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I drain the rest of my beer. “Because tonight, I’m the one with super-human strength. And I told you I’m on the wagon.”

“Whew,” she says, fanning her face, “good for you, but can you imagine the role play with that one?”

“My va-gina has, my friend,” I say, turning back in his direction to see he’s still watching me. A slow grin spreads over his mouth when I’m busted displaying clear remorse.

“Your who?”

“No one, Lort, girl, help me get out of chere.”

She giggles, grabbing me by the arm to lead me away and then stops turning back to me, her face lightening up with recognition. “Oh, I get it now, you’re Betty White!”

When we find our boys, I slow my walk when I see Theo talking to a brunette who seems comfortable with him as Lindsey sidles up with Zach and greets him with a kiss.

“That robe is doing weird shit to me,” Zach murmurs into her hair, and she laughs. The girl chatting Theo up places a hand on his chest as I stand awkwardly to the side of him. After a few uncomfortable minutes, I move to pace the party but am stopped by his hand tugging on my muumuu, pulling me back toward him. Dark brown eyes briefly meet mine.

He’s asking me to stay. So, I do.

We both leave the party solo a while later, shivering before he cranks up the heat in the cabin. The drive home is filled with an odd silence which, of course, I’m forced to break.

“So, who was that girl?”

“One of the girls I’ve made breakfast for.”

“Huh?”

“When my roommates have a sleepover, I usually end up making the girls breakfast.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess I feel bad for them.”

“They aren’t victims, you know?”

“I know, but I can’t help but think they deserve better.”

“They do, but they have to figure it out for themselves. And she was looking at you like she wanted a repeat, but not with your roommate.”

“That’s not my style,” he says passively.

“I know.”

“I just remember how hard my sisters took it when they got their hearts smashed. I don’t want to be the guy who does that to any woman, you know?”

“You really are a good egg, Theo. Stay that way.”

“I’ll try.”

More silence.

“Well, you’ll be proud to know I was tempted tonight by the devil himself and passed with flying colors.”

“Oh yeah?” he says, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Yes. And I Kung Fu’d that shit like a boss.”

“Proud of you,” he says, pulling up to my house.

“Okay, what gives?”

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