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SAGE
I’d been walking on eggshells ever since Niko took the paper. Every day, I waited for the bomb to drop that he had told Alex that I had it this entire time. But it never happened. Alex went back to acting like everything was normal, never bringing it up again. Geo hadn’t come back, and for that, I was grateful. He had scared the hell out of me when his hand went around my neck.
And Niko…ever since that night, he’d been distant. He was with me all damn day, but he really wasn’t here. He didn’t interact with me unless I spoke first. And as much as I hated myself for even thinking about it, I missed our heated arguments. It was better than living in silence. The first week, I hadn’t really cared since I spent most of my time dying from cramps. But now that I was feeling better, I was going crazy. I couldn’t live like this anymore. Wine and lies had become my life, and I was beginning to fear my mask was going to turn permanent if nothing changed.
I sat on the couch, and Niko stiffened as he stayed focused on the TV. I knew what he was doing. I was the reason he’d gotten into a fight with his brother. He was hiding things from his family. And by keeping me at arm’s length, he was choosing them. That hurt more than I wanted to admit.
“Can we go see my dad later?” I asked, pulling my hair into a ponytail. A red strand fell on my face, and I brushed it back. The brown was almost gone since it had been months since I’d last dyed it.
“Sure.”
The narrator’s voice from the show he was watching droned on as I glanced at him. I shifted, feeling the key move in my bra. Trying to leave was becoming a larger possibility if I couldn’t get the information I needed soon.
“How old were you when your parents told you about the society?”
My question caused the largest reaction I’d seen from him in over a week. His eyes shot to me, suspicion filling them.
“I’m not talking to you about the group—”
“I’m asking about your past,” I cut in. “How would that give any secrets away? I’m just curious.”
After studying me for a moment, he only shook his head and turned back to the TV. I rolled my eyes, leaning back to get comfy for another fucking day of muted tension.
“I don’t know when they told me,” he muttered without looking away from the TV. “I’ve known about it for as long as I can remember.”
I stared at the side of his face. “As a kid? Weren’t they worried you’d tell people?”
“It was our normal. We were taught the importance of secrets. Telling a five-year-old that his parents would be taken away if people found out worked like a charm.”
I hadn’t expected the harsh truth from him. “That sounds horrible—”
“Don’t feel bad for me, Sage,” he ground out, finally meeting my gaze. “I didn’t have a terrible childhood. We went to school. Played sports. Had loving parents. Each year, we gradually learned more until we were fully immersed in it. By then, it was already ordinary for us.”
“When was the first time you,” I paused, not sure if I should keep pushing, “were part of a ceremony?”
I tried wording it as nicely as possible instead of asking about the first time he was a witness to a murder. I had a feeling he wouldn’t keep talking if I went that route.
“I was eleven.”
He mumbled it so quietly it took me a second to digest what he said. It was hard to imagine learning something like that so early in life. They were raised to accept that it was the right thing. It was like their religion. It was more of a fucked-up cult. But still normal to them.
“Your dad did the ceremony before you and Geo were born?” I asked, curious to see how much he was willing to share.
He hesitated before his face went blank as if he were going to close up again. Now I wanted to know even more. Taking a deep breath, I scooted closer to him.
“I’m not judging. I want to understand.” My words weren’t a complete lie. I wanted to understand how a belief could be instilled so deeply that killing someone was considered normal. It made sense when it started centuries ago. In those times, sacrifices were prominent in many societies. The fact that this belief survived this long was the unbelievable part.
“No.” He blew out a breath as he ran both hands through his black hair. “He didn’t.”
“But Alex told me—”
“My parents got married young.” His voice was tight as he explained. “My mom got pregnant with Geo and me before my dad did the ceremony. Then she couldn’t get pregnant again. After two years of trying, they decided a ceremony was needed. She got pregnant with Alex that month.”
“She got pregnant with you before,” I repeated, unable to hide my surprise. “But that completely contradicts your entire belief. She got pregnant without having a ceremony. You don’t need to kill to—”
“Drop it, Sage,” he snapped, his green eyes darkening. “It only further increased my parents’ faith when Alex was conceived. It showed them that it is necessary.”
“And you?” I whispered, not sure if I wanted to hear his answer. “Do you think it’s still necessary?”
“There are a lot of things I think about that I never used to.” His eyes pierced mine, sending an unwanted flutter through my stomach.
“Why are you protecting me?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Does it bother you?”
I frowned in confusion. “Does what bother me?”
“That every time you look at me, you’re seeing the face that killed your sister.”
Shock rocked me as I stared at him, speechless. Did it bother me? Before all this happened, I used to lump Geo and Niko together as one. They were Alex’s annoying twin brothers, who I ignored whenever possible. That all changed the day Niko found me in Kalamazoo.
