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ARIA
We’d been living in the new house for a few weeks, and we had yet to have a family dinner here. Mom and Sal had been too busy finishing the decor and organizing everything to do with the new diner and new house, so I’d barely seen them.
I wished I could say it was a change, but it wasn’t. The only difference was the family dinners not happening. But as I walked into the house, the smell of a pot roast drifted toward me, and my stomach growled.
“Aria? Is that you?” Mom called.
“Yeah!” I placed my bag at the bottom of the stairs and ambled through the living room and the into kitchen adjoining it. “What are you doing?” I asked Mom.
She spun around, and I widened my eyes at her. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks flushed, and she had…
Was that flour on her apron? And why the heck was she wearing an apron?
“I’m cooking family dinner,” Mom said as if it were obvious. And when I glanced around, I saw that it was obvious, but the last time she’d cooked, she’d burn everything to a crisp and Sal had told her she had a skill for cremating things.
“Should you really be trying to cook?” I asked her with raised brows, silently reminding her of the last time.
“Hey!” She pointed the spatula at me. “This is going to be delicious, and if it’s not, then you and Sal will still eat it. Okay?”
I held my hands up in surrender, a smile flashing on my face. “Okay.” Simply having her home was enough to make me feel less alone.
We hadn’t really spoken since we’d moved out of the apartment other than the usual good mornings and good nights when we saw each other in passing. But now we were having an actual conversation, and it felt good.
Until she said, “Why are you home so early?”
And just like that, the smile dropped from my face. I backed away a step. “Cade canceled practice. Something about him needing to attend a meeting.”
“Oh.” Mom frowned and started to turn back to the stove but then paused. “Do you call him Cade at school?”
“No.” I pushed up onto one of the breakfast stools lining the counter. “I call him Mr. Easton or Coach. Why?”
Mom shrugged and finally turned completely back to the stove. “Just wondered. You two seem to have gotten really close lately.”
My breath stalled in my chest, my throat burning at what she was saying. “No more than we used to be,” I told her, my voice breaking. I was trying to keep up pretenses, but I was afraid she’d see through all my cracks. Keeping a secret had never been tough for me, but this one was getting harder and harder the more time went on.
“Right,” Mom said, but she didn’t look at me. She kept her focus on what was in front of her. “How has school been this week after…” She trailed off, but I knew what she was asking: after I got suspended. I wasn’t really sure how she felt about what had happened with Jasmine, but that was the crux of it all. She pushed things down and hid things, exactly like I did. I’d learned from the best, and I’d perfected it.
“Good,” I said as the front door opened and closed. Footsteps pounded through the house, and then Sal walked into the kitchen, his eyes narrowed on Mom.
“Are you cooking, Jan?” he asked in his gruff voice and halted near me at the counter. His gaze slid to mine, silent concern echoing in his eyes. We both knew what a disaster Mom was in the kitchen.
“I am.” She twirled around, her lips flashing him a bright smile. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her smile like that. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled like that. I didn’t take my eyes off them as they continued to talk, but I wasn’t really listening, I was watching them. Each one of their movements, each spark of their eyes, each smile. Was that how Cade and I had looked at each other before everything exploded in our faces? Did he stare at me like Sal was at my mom right now?
My stomach dropped, and my hands started to shake. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be looked at like that again—not now, not after everything that had happened. I wouldn’t be stared at like I was the only person in the room. I wouldn’t be held like I was a precious diamond.
I was too broken, and all anyone would want to do was fix me. Cade hadn’t, though. He hadn’t wanted to mend a single piece of me, he’d just…promised to be there. But now he couldn’t be. I’d put a stop to it the second I took the blame for the kiss in his classroom.
“Ri?” Sal’s gruff voice pushed through my thoughts, and I blinked. How many times had he called my name? I glanced up at him and realized both he and Mom were staring at me. “You okay, Ri?” he asked, a frown marring his brow. He was concerned, and I wasn’t surprised. I’d let loose the day we’d moved here. I’d exposed pieces of myself I’d never be able to get back, but I’d do what I always did—pretend I hadn’t done it.
“Yeah.” I pushed off the stool. “I was just thinking about a paper I have to write.”
Sal tilted his head. He was trying to analyze me, but it wouldn’t work. My wall was steel enforced and impossible to get by.
“Can you set the table, honey?” Mom asked. “Dinner is almost ready.” I glanced at her. She knew I was lying—only liars could spot liars—but she wouldn’t say anything. She never said anything. I wasn’t sure what was worse: having her not confront me because she didn’t want to bring the past up, or having her stay silent when I was falling apart inside.
There was nothing I could do about it now, though. It was how we were. I walked across the kitchen and collected everything I needed to set the table: cutlery, placemats, glasses, water. The task consumed me, taking all of my attention and letting me forget about everything else going on around me.
By the time the table was set, Mom was dishing up our dinner, and then we were all sitting around it for the first time as a family. Sal and Mom continued to talk as I dug into the food. It wasn’t bad considering Mom had cooked it, but I thought anything would have tasted good since I’d forgotten to eat lunch.
