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27
Ciana
“When you saidSheena wouldn’t ever be an issue again, I didn’t imagine you had this in mind,” I whisper-shouted as I gazed down at the open hatbox in…
Disgust?
Fear?
Fascination?
I couldn’t decide what I was feeling as I picked up a pen from Bain’s desk and used it to poke at Sheena’s head. The odor coming from it was something a person never would forget, no matter how long it was since the last time they’d smelled it. I remembered it well from nursing school and the few times a dead body had been brought into the ER during my emergency room clinical rotation.
The level of decomposition suggested Sheena had been dead for several days, not less than eighteen hours, but Bain had confessed that he’d put that bullet hole in his great-grandmother’s head himself right after we’d arrived at the castle. Given that he’d been so confident that I would trust him about never worrying about Sheena again, I kind of did believe he was telling the truth about shooting his dear old granny.
“Well?”
I had to force my eyes away from the pure horror of the old woman’s face to look at Bain. “Well, what?”
He took the pen from my hand and tossed it into the wastebasket beside the desk. “Do you believe me now?”
“It’s kind of hard not to trust you regarding Sheena, given that she’s burning in hell right now.”
“I wanted to gift you her head for what she put you through, but it’s also my vow of loyalty.” He gently grasped my upper arms, pulling me into his big body. His brow softened as he touched one hand to my thick waist. “To you and the babies. The four of you will always come first to me.”
Unconsciously, I leaned into his touch. “The next time you decide to gift me a dead body, I think pictures will be sufficient.”
He grinned. “I will definitely keep that in mind, mo chroí.”
“I’m beginning to see you have an overly dramatic flair to you, Mr. O’Farrell,” I said dryly. “You enjoy surprising people with the extremely unexpected.”
“Only when it comes to you, my beauty,” he murmured, lowering his head to touch his lips to the top of my head.
I savored his affection for a moment before pulling away, feeling guilty all over again for wanting his embrace, his warmth, his love when he very well could have killed my brothers. As I turned away, I heard his heavy exhale and knew I’d disappointed him.
“You said the doctor and his staff were coming today?” I reminded him.
“Yes, Brody should have already shown them into the great room.” He touched the small of my back as we left the office. “Do you like the house?” he asked when he saw me glancing up at a painting as we passed it.
“It’s beautiful.”
“That doesn’t tell me if you like it or not.”
I shrugged. “Under different circumstances, I’m sure I would have loved living here.”
Bain clenched his jaw but remained silent. By the tension in his shoulders, I could tell he was angry, but I’d only given him the truth. There had already been enough lies between us for me to add more now. If we were going to pull off the whole co-parenting thing without killing each other, we had to be one-hundred-percent honest with each other, even about the little things.
For the next two hours, we sat in the great room discussing the care plan for the rest of my pregnancy. My doctor was a woman, just like the midwife and the NP were, which didn’t surprise me with how possessive Bain tended to be. They were all surprised by my extensive knowledge until I explained my career choice and where I’d worked the last few years.
Dr. Rose considered that I knew both the good and bad things to expect, a blessing and a curse at the same time. Just how complicated the situation was with any or all of the babies was something I worried about on an hourly basis, not just randomly throughout the day. At times, I’d sat in the darkness of my room back at the compound, silently freaking out about what could go wrong. Which could only lead to complications of its own. Something I was all too aware of as well but was helpless to stop myself from doing.
After a full exam, Dr. Rose and her staff left, assuring me I was doing beautifully and that they would be back the following week. She wanted me to come in for an ultrasound soon, but for now, everything was going better than she thought it would be, considering how adamant Bain had been about taking the utmost care of the babies and me.
She’d laughed as she and her staff stood to go. “With how desperate Mr. Kennedy’s associate made everything sound, I was expecting to find you barely able to move for risk of miscarrying. I’m glad to see it was just a typical man overreacting.”
Throughout the entire visit, Bain had been very vocal, asking question upon question, making sure every base was covered. Including if we could have sex or not. But when Dr. Rose had said she thought it would be safest if we forwent penetrative intercourse, I’d expected him to have been disappointed. Instead, he’d been understanding, maybe even relieved.
I was more disappointed than he was, and that pissed me off.
It wasn’t like I was going to sleep with him. No way. He shot my brothers, damn it.
And I was disappointed—no, I assured myself, I was mad—because apparently, he didn’t want to have sex with me. The way he looked at me must be all for show, to make me think he wanted me, but really, he probably couldn’t stomach the thought of seeing me naked. With my big belly, wider hips, and the burns that were going to leave scars, I was anything but sexy to him. The relief that flashed in his eyes had been hard to miss.
I wasn’t disappointed.
