Page 47 of The Color of Grace


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“But you certainly don’t like me enough to ever go out with me.”

“I-I…you’re with Kiera,” I sputtered. “And what about Todd?”

He gave an impatient sigh. “I’m not actually asking you out. This is a hypothetical question. If there were no Todd and no Kiera, why would you turn me down?”

I took a step backward. “I don’t want to play what-if anymore.”

Countering me with a step forward, he growled, “Just answer the question. What about my personality offends you so much?”

“I can’t answer that question. Your personality is fine. I’d just…I think the only reason I’d turn you down now is because you’ve been with Kiera.”

Caught off guard, he pulled back and blinked. “Wow. I knew you two didn’t exactly get along, but I didn’t realize you hated her that much.”

I colored. “I don’t hate her. And it’s not her specifically. And it’s not that you just went out with her.”

His brows crinkled and I watched him think hard, looking confounded. When the light clicked on, he sucked in a breath, his gaze flashing to me. “Sex,” he said. “This is about sex. You wouldn’t go out with me because you think I’ve...”

I looked away, blushing furiously.

“Grace,” he said softly. “I…” He ran both hands through

his hair, then let out a laugh, or maybe it was a snort. Either way, the sound was full of bitter amusement.

“What?” I couldn’t help but ask, even though I knew I shouldn’t. This conversation had already gone way beyond the limits of propriety.

He shook his head. “It’s just ironic. You say you’d never date me now because you’d have a problem assuming I’ve been sexually active with someone else and worrying I wouldn’t be able to stop being that way for you. But the thing is—” He broke off suddenly and shook his head as if he wasn’t going to continue.

“What?” I demanded again; I had to know what he was going to say.

“If you think I’m so sexually active, why don’t you ask your boyfriend how many girls he’s been with.”

I gawked after him as he turned his back to me and stormed down the hall. The tense set of his shoulders showed his agitation. Agitation I’d given him.

Unease boiled inside me because I had a bad feeling the answer to his question was a lot, and an even worse feeling that Todd Stangman wanted to add me to the notch on his bedpost. Like a rabbit realizing it’d been caught in the sights of a mighty lion, I felt panicked and trapped.

Chapter 14

I float in a confused purple haze. Hot red mixed with cold blue, leaving me swirling somewhere in the mystical in-between. Too much uncertainty. Too much doubt. They say purple is supposed to be all about good judgment and spiritual satisfaction. Therefore, I seriously doubt I’m purple.

* * * *

The rest of the week progressed in a blur of new classes and adjusting schedules. Glad it went much faster than my first day, I jumped when the bell to end last period rang, ending school. And beginning the weekend.

Todd had not kept his promise to stop the rumors about me being Stangman’s woman. When I asked him about it on Wednesday as people I didn’t know kept calling me that dreaded moniker, he shrugged with a guilty little smile and said, “Hey, I told them to stop.”

I had my doubts he’d done any such thing. But I’d lost some of the nerve I’d had Tuesday morning. My daring only came in short bursts, and my backbone had wilted back into a limp noodle.

But honestly, Ryder had instilled a sense of doom inside me, making me think that no matter how hard I tried to avoid a relationship with Todd, my efforts would be useless. I was in the boy’s sights; he was locked on and ready to engage his target. Frankly, he intimidated the heck out of me.

Not a quality to instill true love.

I was almost queasier about meeting him at the bowling alley than I had been walking into the gymnasium Monday night to meet him after the basketball game. Thinking I’d diffuse some of his romantic notions—and I only call them romantic for lack of a better word—I had Barry drive me to the bowling alley instead of letting Todd pick me up as he’d wanted to do.

Mom and I hadn’t spoken all week. The temperature inside Barry’s house had grown about as frosty as it was outside.

Each day she carried on our silent treatment, my resentment grew. Aside from the nerd herd, my mother was my best friend on earth. I had always, always gone to her to talk about everything. And now that I needed her the most, when my world had never been so confusing and new, she failed me because she was jealous Barry had bought me a stupid necklace instead of getting her one.

And speaking of the nerd herd, I felt a step removed from them as well. A bunch of Southeast students thought it’d be funny to post a hoard of comments on my Facebook profile that simply said, “Stangman’s Woman.”

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