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There are vintage movie posters attached to the fabric hanging down from the walls to make it look like a real theater, and a long, skinny red carpet has been laid down on the floor—to create an aisle down the center of the room in between the rows of furniture—that he also lined with white Christmas lights to make it look like a real theater aisle. There are two old-fashioned popcorn machines against one wall that have been filling the room with the heavenly scent of freshly popped popcorn since I got here, with a stack of red-and-white-striped popcorn boxes sitting next to the machine for people to fill.
There’s even a cafeteria table along one wall covered in a red-and-black table cover, filled with every kind of movie theater candy you could imagine, from Sugar Babies to Butterfinger Bites, and Sour Patch Kids to Lemonheads, until it looks like a scene right out of Willy Wonka. And it’s not all tossed on top of the tables haphazardly either. Everything has been neatly arranged in baskets and containers, all of them matching the red, white, and black color scheme.
There are cute movie theater signs hung up all around that say things like Concessions, Turn off cellphones, and Shhh no talking during movie that are definitely a product of Dean’s Cricut lesson with Shepherd earlier today. There’s also a fully stocked bar cart in one corner of the room that Tess happily offered to bartend before the movie starts and during intermission, after Dean provided her with all the details about how I almost beat up a teenager.
It’s absolutely perfect and more than I ever could have imagined. And the best part—Birdie cried happy tears as soon as she walked in the door, after spending all morning crying awful, sad tears that this night would have to be cancelled.
The wedding guests have all filed in, grabbed some snacks and drinks, and now have all taken seats, waiting for Bridesmaids to start, the first of two wedding-themed movies that will be playing for them this evening.
“Jesus, will you look at that? Even my ovaries are quivering, and I don’t have ovaries. Wherever they are, you can be sure they’re quivering.”
I want to turn my head and shoot Karen a glare, but it is physically impossible to turn my eyes away from the scene unfolding on the other side of the aisle, on one of my couches in the last row.
“What is even happening to me right now?” I whisper, staring at Dean while he cradles Owen’s stupid fake baby to his chest, rocking it from side to side, patting its back, and explaining to Owen sitting next to him what he was doing wrong.
“Oh, that’s Puppy-Baby Syndrome,” Bodhi interjects, grabbing a box of Milk Duds off the table next to us. “When a woman sees a man holding a puppy or a baby, pheromones are released into her body, causing a chemical reaction that makes her want to mate with the man. Puppy-Baby Syndrome.”
“That’s not a real thing,” I mutter, even as my decaying ovaries start screaming in protest when Dean turns his body toward Owen and ever so gently places the now-quiet doll in Owen’s arms.
All I can think about now is this man holding Tess and Bodhi’s baby in a few months, and then Wren and Shepherd’s a few months after that. Cradling them against his chest, gently patting their tiny backs with his big hands, and making goofy faces at them to get them to smile. I can see it so clearly in my head that I have to swallow past a lump that’s suddenly formed in my throat.
“It happened to Tess when I took her for that Christmas getaway in West Virginia,” Bodhi says around a mouthful of chocolate and caramel candy. “She got the lady shivers when I held a baby. It’s okay, Laura; it’s totally natural. Just let the pheromones happen.”
I swat Bodhi’s hand away when he tries patting my back comfortingly. Thankfully, Birdie chooses that moment to join us, and I finally pull my purse off my shoulder, shoving my keys inside before tucking it under the candy table.
“It just hit me that after tomorrow, I won’t be a Bennett any longer, and now I’m sad.”
For fuck’s sake, does everyone want to make my life miserable right now?
Birdie leans her head on my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her waist, pretending like she didn’t just make me sad as hell too, realizing I’ll be the only remaining Bennett after Wren and Shepherd get married.
“You could just make Palmer take your last name like I did with Tess,” Bodhi suggests, now tearing into a box of Nerds.
“His name is his brand. That would be like telling Tiger Woods to change his last name.” Birdie sniffles, lifting her head from my shoulder.
“Okay, Miss Delusional.” Bodhi snorts. “Palmer is no Tiger Woods.”
“Oh bite me. You are literally the worst caddie ever,” she complains as Wren turns off the overhead lights from the switch on the other side of the room, blanketing the garage in darkness, aside from the pretty glow of the Christmas lights.
“I just had the best idea ever!” Birdie suddenly announces, her frown quickly turning into a huge smile. “Mom could marry Uncle Dean, and then she and I would share a last name. Oh my God, how perfect would that be?”
“Dude, excellent idea!” Bodhi leans around me, and the two share a high-five, while I’m suddenly having trouble breathing.
Shepherd turns on the projector sitting on a table at the end of the red carpet aisle, and everyone cheers and claps as the opening credits for Bridesmaids begin to roll, while I try not to have a panic attack. Because suddenly the idea of marriage doesn’t sound so horrible after all, and Laura Campbell does have a nice ring to it….
“Don’t you have a baby you’re supposed to also be paying attention to?” I complain in annoyance to Bodhi, quickly changing the subject before Birdie starts picking out bridesmaid dresses and I start doodling Dean’s name in a notebook like a child.
“Palmer took Shit Ass off my hands so I could grab a snack,” he informs me, quickly shoving three boxes of candy into the pockets of his shorts before Tess can see him and yell at him.
Birdie moves away from me when one of the guests waves her over from a few rows up, while I see Palmer rush over to the couch with Dean, flopping down on the other side of him. When I see he’s holding Bodhi’s fake baby upside down by its ankles, I quickly walk over there to rescue him.
“…gonna tell Laura later.”
I’m a few feet away from the back of the couch right when I hear Dean say my name to Palmer. My mouth opens to say something cheeky about them talking about me, but no sound comes out. I’m just going to blame it on the fact that this man has walked up behind me and heard me talking about him enough this week, and now it’s my turn.
“Where are you supposed to be going after this?” Palmer whispers back to Dean as the opening scene of the movie starts playing.
“Got a job for some college kid I have to finish and get to him in Denver,” Dean replies quietly, and my stomach starts to feel queasy.
