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Ember had offered to come over after work, and Brooke had suggested staying with her to keep her company, but Ally had batted off their suggestions, telling them she was tired and wanted to sleep for a while.
It wasn’t really a lie. She was tired. Exhausted, even. But there was no way she was getting any sleep tonight.
“Nate?” she said breathlessly as she lifted the phone to her face. “Is Riley okay?” She missed the smell of him, the feel of his arms around hers. Missed everything feeling perfect… until it wasn’t. And didn’t that make her heart ache just a little bit more?
“She’s fine.” He sounded as drained as she felt. “She was sound asleep when I got to Kirsten’s place.”
She waited for him to say something about not calling earlier, but he was silent. “I’ve been worried,” she said, breaking the silence that hung between them. “When you didn’t call I started to think the worst.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t always call when you need me to.” There was an edge to his voice that made her breath catch in her throat. “I had to speak to the police and then to Kirsten and Riley. She’s my first priority.”
Ally licked her lips, trying to ignore the way his words made her feel. As though she was of no importance. Of course she wasn’t, not compared to his daughter.
Didn’t stop it from stinging though.
“But she’s okay?”
“I said she’s fine.”
Ally bit her lip. “Did you talk to her about…” she trailed off, the excruciating memory of Riley seeing them washing over her once again. “About us?”
“What about us?”
“About what she saw,” Ally said, keeping her voice as even as she could. “When she came home. Did you explain it to her?”
“What’s there to explain? She saw us naked. She freaked and ran away.” He cleared his throat. “So no, I didn’t try to make excuses or explain things away. There are no excuses.”
With every word he was building a wall between them. It was already so high she could barely see over it. The closeness of the past few days felt like something she’d only imagined.
But she hadn’t, had she? It was real, so real for the few days they were alone together. Before that, even. From the moment they’d met outside the coffee shop the connection had been there.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked him, still trying to work out why he sounded so mean. “I could talk to Riley, maybe?”
“You really think that’s a good idea? She saw you… us… together. It would only make the situation worse.”
Ally squeezed her eyes shut. For a moment she was a teenager again, listening to Marnie complaining that she’d used up all the hot water, that she’d eaten the last cookie, or anything else that made Ally look bad in front of her dad. Would she have wanted to talk to Marnie in the same position? Not at all. She couldn’t wait to see the back of her.
Maybe Nate was right. She’d only make it worse if she got involved with the situation. But she felt so damn impotent here, knowing Riley’s world was falling apart and it was her fault.
Or at least partially.
“I don’t know…” she said, covering her face with her hand. “I just want to make things better. Maybe if I found the right words she’d understand. I know this is my fault.”
“Can you quit making this all about you?” Nate sighed. “It’s been a long goddamned day and it’s a stupid time in the morning here. I just wanted to let you know she’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, I—” She tried to think of the right words but they scurried away, hiding in the depths of her mind. Of course he was tired and angry, she would be too in his position. Yes, he was being an asshole, but it was understandable.
He was exhausted, afraid and he had Riley to think about. He was like a tiger growling because he didn’t know what else to do.
“Christ.” He let out a long sigh. She imagined him pulling at his hair the way he sometimes did when he was out of patience.
“When are you coming back?” she asked him. Maybe if they talked about something different he would calm down. She hated to think of him so irate.
“I don’t know. Tomorrow maybe. Or the next day. I need a bit of time alone with Riley first.”
“I thought you were at your sister’s place.”
&n
