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Lucy laughed and agreed, “That is weird.” Then she hitched a thumb over her shoulder. “But, hey, do you mind if I throw my shirt in with yours? We could just wash them together.”
It was a completely innocent, legitimate question. But it felt so domestic and tempting, like we were a regular couple, setting up house together. A part of me wanted to yell no and rush from the house because the major portion of my soul loved the idea.
Swallowing my reservations, I managed a nod. “S-sure. My things are sitting on top of the washer.”
She brightened. “Great.” After turning away, she disappeared down the hall for a moment before returning with a wad of cloth in her hand.
I continued to hold Ava and bounce her up and down in my arms as I walked us around the living room. I, honest to God, loved to hold her. It always made me feel happier.
Except the happier I felt just being with Ava and Lucy, the more guilt that ate away at me too.
Thriving from my brother’s death would be the worst thing I could ever do. I knew he had wanted me to be okay and not miserable. But I needed to do that in any other direction than where his daughter and her mother lay.
In the backroom, I heard the washer begin, and then Lucy returned, her smile so infectious that I fell flat in love with her, right there in her living room, as simple as that.
And thus, agony gnawed at my gut.
“Thanks,” she started, strolling my way.
This time, I handed the baby back immediately, rattled to my core.
Lucy took Ava and kissed her cheeks before settling the infant into her arms, completely oblivious to what I was thinking and feeling.
“Well…” I started, shoving my hands into my back pockets and reversing away from the enticing pair. “I should probably get back to…”
I motioned blindly toward the direction of the garage when both her phone and mine seemed to ding simultaneously.
“Hmm…” she murmured, sending me a curious glance. “I wonder what that’s about.”
I pulled my phone from my front pocket as she fetched hers from the coffee table. Not expecting to find anything from one of her family members, I blinked in surprise before reading the group text.
CRESS: No-parent engagement party for me and Mav @ Fox and Bella’s place this Saturday. 7 pm.
“Well, they work fast,” Lucy said, shaking her head in amusement as I lifted my face and frowned.
“What does a no-parent party mean?”
“Oh!” She chuckled. “It means none of our parents will be there, so we’ll most likely act crazier and get tons drunker than if the whole family was invited.”
I nodded but still didn’t quite understand all that, so Lucy tried to explain. “Almost everyone that’s about our age is kind of like the second generation of friends. Our parents started the group, you see, and when they had us kids, we were raised practically like siblings. Or cousins. However you want to see it. Anyway, for some reason, we stayed as close as the first generation did. So we like to party a lot without them around too.”
That made a little more sense to me, but it still didn’t explain one thing. “Why did I get an invite, though? You think they included me by accident?”
“Nope.” Lucy seemed amused by my confusion. “I don’t think it was an accident at all.” Eyebrows lifting, she said, “I do believe you’re considered one of us now, Mr. Merrill.”
Another wave of longing and joy mixed with guilt and torment washed over me. I’d felt so alone for so long, taking care of Duke by myself. Having a huge support system and foundation now was a dream come true. But if it took losing my brother to gain all this…
I felt sick to my stomach, even as I wanted to pull every single one of Lucy’s family members close and just hug them.
“You should go,” Lucy was telling me. “I think you’ll have fun.”
I glanced at her, not sure how to handle the two polar-opposite emotions raging through me. But something about the way she worded that made me think she wouldn’t be going to the party herself.
“Are you not going?”
“Oh!” She blushed in surprise at the question and shook her head, hugging her daughter closer. “No, I don’t think so. I’d have to find a sitter, and I haven’t left Ava with anyone yet except for Mom when I’ve had to go to work. And I’d hate to ask her for this since she’s already watching the baby every weekday.”
I nodded, then murmured, “I probably won’t go, either, then.”
