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That’s the reason I had tried to pay it off. It affected not only Rain’s property but potentially mine, as well. A proper title research would have turned it up in the records, but since it was a private transaction between the two of us, we had never done an official title transfer. I hadn’t wanted the loan Rain’s grandmother took out to help me to be the cause of her losing this place or missing out on her dream of a mobile vet clinic.
Now, lying here, looking up at the sky, I wondered why Rain had not yet noticed this section of the property was missing from her tract. Perhaps she hadn’t gotten the final paperwork back yet, or maybe she just hadn’t looked at it. Either way, she wasn’t going to be happy about it, and I’d probably just deed it back to her and move on, somewhere away from Muskrat Creek where she didn’t have to see me all the time, far enough that I couldn’t hurt so much each time I saw her. If she was mad at me for trying to help her, she was going to be mad that I hadn’t told her about this before she found out on her own.
It was my fault. I hadn’t explained things clearly enough. I should have tried harder to make her understand why I had done the things I did to help her, that it went beyond just guaranteeing the loan. If she had understood that the situation affected both of us, would it have made a difference? I didn’t know, and I might never know if I couldn’t get her to talk to me. Lying there on the dock was soothing. I hadn’t drank a drop since I got out to the cabin, and though the desire to do something to relieve the pain I felt had been tremendous, I hadn’t done anything worse either.
Still, being here was lonely. I used to come here for comfort when I was low. In my days after coming back to Muskrat Creek after my stint in jail and the rehab they offered me as a part of my rehabilitation, I had struggled to stay clean. Keeping busy working on this place, the memories I had of being here with Rain, and sheer determination to be a better person had kept me sane. It had the same effect all these years later, at least for a short time. Now, I was beginning to get a bit stir-crazy, and though I still didn’t know exactly what I would say to Rain, I knew I was ready to try and talk to her again. I had to fix this. I loved her too much to just let her go. How I could have even considered leaving here or her was beyond me.
Standing up, I gathered the fishing pole that lay beside me. I had intended to fish when I came out here, but I never bothered to even cast the line before stretching out like a cat in the sun. I found myself wishing I had brought Atticus and Scout to keep me company. I had just wanted some responsibility-free time to gather my thoughts. Now, it was time to go get them and go home to face whatever came my way.
When I got to Dad’s a short time later, I found him getting ready to go out to the annual tractor pull, something I found to be a real snoozefest. Everyone knew it was much more fun to drive a tractor and do stupid stuff in it than it was to watch them muck around in the mud. So, I turned down his offer to join him.
“Did Rain find you?” he asked.
“I didn’t know she was looking for me,” I said, feeling an odd sense of hope and dread.
“She is. You might want to go see her.”
“Why?”
“Because you love her, and you’re unhappy. That’s why,” he replied, matter-of-factly.
“I will.”
“Good. If you get bored, come catch up with me at the tractor pull. I’ll buy you a hot dog like the old days.”
“Tractor pull hot dogs. Food of the gods,” I laughed as I headed toward the car with the cats.
I wasted no time in dropping them off at the house and getting them settled before showering and changing to see if I could find Rain. There was no sign of her at home, though I did stop to admire the metamorphosis of the former ice cream truck into a simple white van with a round logo that incorporated the heads of a cow, a horse, and a pig in alternating shades of black and gray. “Muskrat Creek Mobile Farm Services” circled the logo with a phone number below.
I smiled. Even if she was angry with me, at least she’d seen this through and gotten things set up. She was on her way, with or without me. I made some calls looking for her, but either got no answer or they hadn’t seen her. Finally, I decided to go to the tractor pull to meet up with Dad. If I got lucky, she’d be there. At worst, it would keep me from going stir-crazy at home and, of course, there was that free hot dog to look forward to.
