Page 21 of Just Hold On

Chapter 20

The road wassilent when I pulled off the highway and onto the dirt road. It had been at least an hour since I'd seen another car, but I was almost home. I rolled down my window to let the cool morning air revitalize me, and pulled my hair free of the ponytail holder I'd had it in. In the rearview mirror, a pale dust cloud glowed in my tail lights.

Trees blocked the view of the sky, but the moon was already down, just like I wanted my head to be. The weekend had taken its toll, but I could make it. Just two more miles and I'd be home with an hour to spare and a man waiting for my text.

The thought of Ty had me smiling all over again. Oh, he was hot. That wasn't a surprise to anyone who followed bull riding. That he'd been so sweet, and he'd actually taken an interest in me? Not possible. A little part of me still wondered if this was some joke, some variation of the crap I'd gotten from the guys on the local rodeo circuit, but I hoped not. I liked him. Oh, I liked every line of his body and that sexy little boyish smile he tossed out so easily, but it was more than that. I liked him, the man who pointed out that I'd scored better without any hesitation.

Shelby was going to lose it. She'd been my best friend since third grade. I'd always been the risk taker, Shelby was the one with the plots, but we were peas in a pod in our own way. Granted, ever since Shelby had gotten married, we didn't spend as much time together, but that was ok. I'd been on the road more than I should, and she had the baby. Well, toddler now. Knowing my dedication had finally paid off? I had to brag to someone, because no one else would believe that my buckle was real - or that I'd kissed Ty McBride.

Slowing for the last turn, I dared to squeal out loud at the thought. Yeah, I was alone, so I could deny it later, but wow. Fourth place, Ty, qualified to keep going on the Tough Enough Series - and all in the same weekend? My life couldn't get any better than this. I was the real deal now, and couldn't wait for the next person to tell me to give up.

Just before the bend, two blue reflectors marked my drive. When I turned between the big oak trees, I could see the porch light was still on. It didn't make the trailer look much better, but it felt like my dad had been waiting, at least. My headlights flashed across the front, illuminating the ceiling inside, and glared back from the picture of my mom that hung by the TV. I killed the truck before it could wake my dad and hopped out. Chaps over my shoulder, my ruined rope and well-worn spurs in one bag, my clothes in another, and I managed to fit the plastic bag full of memories around my wrist, meaning I could make it in with just one trip. Laden like a pack mule, I hauled my aching body to the porch, ignoring the cat slinking away in the grass, and fumbled for the keys.

The knob turned before I found the right one, and my father pulled the door open. His jeans were wrinkled, which meant he'd slept in them again, and his face was scruffy. I smiled at the sight, then canted sideways to fit my things through the narrow door.

"Morning, Daddy. You're up early."

He grunted. "You said you'd call."

"I did, but it was after midnight before I was done, so I didn't leave a message. Figured I'd be home before you woke up."

"And what if you'd gotten in a wreck?" He snagged my chaps from my shoulder and my equipment bag off the same arm. "Just toss it on the couch, kiddo. How'd ya do?"

I dumped the clothes bag on the old floral print monstrosity then stepped aside so he could put the rest on top of it. "Rode all three." Then I headed for the kitchen, intending to draw this out as long as I could.

"Yeah? So you pay your way this time? Because Gerardo came by, askin' if you wanted to help with his next cut this week."

"I do." Since my dad had already prepared the coffee pot, I just pressed the button, telling it to brew. "Gonna need some money for next weekend."

"What for?" Dean Jennings wasn't a little guy, and when he planted his mass in the doorway, there was no way I could sneak past.

I just leaned casually against the fridge. "I placed fourth, Dad. Ten grand, twenty-first in the PBR Tough Enough Series rankings, and I'm qualified for St. Louis." One hand tilted my buckle up. "I did it."

For a moment, he just stared, trying to wrap his mind around the words that had come out of my mouth. Then he whooped, rushing forward to scoop me up into a massive bear hug. "That's my little girl! Damn, honey, I'm proud of you!"

"Oh," I grunted, patting his arm. "Down, Daddy. That's a bruise."

He almost dropped me in his haste. "What happened? You ok?"

"Nah, I'm fine." I hiked up my shirt over my right hip and pushed at the waist of my jeans to expose the mark. "Took a glancing blow right across the hip and it's bruised pretty good, but that's all."

"You sure? How bad was it?"

I shrugged. "Coulda been worse. Oh!" I pushed him aside then hurried back to the couch. This was one thing that would make my father happy. I managed to find the plastic bag - it was right on top - then pulled out the helmet. "How about that? I'm gonna be wearing this, it sounds like."

"A helmet?" My father looked confused.

I just reached over for the light on the side table and flipped the switch. "Yeah. A lot of the guys use 'em."

"Honey, how much did you spend on that?"

"Nothing." I turned it so he could see the bright pink flames. "J.D. Adkins got one of his sponsors to give it to me during the awards. And he had it customized, so I have to wear it. Figured you'd be happy."

"Oh," he assured me, "I'm thrilled. Just spent a long time listening to you say that you weren't that kind of bull rider and how the point was to stay on, not be scared of riding."

I couldn't stop the sigh. "I know, but some of the guys convinced me to try one, and Emilio, one of the guys from Brazil, his fit. The bull I was riding that time fell on me - he was a little thing, Dad, so don't worry - but I cracked my head into the wall. Emilio didn't even care that I left paint on his helmet, and I didn't feel a thing. I dunno, guess if I'm in the big leagues, and the others are doing it, then I won't get the same kind of crap, right?"

"Hun, I'm thrilled. Maybe we should go shopping in town and get you a fancy pink shirt to match it? My treat, kiddo."

I waved him off. "I made ten grand, Dad. I think I can buy a shirt or two. Besides, your taste sucks."

He chuckled. "Been a long time since I was on the circuit. Things have changed a bit. So how did the guys treat you?"

This was the best part. "Dad, I hung out with some of the top riders. Didn't really talk to them that much, but it was kinda crazy. The Brazilians are fun. The Canadians are just as polite as you could imagine. Had a couple ask if I was gonna make it to St. Louis, so yeah. I mean, since I'm qualified, I might as well, right?" A couple meaning Ty.

"Honey," he said, dragging it out. "How long you gonna keep doing this? I mean, you said you had a bull fall on you. You sure you aren't ready to use that check and look at some colleges or something?"

And this was what he always did. I huffed out a breath and squared my shoulders. "I'm just as good as them, Dad. I can do this. You are the one that taught me to ride, so don't act like you're shocked."

"You were five," he shot back. "And it was a sheep. When you were ten and it was steers, it was cute, but dammit, Cody! These are real bulls, and you're not tough enough to live through one of them trampling you."

"That's where you're wrong," I promised. "I'm just as good as any of those guys. Jesus, Dad, I thought you'd be proud of me!" I tossed the helmet back with the rest of my things and stormed toward my bedroom.

He followed. "I am proud of you, but you're done. There's no reason for you to keep chasing this crap. You've proven you can do it, so why are you wanting to keep going?"

"Why did you?" I asked, turning back at my door.

Thwarted, he thumped his fist on the cheap wall. "Because I didn't have any other options. I coulda spent my life logging or rodeoing, and unlike you, I spent just as much time calf roping."

"Well, I didn't get a horse."

"Because we can't afford it!" He stepped closer, but I retreated, slamming the door in his face. "Cody!"

"Go to work, Dad. You're gonna be late."

He tried the knob anyway, but I'd locked it. "I tried, ok? We don't have the land, and I couldn't afford the board for a horse. Damn it. What do you want from me?"

"I'm going to St. Louis," I yelled through the wood. "And I drove all night so you wouldn't be late. Go to work."

"Cody…" he said on the other side of my door. "Honey, I just don't know what I'd do if you got hurt, ok?"

"No? What would you do if I'd been that son you wanted?" I shot back.

For a moment, there was silence, but I didn't hear him leave. Finally, "We'll talk about this when I get home, ok?"

"Nothing to talk about. I'm not giving up."

"And you're still my daughter. One I've never regretted getting. Honey, let's just talk about it? At least let me help you figure out how to pay for this?"

He was trying. I knew he was trying, so I gave in - but only a bit. "We'll talk about it, but I'm going, and you can't stop me."

"Yeah," he grumbled. "I can see that. Get some sleep, kiddo. I really am proud of ya."

There in my childhood bedroom, I flopped back on the bed. Those were the words I'd worked so hard to hear, so why didn't they feel as sweet as I'd imagined? Because they always came with a condition. He was proud of me because he thought I would finally quit. He kept telling me that girls couldn't ride the bulls, but I could. I'd proven it, so why couldn't he understand how much I loved this?

The sound of the truck starting reminded me that I was really home, which meant I had one more promise to keep. Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I found that number with the strange area code J.D. had sent over, then swiped at it.

Cody:Made it home in one piece. Hurt like hell. How was your night?

A few seconds later, my phone buzzed, but it wasn't a text. He hadn't bothered to reply, just called right back. I answered, "Hey."

"Now that's a voice that sounds good at this time of morning." Ty replied, sounding groggy. "I was waiting for you."

"Sleeping?"

"Nah." He chuckled. "There are some really bad infomercials in the middle of the night, but I couldn't quite get comfortable. Felt like something was missing."

"Me?"

Ty chuckled. "I was thinking more about the puking, naked showering, and making out parts, but yeah. You."

"And here I thought you'd just taken me home because you felt guilty." I didn't, not really, but I wanted to hear what he'd say.

He didn't disappoint, either. "Nah, baby. Renato busted me looking for you when I was strapping in to ride. When we got done, he was giving me hell about crushing on some girl - and yes, he knew you were a bull rider, so don't even go there - and Hannah all but kicked him out of bed to play my wingman."

"Really?"

"Mhm. He said they were worried that if you shot me down, then I'd do something stupid like try to drive myself home drunk."

I scoffed at that. "Ty, who in her right mind would shoot you down?"

"If you remember, you did. Twice."

"Uh..."

He chuckled. "And Friday, I thought I'd played that one just right, too. Was sure that you'd find me interesting enough to at least let me steal a kiss."

"Oh?" That was a bunch of crap, and we both knew it. "You trying to say you were just planning on getting to know me?"

For a moment, there was silence. I could barely hear him breathing. "No," he finally said. "No, I didn't expect to at first, but that was kinda dick of me. I didn't even plan on buying your beer. There was just something about you - I dunno, some defiance that made me want to know more. That it was on such a pretty face? Yeah. That's why I followed you to that table."

"And didn't know I was riding bulls," I reminded him.

But he cut me off. "I had a good guess. Cody, I wasn't up on the rail Saturday because I thought some groupie was going to meet me. I was on the rail during your ride because I wanted to see if Cody from the bar matched up with a rookie named Cody from Missouri."

"Why?"

He made a soothing noise. "Baby, your jeans told on you. If you weren't riding in the drill team, then all that was left was a bull, and J.D. said there was a woman riding. I put it all together after we talked."

"Oh. Not a lot of people approve of what I do. It's a pretty new thing for me, ok? I mean, even my dad flipped out when I got home."

"Then don't listen to him. Baby, anyone gives you crap about riding bulls, and I'll beat it out of him. Just one condition?"

"What's that?"

"You're no one's buckle bunny. Now how are you spending your week alone?"

"Oh," I said innocently, "planned to meet up with my girlfriend and giggle about the hot bull riders I met."

"You'd better mean me."

"I most certainly do," I assured him. "Because Shelby has a big poster of you in her little boy's room, and we've spent a whole lot of time drooling over it."

"Wait." One little laugh slipped out, then he paused. "Cody, you saying you've been a fan?"

"Maybe." I let him hang on that for a second before fessing up. "I knew who you were, but wasn't ready to show my cards. I mean, I wasn't really interested in becoming your next joke, so I tried to make a quick break, but you kept making me smile."

"That's a good thing, right? Besides, I like that you ride bulls like a pro."

"Good, because I have no intention of stopping." And then I yawned.

He must've heard. "Me either, baby. Means we're a good match, I think. Hun, I miss you already, and St. Louis feels like a real long time away."

I was smiling. I could feel it in both of my cheeks. "It kinda does. Thanks for understanding, Ty."

"About what?"

"You know, me trying to prove I can do this. That I'm not looking for some easy mode. Making me feel like there's nothing wrong with riding bulls." I bit my lip hoping he wasn't about to disagree.

Ty murmured something that sounded like acknowledgment. "I do understand. Doesn't mean I'm gonna treat you like the rest of the guys, but I get it," he promised. "And I'm not about to let anyone chase you off without helping you fight back. Ok?"

"Yeah. That's exactly what I meant." Again, I yawned.

He chuckled. "You sound exhausted. Had to've been a real long drive, and I should probably get some sleep before driving to St. Louis today."

"Yeah. I think my bed is winning. Take care, Ty. And if you wanna call me tonight, I'll probably answer."

"Then I'll do that. Good night, baby. Sleep good. Hopefully, you'll be dreaming about me."

I knew I would be. The memories of his kisses made me want to giggle like I was back in high school, and the way his voice sounded so nice and deep over the phone warmed me in a way that made no sense. I hung up and placed the phone on the bed beside me, but when I fell asleep, I was still wearing his shirt.

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