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I kept my days full with work and making money. That was what I did. It was oddly comforting. I still hadn’t heard a word from Amber since Cedric had made the call giving her the option of contacting me. I wondered how I would respond if I found out she wanted anything to do with me. How she could possibly fit into my life? I could have called myself. I should’ve called myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was a coward in that sense.
And when it came to her, I felt unimaginable guilt.
Sipping on a tumbler filled with the whiskey Daniello had left me, I sat on my patio overlooking the marsh. I’d been so immersed in my past lately that I’d been remembering more and more.
I thought about the first time I’d met Ray and the night that changed my future. My prince didn’t come along and save me. He was no white knight, but a benefactor with the right amount of money to buy me at the right price. I’d sold my soul to him for privilege. I’d lied to every soul I knew about my departure from Dyer, including Laz. It was my biggest skeleton and my most well-hidden secret.
I’d been someone’s whore in exchange for my education.
In my world, there were no saviors aching to find an under-privileged girl and make her dreams come true. There were no miracle scholarships to Ivy League colleges, regardless of my high school GPA. I’d made strides from the age of eight to keep perfect grades at school. I’d never been encouraged by my parents or even acknowledged for my collection of A’s. I did it for me in hopes of leaving town for college one day, no matter where it may be.
I read each book on the summer reading list twice. I read materials beyond my comprehension level and studied them over and over again until I understood them. I spent the time in Laz’s absence at the public library, which was actually a broken down corner of a vacant shopping center. It seemed no one in Dyer had cared about the future of their youth and the library had a ridiculously limited selection. I’d jumped at every chance to accompany my father on his rare trips to Memphis to get a glimpse of life outside of Dyer. More than once I’d kept my hand on the door handle with the itch to escape, to step out of his truck, put one foot in front of the other and never look back. Thoughts of Amber and her future always kept me planted to the seat and obedient when I returned. I began to resent Amber for my predicament. I knew as soon as I was on my own I would find a way. I’d never doubted my ability to take care of myself. It was always the guilt of my mother’s cruelty that weighed me down. Amber would suffer if I left, more than she ever had.
On my seventeenth birthday, someone had heard my prayers because Lucy Hardin had talked her father into taking us to Memphis for dinner. She’d approached me when Laz was sent away and told me she had meant for us to be friends. I had no one at the time, so I went along with every detail of our “friendship.” In a twist of sick fate, I had no idea while she was applying a heavy coat of makeup on me that I would be meeting opportunity that very night that would make me both villain and victor.
It turned out Lucy’s father had only agreed to take us with him in order to meet a business partner. Lucy’s family was the wealthiest in Dyer. All too often, I found myself resentful of it. I spoke with Lucy as I devoured my salad and steak and then chose the biggest dessert available. All the while I caught the man eyeing me with a smile as he spoke to Lucy’s father.
“Who is that man?” I questioned Lucy as I tore through my food, moaning in appreciation.
“Just one of Daddy’s business partners.”
“He’s staring at me.”
Lucy threw a linen napkin in my lap. “Because you have chocolate all over your face.”
In the middle of dessert, I found myself alone at the table with Ray.
“Happy birthday,” he said in a dry tone as I licked the chocolate off my spoon.
“Thanks,” I said, completely immersed in chocolate that was no longer on my cutlery.
Ray leaned forward. “Look at me when I talk to you.” I stiffened at his tone. It was the same tone my mother used when I expected the worst. Setting down my spoon, I turned to face him.
Ray wasn’t as old as Lucy’s father. In fact, he was much younger. He had big blue eyes that reminded me of Laz. He was well dressed and reeked of money, which was easy to spot when you had none.
“You live in Dyer?”
“Yep,” I said, quickly averting my eyes to see if Lucy and her father were on thei
r way back.
“Yes, sir,” he corrected.
“Yes, sir,” I agreed. “And I’m getting out as soon as I can.” I didn’t know where the words came from, but I decided to widen my lie. “I’m going to Harvard.”
His laugh was both cruel and amused.
My cheeks flushed as he reminded me who I was.
“Do you have any idea how much it costs to attend a school like Harvard?” He crossed his arms over his suit jacket and tie as he stared at me expectantly.
“Hundreds of thousands,” I answered with dread, waiting for the inevitable.
“And you’ll need prep school. Good grades aren’t enough, and even with the right breeding there is no guarantee you will get in.” He cleared his throat, demanding my eyes again as I looked at him. He wasn’t a bad looking man. In fact, he had a nicely cut face and full lips. For a flash, I saw him recognize that I was assessing his looks and he smirked. “You are aware of all this?”
“Yes, sir,” I smarted with pure contempt.
“Good, quick learner. You seem sharp. You could manage a state school.” It was a crack. No matter how subtle, it was a gavel decision he’d made about my future that I had no say in. I dug my heels in.
