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He sounded so earnest, and serious, that my heart felt like it was breaking just looking at him. God, I wanted to believe him. I wanted him to want me, and only me. I wanted to be with him so badly. It scared me, how much I wanted it, and it made me want to retreat back into my shell, to put up my walls and tell him no fucking way.
But Pike was right. I didn’t know, really know, until I actually gave him a shot. There was the possibility that things went badly and he hurt me, but there was an equal possibility that he was all that I’d hoped he would be. That we were happy and that this turned into something that lasted.
I took a deep breath. “All right. Let’s do it. Let’s give this a shot.”
Pike’s smile was a blur as he leaned in and kissed me, the press of his lips euphoric.
“But—we need—” I tried to speak in between him kissing me. “There is the Morgan-shaped elephant in the room.”
Pike’s expression darkened slightly, then relaxed. “We’ll deal with Morgan. It’s not his relationship, it’s ours, and it’s our choice.”
I nodded, feeling myself relax as well in the face of Pike’s conviction. He was right. It was our choice, our relationship, not Morgan’s. We’d figure it out. “Okay,” I told him.
Pike grinned at me. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
Pike kissed me again, softly, smiling almost too wide to make it work, and that—that gave me hope that this could be real.
21
Pike
It was a week later that we got to have our first date in public. Nothing fancy, just lunch in a diner downtown, but it was still out in public, the two of us being together, and that was what mattered to me. My heart was racing oddly as I sat down at the booth, waiting for Billie to show up. I was already in downtown since I’d met with a financial advisor, and while that was weighing on my mind, I knew that wasn’t the reason that I was suddenly so nervous.
For all of my reassurances and bravado, I was nervous about this, about what people would say. I didn’t give a shit what they said about me, but what would they say about Billie? She clearly cared about what her brother thought, and what the town in general thought, and I wanted her to only have good experiences. I didn’t want stupid gossip to drive us apart.
Of course, downtown, we were less likely to be spotted by someone we knew. And it was just for lunch, we could be meeting just as friends. I was more nervous than I’d been on my first date with a girl, when I was fourteen and had no fucking clue what I was doing. I kept finding myself wondering if Billie had changed her mind, if she was going to back out and decide that I wasn’t worth any kind of risk.
Just like the financial advisor.
But Billie slid into the booth right on time, looking adorable as fuck in her warm leggings, sweater dress, and matching wool hat. It was cold as fuck outside now, and only going to get colder. We might actually get a white Christmas this year, which sure would be something.
“Well?” Billie asked, her eyes lit up. “How did it go? What did he say?”
I’d taken her downstairs to the garage the other night when she’d snuck over and I’d shown her all of what I was planning for it. How I would expand it a little using the backlot and how I’d upgrade some of the equipment. She’d been so supportive, grinning at me with shining eyes, telling me that of course I could pull it off. You were in this garage all day, she’d told me. It was the only place we could find you besides my house. Nobody loves it more than you do.
I cleared my throat. “Well. The thing is, I saved up some money from the military, and I tried to be smart about it. I like to think that it’s a pretty fair sum. But even with all that—I’ve only got about half of what I’d need to cover the investment.”
“Surely you could get a loan?”
“With no credit history?” I shook my head. “Nah, forget about it. I didn’t have a credit card or anything before I went into the military and then after that—I just didn’t get one. Why would I need it? The military provided everything. And so now…” I shrugged. “Thing is I never really thought about the financial side of things. Morgan and I—you might’ve eavesdropped on us and heard us planning this—we were always going to go into a garage together. Not Jones’, I don’t think, you know how when you’re a teenager and you expect someone to be around forever?”
