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SECOND ENCOUNTER
So was it any wonder that I absolutely dreaded making my second trip to the Merrill house?
I guess I really hadn’t needed to go there, but after confessing all the humiliating details of my pregnancy origins to my family and getting their full support and offer of help, I began to think of the thing growing inside me as an actual child.
And I realized that someday this child was probably going to talk. And ask questions. Lots of questions. Just like my six-year-old nephew, Braiden, did. And I could already picture him or her asking the very first one.
But, Mama, who’s my daddy?
Honestly, I hadn’t known all that much about Duke Merrill. Ergo, here I was. Again.
Remembering the last time I’d been here, I shuddered in revulsion, then winced in guilt because I wasn’t being very respectful of the dead. Poor Duke couldn’t help it that he’d been so bad in the sack. He’d just been happy for one last orgasm. And I should be satisfied with giving him a smile on his way out.
If only it hadn’t ended with me turning into a soon-to-be mother.
Dear God, even the word mother made me break out in a cold sweat. I was so not ready for parenthood.
But never mind that. I was here for an entirely different reason. Or maybe it was because of that very reason I was here. Part of me was already acting motherly and striving to give my child whatever I thought was needed.
Steeling my resolve before seeing Duke’s brother again, I fisted my hands at my sides, blew out a long breath, and then I did it.
I knocked on the door.
My pulse picked up and nerves set in when I heard footsteps approaching from the inside. Then I winced as the latch clicked and the door began to open.
Vaughn appeared before I was ready for him to, all tall and imposing, dark eyes meeting mine and sending a punch of intimidation and attraction right through me.
Wait. Did I just say attraction? Yeah, scratch that. That word totally had not meant to come out of my thoughts. Because I was not attracted to Vaughn Merrill. I mean, just because a person was attractive didn't automatically mean you had to form some kind of sexual—
No, not sexual. Jesus, why did I keep thinking words I didn’t mean to? This was getting bad. And all the while, he just stood there, waiting for me to speak, while my brain fumbled over words I didn’t want it to think.
He had a thick covering of facial hair now, and the rings under his eyes told me he hadn’t been sleeping well. The poor man was still mourning. It hadn’t even been two months since he’d buried his brother.
Damn, maybe I should’ve waited a bit before making this house call.
Oh well. Too late now. He was already standing there, still just looking at me. Waiting.
Stomach twitching with sympathy, I shed all the spite and resentment and—okay, fine—attraction I’d been feeling for him, and I heaved in a big breath before saying, “Hi,” as brightly as I could.
His eyes twitched as he squinted at me in confusion.
Certain that meant he didn’t recognize me, I clasped my hands together and said, “You probably don’t remember me, but—”
“I remember,” he cut in stonily.
“O-oh.” For some reason, I hadn’t expected him to say that, so now I was all thrown off-balance and couldn’t remember what I’d planned to ask in the first place. “Well, uh, good. I mean…”
Argh, I really sucked at this.
Shaking my head and giving him a tremulous apologetic grin, I added, “I didn’t get a chance to speak with you at the funeral…”
Because I might have purposely avoided him at all costs that day.
But I had gone to the service with a couple of my coworkers, and none of them knew I’d—you know—had relations with Duke. I kind of really didn’t want any of them to know, either, so I’d avoided running into Vaughn while I was with the others because I’d had this unreasonable fear that he would oust me completely, pointing when he saw me and shouting in front of all the mourners: Hey, aren’t you that lady who had the one-night stand with my brother? Or worse. What if he pointed and said, YOU’RE the reason Duke’s gone.
So yeah, no way could I go anywhere near him that day and potentially get myself guilted for life.
“I saw you there,” Vaughn told me, making me feel even worse for avoiding him.
