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SAGE
Sitting in my car, I stared at the apartment complex in front of me. After driving for hours, I was on the west side of the state. Still in Michigan, but far enough to feel a bit safer. Capac was the only place I had ever known. Anywhere else was scary and foreign. The decision to stay or leave Michigan tore me apart, but I decided I couldn’t be too far from my dad. He was all I had left.
Somehow, I ended up in Kalamazoo. It was a large college town, and I’d visited it a couple of times. It would be easy to blend in here, to act like just another college student. The road I was parked on was busy. The streets were lined with little shops and restaurants. Even though the fall semester hadn’t even started, there were lots of people my age here having fun shopping.
The outside of the complex was brown stone and was two stories. There were landscaped flowerbeds surrounding the entire building. I entered the office to see a woman sitting behind the desk. She was nicely dressed in a black pencil skirt with a white dressy top. Her brown hair was pulled back into a strict bun. She stood up when I walked in.
“Hi, I’m Cathy. Are you looking to rent, or have you already put down a deposit?” she asked while motioning to the empty seat.
I sat down. “Looking to rent, please.”
“You’re lucky you came when you did. By this time next week, with everyone returning for school, this place will be full. You’re starting classes next semester?”
I nodded. “Yes. I was just hoping for a one bedroom. I saw on the sign out front that you have furnished apartments and the lease is month to month? And does the rent include all the utilities?”
“Yes, I think we have one or two left. Will you be paying yourself or do you have the paperwork from the school to help with your housing?”
“I’ll be paying.”
“All right, well here’s the paperwork for you. Start filling it out.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek while she read the papers. It would be so easy for someone to trace a paper trail and find me.
“Is there any way I can just pay in cash without all the paperwork?” I asked hopefully.
Cathy raised her eyebrow and gave me a once-over.
“It’s just my boyfriend and I just broke up. And it wasn’t a good relationship. He abused me. I left him, and I don’t want him to find me. He has friends in law enforcement. I just want to find someplace where I can pay cash and lay low while I start classes. I can’t let him find me.” I could feel the tears start to fall but didn’t wipe them away. That lie wasn’t too far from the truth. I really did need to hide.
The suspicion fell from the lady’s face and was replaced with understanding.
“I have enough cash to pay for the first five months. I’ll give it all to you right now,” I continued quickly.
Cathy looked at me, her gaze filled with empathy. “Usually, we never let anyone rent without doing the paperwork. But I understand. I was in a relationship like that before too.”
I waited for her to continue as I held my breath. I was so tired. All I wanted was a place to crash and couldn’t imagine having to wait and find another place.
“All right. If you give me the money for the first five months, then we’ll forget the paperwork.”
“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.” I said, my voice nearly breaking.
“You’re welcome. But I’ll need a first name so I can put something down.”
I paused. “Susan.”
“Okay, Susan, here is your receipt for the first five months’ rent. If you need anything, please try to get a hold of me first, since technically there’s no paperwork. All right?”
I nodded and took the receipt. She handed me the keys and walked with me to show me where the apartment was. It was on the second floor, door number twenty.
“I really hope you find the peace you need while you’re here. Remember, if you need anything, just call,” Cathy told me softly before she walked away.
I watched as she walked away as suspicion tore through me. I felt like everyone was out to get me. But I needed a place to stay and to do that, I had to talk to people. Better to talk to only one person instead of many if I kept going somewhere new. I just hoped whoever I did talk to wasn’t connected to the society. Turning the key, I opened the door and looked at my new home.
The living room was small but homey. There was a small blue cloth couch in front of a TV. All the walls were a warm beige. On the other side of the couch was a sliding door that led to a tiny balcony. The kitchen had all the essentials, with a little countertop space left over. The dark brown cabinets lined above the counters had more space than I would need. Right near the door was a small round glass table with two wooden chairs pushed in. There was a short hallway with two doors. One was a small bathroom, and the other was a bedroom. The bedroom was big enough to fit a full-size bed, one dresser, and a small nightstand. All the furniture in there was white, and the room had the same beige walls as the rest of the place.
I threw my backpack and duffel bag onto the floor and crashed onto the bed. The second my face was pressed against the pillow, my sobs were uncontrollable. Both my body and mind were exhausted. Everything I had held in for the past two days exploded as I screamed into the pillow. I hit the mattress until my fists hurt. I cried for my sister. My mom. For Jamie. For my former life. Even for my relationship with Alex. After what seemed like hours, I had no more tears to shed. I fell into a troubled sleep and dreamed of what had happened up north.
The next morning, I woke up with red, puffy eyes. My throat was scratchy, and muscles I didn’t know I had hurt every time I moved. The hot water in the shower was almost scalding as I tried to wash away the last two days. After getting dressed and suppressing the anxiety about going out in public, I stepped out onto the busy sidewalk.
My hair was pulled back and put under a hat, and I slid on sunglasses. Even though I was completely covered up, my fear of being recognized was overwhelming. I walked two streets over, looking for a place to get some food. The street was bustling with families and kids, all finding places to eat lunch. I passed a pharmacy and stopped in to get a few things.
The next place I found was a small local grocery store. I bought enough food for a couple of days and headed back to the apartment. After putting the food away, I went into the bathroom. The brown paper bag from the pharmacy was in my hand, and I pulled out what I’d bought as my stomach twisted.
Semi-permanent hair dye. I sighed and got to work.
The image that stared at me from the mirror wasn’t recognizable. My once fiery hair was now a dull brown. The spark in my eyes was gone. Even when I smiled, it looked forced and sad. The hair dye would wash out in six weeks, and I’d dye it again. I couldn’t bring myself to make my red hair permanently disappear. It was a part of who I was. It made me feel closer to my mother, and now my sister too. I looked at my reflection and touched Lacey’s necklace. Jamie had died to make sure I got away. To get justice for Lacey and everyone else. But I had no idea how to do it. Right now, I didn’t even have the energy to think about it.
Situated on the small couch, I opened my laptop, and connected to the internet. Going onto the search engine, I typed in: house fire in Hiawatha National Forest. Only one news article popped up, and it was dated from an hour ago. My heart began to beat faster when he appeared on the screen. The sheriff. The man who was in the house, next to Eric. I turned up the volume and watched the news clip.
“Unfortunately, there was a fatal house fire. It is still under investigation. But it looks like it was an accident. Electrical wiring. This house was so old and hasn’t been updated; it’s a wonder it lasted this long. Sadly, there were two fatalities. Both families have been notified. Jamie Martinez and Lacey Taylor were staying a night here while on vacation. They were upstairs and unable to get out before the smoke consumed the house…”
I waited for more, but that was it. No mention of me. Or of the other men who were in the fire. I wondered if Alex and the twins were in the house when it started burning. I replayed the clip. They called it an accident. They covered it up. It was that easy. Maybe leaving the state was the best bet. But from what Niko had said, they had people everywhere. Nowhere was safe.
I logged in to my social media and saw it had already exploded with people offering condolences for my sister. Without even reading them, I made a quick post stating that I needed a break from online life and then closed the laptop. Nobody would miss me. I didn’t have any close friends. Lacey and Alex were pretty much the only people I saw. And now they were both gone. I covered my face and blew out a long breath. Crying wasn’t going to make anything better.
