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“Yeah, I heard you. I just—” she cut off as if the words had gotten wedged in her throat. “Oh my god. Oh. Wow. Are you…is it? Is it Matt’s?”
I nodded, pressing my lips together to keep the words in. Regret, fear, anger.
“Holy shit.” She let go of my arm and gripped her head again. “How did this happen? I mean, spare me the gross details, but how? I mean, didn’t you guys, you know, use protection?” She shuddered at the thought of us together.
It only made me feel worse. “Of course we did,” I said. “I’m not a total idiot. But it didn’t matter, did it? Now this has happened, and I’m sorry I called you, but I don’t know what the fuck to do.”
“This is…I don’t want to say bad, but damn, Summer, this was the last thing I expected.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I felt so, so bad about the way I acted. I wanted you to know that. I wish you had been at the wedding, and I was an idiot to be so mean and ask you to leave like that. I just couldn’t stand the thought of everything being ruined. But I went ahead and ruined it anyway.”
“No, that’s not true.”
“It is. I told you to leave, and I shouldn’t have. Look, Summer, I love my brother with all my heart, but I know what he’s like. He hasn’t once settled down with anyone, and I don’t think he ever will. And that’s what makes this even more heartbreaking. You’re losing everything now because of him.”
It was hardly the pep talk I’d hoped for. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I’d been hoping for when I’d called her. Just an ear or a shoulder.
“When I asked you to leave, it was because I wanted you two to be apart from each other and that was so friggin’ wrong of me,” Emilia continued. “I’m an asshole. I don’t want you to get hurt, and I don’t want our weird family dynamic to change, but what the hell. What the hell. You’re pregnant. You’re actually pregnant.”
“Yeah.”
“You can’t stay away from Matt now. You have to tell him.”
I inhaled sharply. “I know. I tried calling him a while back, and he never got back to me.”
“He didn’t?” Emilia asked. “That’s not my doing. I don’t think there’s anything I can say to Matt that will change his mind when it’s made up. He’s his own man.”
“I know,” I said. “He doesn’t want to talk to me. We agreed we wouldn’t when we got back to the States, and he’s sticking to that. So I guess that’s fine.”
“Except it’s not anymore, is it?” Emilia patted me on the arm. “Look, I still don’t want you and Matt to hurt each other, but obviously you’ll have to see more of each other now that this kid is on the way. You’ll have to talk. And I know my brother will be good about it.”
“I don’t know anything anymore,” I said. “I don’t even know what to think.”
“It’s going to be OK, Summer. I promise.”
We weren’t exactly besties right now, but this helped. She hugged me and rubbed my back. I leaned into the embrace. For the past four weeks, I’d been alone. The urge to cry was almost overwhelming, but I held it back.
Somehow, I’d work this out. I didn’t know how, but I would.
For the baby. And for myself.
“If you want to cry, just let it out.” Emilia rubbed my back some more. “I’m here for you.”
The tears came at last, and I let go.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Matt
Four weeks had passed since the wedding, and goddamn, my concentration was at an all-time low. I’d had to really be present and focused for several meetings, and it had been a challenge. My mind kept wandering back to the wedding, to the time before it, and to Summer.
She’d consumed my thoughts ever since.
None of the fallout from Cruz—the newspaper articles, the cops interviewing me about potential contacts he might have had, or even the threat of corporate espionage—had gotten through to me.
It was like she’d planted herself in my brain.
Fuck.
She’d tried getting hold of me once, and I’d let it slide, even though it had practically killed me. Bottom line here, was that we could never be together. Not just because of Emmy’s upset and strange behavior, but because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing someone again.
And knowing me, I would definitely lose her.
Getting over her once had been hard enough. The army had helped me with that, barely. Now was different. I had a security company to distract me and nothing else. And even that hadn’t been enough so far.
I tapped my fingertips on the desk, my gaze drawn to the window rather than my computer screen.
Stop it, asshole.
