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I nodded because there was no point in lying. “To safeguard us both from confusion and hurt feelings.”
“No wonder he’s so miserable.”
“He got exactly what he wanted, so there’s no reason for anyone to be miserable.” Least of all him.
“No. My brother is a man built for a relationship. He’s too literal and too straightforward to succeed at something as complicated as friends with benefits.”
“Well, I don’t do secret relationships. I do, however, do secret sex liaisons.” I ignored the voice in my head that said if Chase was built for relationships, then maybe he just didn’t want one with me. “It’s fine Pippa. You don’t need to worry about this. Your brother and I are both adults and we know what we’re doing. And if one of us ends up hurt, that pain will heal.”
Her assessing gaze remained fixed on me for a long time, but instead of squirming under her scrutiny, I turned my attention to the adorable bundle of pink in my arms. She was small, soft and smelled so good, and only one thought ran through my mind.
I want this.
I wanted it desperately, and the more time I wasted with Chase, no matter how great that time was, the more I cheated myself out of a chance to have a baby, a family of my own someday.
“This won’t impact my wedding?”
“Nope. I am a total professional, and I am offended you even have to ask.”
Pippa’s shoulders fell. “I just want to be sure.”
“If you’re so worried about it, tell Chase he’s off the hook. I have what I need to finalize the last few details on my own.”
She shook her head. “If I do that, he’ll think I’m punishing him or taking your side over his.”
“There are no sides here, Pip. We just want different things. That’s all.” She stared at me, and I stared at her, neither of us willing to break the hold as if it was some kind of contest. A battle of wills that only ended when the doorbell rang. “Food,” I said and jumped up, accidentally jostling Ryanna.
“I’ll get it,” Pippa insisted and stood with a pointed glare for me. “While I do that, I want you to think about what you would tell me in this exact same situation.”
Pippa walked off and left me along with thoughts that wouldn’t stop, no matter how hard I tried to shut them down.
Chapter 20
Chase
My thoughts were all over the place, an unusual feeling for me, as I tried to focus on a proposal for a town hall makeover. A makeover, like this historic building was an overtired new mother instead of a piece of Carson Creek history. Did people really talk like that, using words like makeover for a building? I didn’t have the answer yet, even though I’d spent the past ten minutes thinking about the semantics rather than the proposal itself.
And this was all because of a woman who had scrambled my brain and my ability to think clearly.
“He’s not available right now, but I will be happy to pass along a message if you care to leave one.” CJ’s voice filtered through my muddled thoughts and I frowned. She was using that tone I told her I didn’t like, where she sounded like some hostess at a trendy restaurant, wielding what little power she had as my gatekeeper.
Except I didn’t play that game, not with anyone. If I had time, I indulged any citizen or interested business with a conversation. I wondered who had earned that tone, since I hadn’t heard the phone ring or the office door open and shut.
“No thanks,” Carlotta’s voice reached me, her tone almost amused. “I’ll just give him a call.”
“I said he’s unavailable,” CJ said with a bite to her words.
“Oh, I heard you honey,” she drawled in a sickly sweet tone. “And I told you that I will call Chase directly. You have a good day.”
She’s leaving.
I was out of my chair in a flash, pausing only briefly so I wouldn’t look as desperate to set eyes on Carlotta as I felt. Ready. I smoothed the fabric on the chest of my blazer and released a relaxing breath.
“Carlotta, this is a surprise. What brings you by?”
She smiled a little too brightly, but I didn’t imagine the heat in her eyes as she held up a stack of cards. “Invitation samples. You have time?”
“For you? Always.” I smiled and motioned her inside my office, stopping for a moment to glare at CJ. “We need to have a chat. Later,” I told her and closed my door, a clear indicator that now I did not want to be disturbed. I turned towards Carlotta and sighed. She was here, and she’d come on her own. Sure, it was to look at wedding invitations, but she was here. “So, wedding invitations?”
