe. How could I let him follow like a lowly no one when he was my true love? It felt unnatural. But then I wanted to curl into a ball and cry whenever I thought of how much faith and love I’d put into wooing him, only to have it all shoved back in my face with lies.
He’d hurt me.
I hated how I’d so openly and impulsively given him all the power to destroy me like that. I felt like a fool and an idiot. I wasn’t sure if I could ever soften toward him again. If I could ever truly soften like that for anyone.
So, I just continued marching steadily forward through the trees beside Indy, stewing over the contradictory feelings stirring through me.
Next to me, Indigo was unnaturally silent. Casting a look behind us to check on Farrow, he discreetly cleared his throat and folded his arms over his chest before he quietly announced, “As far as humble, I-royally-fucked-up speeches go, his wasn’t a bad one.”
I shot him a harsh glance. “Are you kidding me right now?”
He blinked innocently. “What?”
“He has absolutely no clue whatsoever about love and trust or anything to do with his own freaking soul mate. The idiot thinks I still hate him and planned on leaving him forever in those woods. And now he wants to be my freaking servant, not my equal. I mean, what the hell?”
“Well, you did chain him—”
“And, okay, yes,” I rattled on, ignoring him. “I am mad at him, and I plan to stay mad for quite a while, but all couples have tiffs. Disagreements. Yet, he believes I want nothing to do with him at all or would only settle for a damn slave at this point. I mean, what a complete—a complete—”
“Male?” Indigo guessed on a shrug. “Because, honestly, I had no idea that was the basis of whatever lesson this is you want him to learn, either.”
I glared his way.
He shrugged, unrepentant. “I’m not saying I’d forgive him today or anything. If it were me, I’d make him grovel for at least a good week. Maybe two. A moon cycle, tops.”
My mouth dropped open. “You’ve lost your damn mind.” I couldn’t believe he was siding with Farrow on this. I thought the two men couldn’t even stand each other. “This isn’t about forgiveness.”
I was completely prepared to forgive him for everything as soon as he realized lies were bad and trust was good.
