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Chapter Thirty-three
***Autumn***
Contriedtohold my hair back for me, but I smacked his hands away. Getting up and walking away from them, I wiped my mouth on my dress and turned to face them. They all looked caught and embarrassed.
“You made a bet? On me?”
Griff held up his hands and moved closer. “It was just a joke, and it never really mattered. It was nothing.”
“Twenty million. Is that how much I was worth?”
Zeke rubbed his hands down his face. “We were just being idiots, Autumn. It was before we realized how much we care about you.”
My stomach wouldn’t settle down and I couldn’t think past the fact that I’d been a game to them. “At what point did you realize you cared about me? Before or after you fucked me? Did you win something when I slept with you that first week? What about when I sucked you off in the kitchen? Was there a bonus for that?”
“Fucking hell, no! Listen to us, Autumn. The bet was just a stupid thing we’ve done since we were teenagers.”
“Has any of it been real?”
The shock and horror on their faces should’ve been enough to convince me that I was jumping to all the wrong conclusions, but I’d gone down that path with one of them before. Trusting them never went well for me.
“Autumn, you need to sit down and just hear us out, okay? This wasn’t anything bad. We stopped caring about the fucking bet as soon as we got to know you.” Griff pointed at the couch and frowned at me, like I was the one disappointing him.
“So. Who gets the twenty million? Will it come down to who fucked me the most? Or who got the slutty nanny to do the raunchiest thing?”
“Stop it.” Con moved across the room to me and caught my arms. “It’s not like that.”
My chest ached so painfully I actually thought I could be having a heart attack. “You’ve said that before. ‘It’s not like that, Auti. I’m not really engaged.’”
The room was silent as they moved closer to me, the stress on their faces real. They were worried about me, or maybe what I was going to do.
“Did you tell them all the dirty details? Did you tell them about how you told me to wait for you at the pier, and while I waited, you had the Bergmans pack up my things and fire me? Did you tell them how while I waited on that pier, for hours, you were getting married in the most beautiful ceremony to the most perfect bride? And I had to walk home because the Bergmans didn’t know why you’d asked them to let me go, so they thought it was because I was a thief, or worse, so they didn’t want to give me a ride back to Montauk?”
Con jerked back when I lashed out at him. “Autumn! Stop!”
“I know you didn’t tell them the next part, Con, because you didn’t even know. I was pregnant.”
Con froze, even when I shoved him. “What?”
“I was pregnant. I found out that morning. I went back to Montauk with your baby growing inside me. And I thought, you know, just maybe, I’d have this baby and you’d realize you love me and you’d come back. Because I was nineteen and fucking stupid. I did everything right.” I shoved him again, crying. “I did everything right. It wasn’t enough, though. I lost the baby at seven months. She died, and they took her from me at the hospital.”
Con sank into the couch, his face shocked.
Griff came up behind me and gently put his hand on my shoulder. “Autumn, please. It’s not what you’re thinking. Let us in. Let us hear your story and help. We care about you.”
My deepest kept secret and insecurity was right there at the surface, and I couldn’t stop, couldn’t keep myself from letting everything else out. I wanted to hurt them with it, the way they’d hurt me. “Something went wrong. In the hospital. The doctor said I’d never have kids. I’m damaged. Broken. And the one thing I want more than anything in this world is never going to happen for me. So, hey, maybe you guys wouldn’t have wanted me anyway. Twenty million for a fucked-up woman who can’t even give you babies? That doesn’t seem right.”
Zeke stood in front of me, his face showing all the signs of being crestfallen. There were tears in his eyes that looked real. I was just too far into my pain to believe him. “Autumn, I’m so sorry that happened to you. So sorry. I’m also sorry that I was such an idiot and brought up the bet shit. We care about you, Autumn. We… There are deeper feelings there. Not just care. Let us show you.”
My entire body ached painfully as the realization of what I was doing washed over me. “Stacy was right.”
“What the fuck? No, she’s not, Autumn.” Griff turned me around to face him and bent down so we were eye to eye. “I’m fucking head over heels for you, sweetheart. You have to know that. Deep down, think about it. Don’t shut down on us. Don’t do it.”
I moved away from him and stepped around Zeke. “It’s fine. Now, no one loses any of their money, right? And Stacy can relax. I’m not a threat.”
“Motherfucker.” Griff tried to follow me, but Zeke put an arm across his chest to stop him. Griff shoved at his brother. “This is fucked. This can’t end like this. Not because of a stupid fucking bet.”
“I’m going to tell the kids goodbye. They deserve that.” My heart cracked open, and I gripped the doorway as I doubled over in tears. “I’ll clean up first.”
I backed through the door and closed it, shutting them away from me. I climbed the stairs to my room and cried while packing my bags. I was lost in my sorrow, lost in the feeling of being judged as a slut, and lost in the fear of what Stacy was going to do. Running away from everything was the only thing that felt right to me. I had to go.
I made myself stop crying long enough to order a car to drive me home. Then, I straightened my back and put a smile on my face to talk to the kids. Jenny didn’t say anything, but her eyes filled with tears as she watched me. She was so nice. It was no wonder Con had picked her.
I pulled the kids into a hug and quietly explained that something had come up and that I had to leave. I was barely holding it together, desperate to get away from them before I started sobbing.
“I love you three. I hope you know that. And I’m not leaving because of you or anything you did. I just have to go. I need to spend some time at home.”
Jones frowned. “Are you coming back?”
I bit my lip and paused to answer until my lip stopped wobbling. “I’m not really sure yet, Jones. That’s okay, though. You’ve got your dad in your corner. And your sister. And Sir Fluffy Butt and Wiggles. Right?”
He shook his head. “You can’t leave.”
Caroline’s eyes welled up with tears, and Grace crawled into her mom’s lap, confused and sad. Jones was the most intense, though. His face crumpled and he cried as he turned and left the room. I heard his bedroom door slam shut and quickly hugged Caroline goodbye.
“I love you. Tell your brother that I love him, too. Okay?” I kissed her forehead and then hurried out of the room.
I had to get out of there before I really broke down. I needed my mom.
