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“Oh,” I repeated. “Well, I—I just wanted to express my condolences. I’m so sorry for your loss. I only knew Duke from Beriss for those few months he worked there, but, uh, he was a very memorable guy. I think he packed more life into the office than everyone else combined.”
When I paused—because this was the point where the other person usually thanked you for your compassion and offer of comfort—Vaughn Merrill didn’t thank me at all. And he certainly didn’t appease my biggest fear that my being with Duke might’ve been what killed him.
Narrowing his eyes with suspicion, he merely said, “And?”
And?
“Uh…” Wow, he just kept jostling me with his unexpected and rudely abrupt responses. Not that I didn’t deserve them—you know, for possibly killing off his brother—but still.
“Well…” Clearing my throat before getting to the next part, I nodded, bolstering myself. Then… “I was just wondering if you had a picture or two of him to spare that I could keep and, uh, if there’s anything about him you’d be willing to share with me. Just random, odds-and-ends facts that someone might put into—I don’t know—a family scrapbook or…or something. Just anything. It would be really helpful.”
Vaughn didn’t answer for an
uncomfortably long moment. Then he shook his head slightly, revealing his confusion. “I thought you said you hadn’t known him that well.”
“Yeah…” I started, frowning out my own bewilderment. “Th-that’s why I’m asking for a couple of things to help me get a better picture of who he was in my head.”
“Why?” he asked bluntly.
Oh Jesus. I really hadn’t wanted to tell him why.
It was at that moment that I realized he’d never invited me inside. But it wasn’t his lack of manners that bothered me. It was me, standing outside in the open for anyone to hear me confess my life mistakes that I wasn’t a big fan of.
Gritting my teeth, I backed up, stepped down off the first step to the front stoop and glanced left, then right. No neighbors seemed to be out in their yards to listen in. So I sucked in more courage and turned back to Vaughn, coming back up the stairs.
“So the thing is,” I started in a rush. “I’m pregnant, and I just thought a tiny bit of information about the baby’s daddy would be nice to have on hand in case, you know, someday the little bambino actually asks about him.” I rubbed my belly and sent Vaughn a chagrined wince as I finished the whirlwind explanation, probably running the words together horribly in order to get them all out as fast as possible. “So can you help a girl out?”
He just stared at me. Again.
Then he blinked. “You’re pregnant?”
I refused to say it again, so I just bit the corner of my lip nervously and nodded.
“And you’re sure it’s his?”
I really had to work and get myself right with Jesus in order not to take exception to that question.
But once I finally calmed myself enough to answer rationally, I nodded. “Yes.”
“How?”
I’m sorry, what?
“Did you just ask me how? As in how I’m sure Duke’s the father? Really?”
Alright, screw calm.
Vaughn Merrill needed to be taught a lesson in some serious manners. You don’t press a woman on whether or not she was absolutely certain she knew who her baby’s daddy was if she answered with an explicitly clear yes the first time around.
Asshole.
“Well, you know. Now that you mention it, I am a little uncertain. Because it’s either Duke’s baby or the last guy I was with...two fucking years ago. So, you know....” I lifted both hands and alternated between shifting them up and down as if weighing my choices. “I guess it could go either way. I’m so glad you asked, though, and made me feel like a super slut in the process. Appreciate it.”
Not a fan of my sarcasm, he sniffed and shook his head. “I didn’t mean…” But he must’ve known he couldn’t save face at that point, so he dropped whatever excuse, apology, or explanation he’d been about to make, and my own guilt reached a snapping point.
“Look. I’m sorry. Okay?” Tears watered in my eyes. “I know it’s my fault he died. And if I could take it back, I totally would, but it doesn’t negate the fact that—”
“It’s not your fault that he died,” he cut in, squinting at me as if confused why I would make such a claim.
