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Muttering, “Thanks,” I ripped the bag from his hand and began to slam the door in his face.
“Whoa, hey.” He caught it with his palm and stepped inside behind me as I threw the bag into a side chair. Watching me struggling with trying to soothe Ava, he finally asked, “Want me to hold her for a few minutes?”
Whirling around, I glared. “Oh, if you’re so sure you’re going to get her to calm down after I’ve already spent nearly an hour trying, then fine. Be my guest.”
I thrust Ava at him so fast that he had to scramble to catch her. And immediate guilt lacerated my chest. He could’ve dropped her. All because of my sour disposition.
“God, I’m sorry,” I gushed, pressing the heels of my hands to my forehead as tears immediately flooded my eyes. “I’m just so out of sorts right now.”
“It’s okay; it’s fine,” he assured, juggling Ava slightly while she continued to scream uncontrollably. “She’s definitely entered the period of purple crying, hasn’t she?”
Oh, here we go again. Someone else who knew more about what was wrong with my kid than I did.
Then again, at this point, I was convinced the hamster I’d had as a child who ate all her young must’ve been a better mother than I was.
“The what?” I muttered, sighing out a sound of defeat as my headache grew in intensity.
“It’s a phase most babies go through,” he tried to explain over Ava’s screams. “I guess it lasts from about two weeks old to three or four months. But the two-month mark is the worst of it.”
“Swell,” I groused.
Typically, I appreciated it whenVaughn shared whatever baby information he’d read, but tonight, I just wasn’t in the mood.
“So how do we stop it?”
Vaughn winced. “You don’t. The babies just...grow out of it.”
“Fuck.” I looked down at my crying daughter. “I’m not going to make it to four months. I’m just...not.”
I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be able to handle four more minutes of this.
“Why don’t you go somewhere where you can’t hear her for a bit?” Vaughn suggested. “You can put yourself back together and then come back when you’re refreshed.”
Put myself back together?
Did he just tell me to put myself back together?
Where did he get off, telling me I was a fucking mess?
I mean, I totally knew I was an unhinged, emotional wreck but this was so not the moment for anyone else to mention it.
“Or how about you go somewhere with your judgmental cracks and shove them all where the sun don’t shine,” I growled and stepped forward to rip Ava from his arms, making her scream even louder.
Alarm filled Vaughn’s eyes. “Jesus, Lucy. I didn’t mean—”
“This is my child,” I told him, glaring with irrational rage as I pulled her in as if I thought he was going to physically try to wrestle her out of my arms. “Mine. And my one and only job right now is to put her to fucking sleep, so that’s what I’m going to do. Without you.”
Whirling away, I stormed down the hall until I reached the nursery, where I slammed the door and promptly burst into tears all over again.
I knew I was one hundred percent in the wrong and that I was eventually going to have to apologize to him. But for now, I just wanted to cry with my child.
Collapsing into the rocking chair, I cuddled the thrashing, screaming infant to my chest, and I mentally fell apart.
Fifteen minutes had passed before I realized the room had gone quiet. I looked down into my baby’s face, and instantly panicked when I saw how peaceful and silent she was, her eyes closed and body prone. My fingers trembled as they gently pressed against her lips, and when warm, moist breath greeted my fingers, tears filled my eyes all over again.
I couldn’t afford to lose my cool like that. My daughter was counting on me to keep it together enough to get her to adulthood, and we weren’t even a full two months into this ride yet.
Damn. I felt like a failure and the worst sort of person ever as I pushed from the chair and eased toward the crib. My legs shook, and my entire system felt as fragile as a snowflake. Holding my breath, I lowered her into her bed, then froze, watching her face to make sure she didn’t stir.
