AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Feeling a bit wooden, I got up and walked into his office. It was actually unlocked for once, and for a moment I was reminded of how happy I had been every time I’d entered.
Had that really been less than two weeks ago? It seemed like longer.
“Bev,” Fitz said, drawing my attention to where he was sitting behind that massive desk of his. He looked so deathly serious that I felt a chill. Even angry, even disappointed, it seemed like my body couldn’t help but react to him. “Sit.”
Ouch. Not a question. Not even a full sentence. But nevertheless, I sat in one of the seats in front of his desk.
Well, it was very obvious that my head was about to be served to me on a platter, but I could at least try to let him know that I hadn’t meant to expose him like that. It was too late to save me, of course, but I just wanted him to know that he could trust someone, even if they weren’t me.
“Look, I’m sorry I-”
“Why?”
His voice was a low growl as he interrupted me, and I just blinked at him in surprise for a moment.
“What?”
“Why did you do what you did?”
“I was angry.”
He continued to stare at me and I knew that he was expecting more than a cursory answer. That he could see right through my cover of rage and wanted something real.
Dammit.
I had been planning on just apologizing. Admitting I was wrong and that I wasn’t thinking. That I had been blinded by anger. But I hadn’t counted on having to say why I was angry. Or why his rejection of me had burned so hotly.
“I have a kind of bad temper.” I admitted, not wanting to say anything else. Couldn’t I just have my graceful exit? One where I said sorry, asked for forgiveness and walked out of the doors knowing I had ruined everything?
“So that was why you burst into the theater event? Because you were mad, and you wanted to hurt me?”
“Yes,” I said flatly, willing for him to see me as the villain if he just stopped looking at me like he was seeing through to my soul. But I always was a shit liar. “No. I mean, yes I was angry and I wanted to force you to talk to me, to see me, but I didn’t want to…”
“Leak my private life to everyone nearby?”
“Yes,” I answered, cheeks burning. “That. And I’m sorry. I really am. I never, never wanted to betray your trust like that. I was just… hurting so badly and I guessed I thought if I made you acknowledge me that maybe it wouldn’t ache so badly that you were able to drop me without so much as a goodbye.”
Oh.
I had said too much. I looked at him with big eyes, the situation having not gone any of the ways that I had planned.
“I hurt you.” Was it a question? A statement? I didn’t know. But the feelings and the words were rolling up in earnest and I couldn’t stop them.
“Of course, you hurt me! I was stupid and got feelings for you like some dumb virgin and I let myself get a little crazy. And I’m sorry. I was stupid. I’m sorry for violating the NDA, I just… I thought at least we were friends, and I thought I would be okay with that. I realize now that I was wrong, sorry if it’s too little too late.”
“What kind of feelings?”
How could he stare at me so calmly? His face an impervious mask that looked like he was just talking mergers instead of my broken heart. I admired it the same that I hated it. When had I gotten so sentimental? When had I let this man into my heart that I usually prided myself on keeping so guarded? I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but I found myself wishing that I had resisted all of his charm.
But for some reason, I kept answering. “You know, world inverting, amazing feeling. The type of feelings that make you smile when you first put your feet to the floor after waking up. The kinds that make you feel warm and happy and content. The type of feelings that I always thought were utter bullshit, but whenever I look at you, I realize how unerringly wrong I was.
“Feelings, feelings, Fitz. And I know it’s stupid and moronic, but that’s just where I am.”
I couldn’t say exactly what I was expecting. Maybe for him to tell me I was pathetic. Maybe to kick me out. But nowhere on my list was him slowly grinning at me while reaching into his desk.
I stared, wide eyed and confused as he pulled out a familiar contract. Without a word, he ripped it apart in front of me, paper flying everywhere.
