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“I wanted to ask Katie for a favor.”
Matt nodded. “Ah, hey Greyson. This Fairhope place is really beautiful. I don’t know how you ever left.”
I smiled tightly. “Can I talk to Katie?”
“Yeah, of course. Let me go get her. Just a second.”
I heard the sounds of Katie playing a board game with the kids from deeper in the house. Molly asked if it was Daddy, but Katie asked them to wait where they were.
Katie had on sweatpants and no shoes when she came to the door. Her hair was messy and it looked like she hadn’t even put on makeup. She hadn’t been that comfortable with any of her other boyfriends to my knowledge, and it made me wonder if Matt was the one she’d stick with.
“I need the kids tonight,” I said.
Katie put her hands on her hips, then stepped out on the porch and pulled the door shut behind her. “What is this, Greyson?”
“I just need them.” I’d been neglecting them the last few days, and I hadn’t realized it when I got in the car, but the guilt was eating at me. It was one painful feeling too many with everything else swirling in my head. I wanted to take them out for ice cream and spoil them. I just wanted to hear their laughter and see their smiles. Maybe then I could remind myself why I needed to cut Harper free. Right now, the thought of ending things felt as appealing as cutting off my own fucking arm.
“No. You already have me out in the middle of nowhere for three months. I’m working remote, Matt is flying back every week. We’re all making sacrifices here, and I want my time with the kids.
I gritted my teeth. “Just a few hours.”
Katie’s anger faded a little as she looked me over. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on.”
“Don’t give me that shit, Greyson. This is exactly the same shit you always pull. You think you can just shoulder everything on your own. It’s not healthy. You bottle it all up until you burst on the first person who happens to be near you at the wrong time. So you can either tell me what’s going on, or you can drive your ass back home and wait until the weekend like we agreed.”
I held her glare for a few moments but said nothing.
“That’s what I thought. Go home, Greyson. You don’t have to confide in me, but you need to talk to somebody. You hold all that anger in forever and it’s going to come out in destructive ways. You’re going to hurt someone you care about.”
Already been there.
“Try getting laid,” Katie said. Her eyes looked a little pained to suggest it, but I knew the two of us were thoroughly done. The kids were the only thing connecting us anymore, and even that was a tentative, fragile string. We could dispassionately hand them off when it was our turn and drop any facade of friendship, and I doubted either of us would mind too much.
And that wasn’t fair. I was fucking bitter right now and my mind was spinning.
“I just want to get this shit at the inn done and get home. I don’t need a woman.”
Katie laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “You think you don’t need one. You didn’t even think you needed a woman when we were married. Why do you think it didn’t work? You only give people part of yourself. You’ve got to learn to give it all. You think you’re this big, tough man, but I just see a coward. Someone too afraid to get hurt so he never lets anyone have more than scraps of himself.”
My jaw ticked a few times, then I turned and stormed back to my car. Fucking hell. Every damn person in my life wanted to tell me what I should be doing. Did it occur to any of them that I might know how to live my own life? The kids were the most important thing, and I wasn’t going to let myself get distracted from that fact. Not by falling in lust with some Fairhope girl and not by letting my brother or grandfather convince me I should move out here.
No, I had my fucking life. I had work. I had my kids. That was all I needed, and as soon as I finished my job here, I was going back to that. Alone.
26
HARPER
A strong woman didn’t cry over men. Thankfully, I never pretended to be one of those, so I got myself a bag of Cheetos, some cheap wine, and watched Netflix while lying in bed for a few hours. And yes, I helped myself to a good cry or seven.
I wasn’t crying because of what I heard Greyson say–not exactly, anyway. I was crying because I realized how stupid I was. He’d told me again and again that it wouldn’t be anything but casual sex. And me? I’d immediately jumped to Googling baby names before bed. So yeah, I was crying mostly out of shame for being such an overly attached friend-with-benefits.
