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“I didn’t want to kill myself,” I blurted out. A tear rolled down my cheek. The pain was pouring out of me, and I didn’t want it back. I didn’t want to live my life the way I had. I didn’t want to resent Mom for being happy. I didn’t want to avoid Sal because I knew he was a better man than my own dad. And I didn’t want to push Cade away in case he got too close. “I just needed relief, and I…I lost control.”
“I get that,” Sal said, his eyes shadowed with darkness. He’d lived a rough life, one full of pain too, and I should have known he would understand me better than anyone else. I had no idea what he’d gone through growing up, but pain like ours knew each other without a word needing to be spoken.
“What happens now?” Mom asked, her gaze veering to Dr. Bay.
“You all need to take ownership of what you did wrong. You need to acknowledge it, and then all of you need to let it go. This needs to be a clean slate, one where support and love is the backbone of all of your relationships.”
The silence stretched inside the small room, and I realized no one wanted to go first. But we were here because of what I’d done, so it only made sense for me to go first.
“I should have asked for help.” I looked at Mom and Sal, then finally Cade. “I should have trusted you all enough to come to you with my pain. I should have been more vocal.”
“I should have paid more attention,” Sal said. “I should have known something wasn’t right when we moved into the house, but…I ignored it.”
Mom cleared her throat, her gaze meeting mine as she whispered, “I should have been a better mother.” I opened my mouth, about to tell her she’d been the best mom she could have been at a time where nothing was certain in our lives, but she didn’t give me the chance. “You’re my baby, Aria. I think deep down, I knew you weren’t okay, but the older you got, and the more time that passed, I had no idea how to approach it with you. You’ve grown into one of the strongest women I know, and I’d like to get to know her. I’d like the opportunity to be the mother to you I should have always been.”
“I’d like that.” I smiled, the first genuine smile I’d had in days. I’d been covered by clouds of darkness, and now they were drifting apart, allowing the sun to shine through and give me hope for the future.
“I want to apologize,” Cade said, sitting up straighter. I frowned at him, but he wasn’t looking at me, his attention was focused on Mom and Sal. “I should have come to you that first day. I knew when I saw the scars I should have reported it, but…” He heaved a breath. “I thought I was protecting Aria. And then things kind of snowballed, and I got a little lost. I got angry at you for not being there, but I wasn’t thinking about the fact that Aria had pushed you away too.” He swallowed, and the room was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop. “I love your daughter, more than anything else in this world, and I know I need to show you both I can be trusted with her. I intend to prove it every single day.”
“I don’t doubt you love her, son,” Sal said, his lips quirking at the corners. “For anyone to go at Jan the way you did in that waiting room tells me that much. Fuck, even I wouldn’t answer her back like that.” He chuckled, and Mom couldn’t stop the small smile and eye roll she gave him.
“I wanted to show you all how serious I am,” Cade continued. “Which is why I quit my job this morning.”
My eyes widened. “You did what?” My mouth was open in shock, and I couldn’t quite believe the words coming out of his mouth.
He turned to face me, his hands drifting up to the sides of my face as he stared into my eyes. “I quit. We’re in the open with nothing to stop us. Nothing else compares to you, baby. I’d climb the highest mountain in the goddamn world if it meant I could spend five minutes with you.” He leaned his forehead against mine, and this time, a tear absent of pain but filled with happiness rolled down my cheek. “I love you, so damn much. Today is the first day.”
“The first day of what?” I asked, my voice a broken whisper.
“Of the rest of our lives, baby.” He pressed his lips to mine—a simple, closed-mouth kiss, but it was everything. It sealed the promise he’d made, one that I had no doubt he would keep forever.
Epilogue
ARIA
“Aria Sayer.”
I lifted my robe and took the steps slowly. My stomach dipped with nerves as I floated across the stage and accepted my high school diploma. Cheers rang out, but I couldn’t look out into the crowd—not yet anyway. There were so many people here, sitting in the chairs which lined the field, but there was only one person I wanted to see. Cade.
I wrapped my hand around my diploma and looked into the crowd. A row of people was standing, but they weren’t just any people—they were my people. Uncle Brody, Lola, Belle, and Asher were the first I spotted, and then Ford, but it was Cade sitting next to Mom and Sal I zoned in on.
Since the first meeting in the inpatient unit, we’d started having the sessions once every two weeks as a family. It had taken Mom a couple of months to come around fully to the idea of Cade and me being together, but she’d gotten there eventually, and now we were a real family.
I’d wanted to move into Cade’s house when I’d been discharged out of the unit, but he’d told me he thought I should stay at home until the school year was up, and I was sure that was the first thing Mom approved of. He’d been right in his suggestion because Mom and I were now closer than ever. We hadn’t rebuilt the relationship we had, we’d simply created a new one. One where we talked openly about the past. One where we remembered the happier times and laughed at some of the weird things Dad did.
I smiled over at all three of them, feeling my eyes burning with tears. We were a family—a real one which I didn’t want to escape from. Mom waved like crazy as I walked across the stage and down the steps and right into Hope’s arms.
“Can you believe this?” she screamed into my ear. “We’re high school graduates!”
“I know!” I hugged her harder than I ever had. We only had today, and then she was off on tour with her boyfriend’s band for the summer, but luckily, she was going to attend the local college, which would mean I’d see her all the time.
Once I’d got
ten home from the hospital, I’d seen the envelope stamped with Shire Oaks College on the front and tore it open. They’d offered me a full-ride scholarship, and even though it was my dream to go there and turn my running into something more than I ever thought it could be, I had hesitated. I didn’t want Cade and me to be in the same position as we’d been in the last school year, but he’d told me he wasn’t coaching the track athletes, so we’d be fine.
I let Hope go and grinned at her. She was my best friend, and even though I’d also pushed her away, she understood once I’d told her everything. This time I hadn’t left anything out. I’d told her every little detail, and she’d sat and listened to it all then hugged me for what felt like hours.
“I’m going to miss you,” I told her.
