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ALWAYS QUICK TO BE PHYSICAL, BUT NEVER READY TO COMMIT.
NATHAN
Not even a ride could clear my thoughts. All I could see in my mind was the scared look in Karina’s eyes.
I wanted nothing more than to stay beside her. To keep her safe in my arms. But that… that was the problem. I had to be away from her, just like I had to be away from my family, for her safety. It wasn’t an option; it was a necessity to keep those I cared for out of harm’s way.
The crowd of money makers didn’t particularly like me. I held them accountable; kept them from killing my boss and taking over his empire, as most put it. And those actions put a target on my back. The wealthy were smart and knew how to use vulnerability to manipulate the actions of others. Unfortunately for them, I had none. I was Nathan James, an orphaned bodyguard.
But to the woman with the gray streaks in her blond locks, sitting on the porch of a white wooden two-story home, I was—
“Nathan James Rainer.” She tilted her head to the side. Her fingers stopped knitting, and she placed the needles down on her lap. Her eyes stared up at me, waiting for my response. Well, an apology.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called you or stopped by in months.” I climbed up the steps with a small smile. “It’s been busy at work.”
“Too busy to let your grandmother know you’re still alive?”
Yes, technically, but if I told her that, she’d stab me with one of her knitting needles.
“First Sebastien comes home with a black eye, and now you show up without a phone call.”
Either he was becoming careless or Nana was getting harder on him. I assumed it was the latter. Nothing could ever get past her, especially not that troubled kid she took in with open arms.
“I can’t do anything about Bass, but I’ll take some time to call you.” It was the least I could do for the woman who raised me.
“Good. Now, what brings you around, work?”
“I always have to stop by whenever I’m around, Nana. You’d kill me if I didn’t.”
“That doesn’t answer the question, Nathan.” Her steely gaze pierced my boundaries. As I said, nothing could ever get past her.
“Alright.” I waved a hand in the air. “I got into a little trouble at work.”
Nana got quiet. Her eyes drifted down to the blue blanket she was slowly knitting in her hands. “I see. What kind of trouble?”
“There’s this girl.” Her eyes drifted up as I spoke. “Before you think anything, she’s my boss’s daughter.”
That didn’t stop her from picking up the knitting needle, pointing it towards me.
“I swear I didn’t do anything...” I held my hands up in defense. “Without her consent.”
“Nathan James Rainer.” She raised an eyebrow at me, never putting down the needles.
“What? It’s not like I meant for it to happen.” I reached over and pushed her weapons of choice back down to her lap. Her body relaxed a little.
“So, this girl?” she asked, suddenly curious. “What’s her name?”
“Karina.”
“And you two are together?”
“No.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “What is with you boys? Always quick to be physical, but never ready to commit.”
Blame your child, I wanted to say. But I knew better. That would have only resulted in a slap across the head. “I’m not interested in all that. I can barely see you guys. Why would I want to drag her into my mess?”
“Nathan, she is already in your mess. She’s a part of the life you lead.”
When she put it that way... “Temporarily until she leaves, or I find a new job.”
“You enjoy working where you’re at, as lonely as it is. Having a female companion, daughter of your boss or not, would be good for you.”
Funny, Mr. Vasiliev thought the same thing when he first assigned me. If only he knew that I was still making out with his daughter a year later.
My grandmother grabbed her unfinished blanket and passed it, along with the needles, to me. I took them from her hands before reaching for her arm, but she swatted me away.
“I can get up on my own.” Her wrinkled fingers wrapped around the armrest as she pushed herself up slowly. The night air blowing her nightgown loosely around her body.
Stubborn woman. Still, I couldn’t help but admire her. She had a lot of fire in her, despite being old.
“She’s not interested,” I lied. Karina was interested. But I wasn’t sure if she was interested in going further with me. To another level. It was still too soon for anything. And if I was being honest, I really didn’t want to think about it.
“Are you still oblivious when it comes to women?” Her eyebrows arched, wrinkling her aging forehead.
I chuckled. “I think we all are.”
“I think you are choosing to be, just as you chose to be away from your own family for protection. You care about her.”
“She’s an assignment,” I assured her, looking down at my shoes.
“I’ve taken care of you since you were in diapers, Nathan. You wouldn’t come here to tell me about her if she was only an assignment.”
No matter how hard I tried, hiding anything from my grandmother was never an option. “I can’t fall for her,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Just because you say you can’t, doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Love doesn’t work that way.” She told me with a grin as she reached up. Her delicate hand patted my cheek. “I think you should bring her around one day. I’d like to meet her.”
My grandmother always wanted to meet the girls my brothers talked about, so I wasn’t surprised she wanted the same with me.
“I think that would fix all my issues, actually.” I smirked as she looked at me, confused. “If I like her, I’ll just send her your way so you can scare her off.”
She rolled her eyes, sighing. “If she has any backbone at all, me being honest and telling her whether I think she’s good for you or not shouldn’t scare her, Nathan.”
Yeah, sure. Nana scared everyone away, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t interested in Karina. At least, not to the point of wanting her to meet my family.
“So, what do I do about Karina?” I asked, hoping she’d give me an answer I could use.
“What are you asking me for? The only person who can answer that is you.” She smiled, not helping me one bit.
Though, I should have expected it. Nana would give everyone who asked exactly what they needed. But with me, I had to search the universe for answers.
“I should get going. I wanted to stop by Cole’s before I go back.”
My grandmother nodded her head. Stepping towards me, she wrapped her arms around me, and I did the same. It was a warm hug, the biggest I’ve given her for the longest time. The smell of apple cinnamon covered her, the one that made me think of home, her home.
“Cole would be so happy and proud that you’ve finally found someone.” She said into my chest.
Someone’s going to make you fall flat on your ass and eat those words one day. And I pray I’ll be there to see it.
The words came flooding back. Words Cole, my older brother, once said to me.
“He would probably roll with happiness.” I chuckled.
I pulled away from her, carefully handing her the blanket and knitting needles. “I forgot to ask, how’s Daniel doing?”
Although Daniel, my younger brother, and I weren’t really on speaking terms, I always had to make sure he was at least alive.
“He’s doing good. Now get out of here.” She shooed me away, her hands still full. “It’s getting late. I don’t want you out here in the dark.”
“I love you, Nana.” I called out and turned, hopping down the steps I used to trip over as a kid.
“And don’t be a stranger! Make sure you call.” She shouted. It was the same thing she said to me every time I left her house.
I wasn’t one to always listen, but I’d try. It was all I could do ever since Cole’s disappearance. But I couldn’t go back to the mansion yet. I still had one more stop. And that was Cole’s undated grave.
