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I fully expected him to grin over my aggravation, maybe chuckle through it and ask me another idiotic question, like how much in love did I think I’d fall for him, or he’d rattle off one of his corny wordplay jokes. But he looked far too solemn and serious for anything of that nature.
And when he said, “Do you ever miss your powers?” I could only blink, dumbfounded.
No one had ever asked me that. I mean, there was really only Melaina around, but she certainly didn’t seem to care about my feelings over that situation, so I really hadn’t thought about it too much either. It usually only caused an ache to bloom in my chest, because yeah, I think I did miss my powers. They’d made me feel special, unique, like one-of-a-kind important. Adults, like my father’s uncles, had even respected them. And now, I was kind of like a no one with nothing going for me.
Except, it was also a relief to be free of them. I had been constantly scared with them inside me, worried I’d use them for bad, because of the curse, and end up hurting someone. So I didn’t want them back. But, yeah, I did miss how helpful it’d been for even minor daily things, like walking across a room to fetch something, when I could just will it to come to me. And I missed how important it made me feel.
So I couldn’t stop myself from murmuring, “Sometimes,” in a wistfully nostalgic voice.
My gaze strayed to Indigo. He watched me solemnly. “I think shedding your powers was the bravest, most selfless thing I’d ever heard of anyone doing,” he told me. “You were willing to give up your biggest strength in order to protect others. That always seemed like it would’ve been incredibly frightening to do, to make yourself vulnerable just to save a realm full of strangers.”
It had been frightening at the time. I didn’t really think about it anymore though. What was the point? My gifts were gone. I’d adjusted to life without them. And now, this was what I was.
But the mere fact that Indigo believed it was noteworthy enough to mention caused my throat to feel extra dry and my nose to burn.
He laughed softly, though there was only admiration, no amusement, in his voice when he looked at me, and he said, “It’s ironic, but the fact that you gave your powers to someone else always made me think you were probably the one Graykey that should’ve kept them. You had the strength of character to put others before yourself. So I just had this sense that you’d also have the strength to fight away the bloodlust, if it ever hit you. That’s why I listed you as low priority in my reports. I kind of hoped King Ignatius never found you. I didn’t think you should be caught.” Crinkling his brow into a funny face, he sniffed. “Weird, huh? I had no idea who you’d become to me. You were just a name on a piece of parchment, and yet I had this strange urge to protect you, even then. Makes you think destiny’s always at play, doesn’t it?”
I didn’t know how to answer. I had a bad feeling that anything I said would cause these unwanted emotions to bloom inside me, so I just muttered, “Go to sleep, High Clifter.”
His smile was soft. Blinking drowsily, he whispered, “Sweet dreams, empress,” and then he purposely closed his eyes.
But I continued to stare at him long after his breathing changed and he really did fall asleep. His charms went deeper than blatant flirting and devastating smiles, I realized. I think he actually respected me.
No one had ever respected me before.
Why would I even want to avoid a person like that? I wasn’t sure, but I had a feeling my own stubborn pride was going to make me hold firm against his advances anyway.
Chapter 19
Indigo
“You know what I still don’t get?” I said from atop Holly. She was back in her zebra form, and I was growing used to the odd stares passing travelers sent us. Or maybe they were suspicious of the shackles on my wrists.
Though, honestly, I think it was mostly Holly they gaped at.
Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. I was in too much of a good mood to care about either. I’d woken up this morning, facing my true love, asleep on her bedroll next to mine, and I’d gotten to watch her at rest, looking innocent and sweet as the sunlight rose over her. It’d been spectacular.
When neither Quilla nor Melaina answered me, I rode ahead until I’d drawn up alongside them and had wedged Holly between the two horses they were riding.
Each woman remained mute.
They’d been giving each other the silent treatment since we’d broken camp earlier and Melaina had let me finish their stew from the night before for my breakfast. Quilla had snapped at her for feeding me since I was supposed to be fending for myself. But Melaina had argued that she was just going to throw it out anyway, so what did it matter. Then Quilla had directed half her anger at me for eating the stew.
But it was stew.
The stale, tasteless rations I had in my pack could never compete with the rich bounty of flavors in stew. And Quilla had made a particularly damn fine stew. Besides, I’d gone to bed last night without any supper, so I was starving. There was no way I was passing up an offering of stew. Quilla could just be mad at me for a while.
Which she was. And Melaina was now mad at me too, because—
Well, I wasn’t sure why she also refused to talk to me. But Melaina didn’t seem to need a reason to be pissed off. Her moods shifted so frequently I figured she’d get over whatever was wrong with her within the next five minutes, anyway.
It might’ve had something to do with how quickly I’d cleaned the crock in the spring after finishing the stew, though. She had thrust a scrubbing wand and soap powder at me and instructed me to go wash the pot out in the brook. Which was exactly what I’d done. Thinking I needed to hurry, I’d accomplished my task with the utmost speed, not wanting to delay us from our
departure.
But she’d snapped at me that no kitchenware could possibly be decently cleaned in the pathetic amount of time I’d taken on it. Muttering something about how I needed to learn proper hygiene and cleanliness if I truly intended to go to the old world with them, she jerked the cauldron from my hand, adding, “Let me see this.”
I assumed her intent was to criticize my shoddy washing abilities, but after squinting into the pot for a good two minutes, she looked up, scowling. Obviously finding nothing critique-worthy, she shoved it back into my stomach as hard as she could. “Well, put it away in the pantry pack, then.”
