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She was not going to let that happen. She held her head high as she handed over Fenella and allowed the guards to take care of the brigands, who had regained consciousness on the way. She headed straight inside, knowing that Matthew was right on her heels.
He had said very little on their way back. There was not much they could say, considering their audience had been the very same man who had tried to kill him. Nevertheless, she had felt the weight of his eyes during the entire trip. She knew he worried for her. It bothered her endlessly, but that, much like many other things, was something she would face later.
Jonet did not hesitate to make her way to her Faither’s study. There was already a guard present, in the process of informing him about what she and Matthew had brought back with him.
“What is the meanin’ of this?” he barked the moment he saw them. “Ye were attacked?”
Jonet sank into the closest chair she could find. She did not know how long her legs would have been able to hold out. “Aye, Faither, but as ye can see. We are fine. The guards are bringin’ them along right now.”
Her father did not seem to hear a word. He rushed over to her, coming to his knee to inspect every inch of her in near frantic worry.
“Faither, honestly, I am fine. Ye neednae worry about me. It is Matthew ye should be worryin’ about.” Jonet sighed.
“Matthew is certainly strong enough to take care of himself,” the Laird pressed.
“And I am nae?”
“Ye are me daughter. I ken havin’ ye out there so often would invite bandits sooner or later. Tell me, what did they want to take from ye? Or were they from a rival clan?”
Jonet sighed. Matthew took that as his moment to speak up. “Ye shouldnae worry about Jonet, Me Laird. As she said, they dinnae harm her. They had come after me instead.”
Laird MacLagain adopted a fierce look as his eyes sought Matthew. He rose, his hands clenching into a fist. “Ye? Why would they do that?”
“One of them tells me that they were hired by a petite woman to kill me. And had Jonet nae been there at the time, they might have succeeded.”
Jonet’s heart sank. She tried to conceal her emotions, but she had a feeling that Matthew could tell. He made it abundantly clear that he had been watching her closely all this time, so she doubted anything missed his attention.
Finally, the guards managed to bring the stumbling men i
nto the Laird’s office. If he had not been plainly angry before, the reddening of the Laird’s face belied his fury.
“I daenae want to see their faces. Have them thrown into the dungeons!” he ordered.
Jonet heard a squeak of protest, but she did not turn. She gripped her arms, trying to rein in the overwhelming horror that was settling within her. She rose, not meeting any of their eyes.
“That has been more than enough excitement for me today,” she said. “I think I will retire early to me bedchambers. I’d like to be alone.” She added that last bit for Matthew’s sake, hoping he would pay heed.
“Jonet—” her father began to say, but she shook her head at him. She knew how overprotective he was of her, and that was not what she wanted right now. In actuality, Jonet wasn’t sure what she wanted.
Perhaps peace of mind. Perhaps security and safety. Perhaps a glimpse into the future to tell if she would truly be able to live happily with Matthew, or if she would have to give him up as she should have done from the very start.
A wave of depression came over her as she turned and made her way out the room. She prayed desperately that Matthew would not follow her. She did not think she would be able hold it all in if he did and, after she had walked for a short while, she realized that he had not followed.
Jonet managed to keep herself together until she was safely within her bedroom. She had feared for a moment that she would see Freya inside, but she was blissfully alone. She made her way over to her bed, gripped the sides with her still trembling hands as she sat, and let the tears fall.
Chapter 20
I cannae do this. I cannae let this happen all over again.
Jonet laid back in her bed and she cried. In the safety of her room, hoping her sobs would be muffled in her pillows, she let out all the frustration, anger, and sadness she felt. She had been so happy today, finally confessing to him the feelings she had been harboring for some time. How could it all fall flat so suddenly?
It is me fate. I will never have the man I love. I will never be married, never be happy. And I daenae think I can live with another death on me hands.
She ceased her sobbing the moment she heard her door open. Jonet did not move, thinking it to be Freya, who might have heard what had happened and came to check up on her. Freya was the type to give comfort by allowing Jonet her space, so Jonet expected to hear the door close once more. When she did, she burrowed her face into her pillows again and sniffled.
“Jonet…”
Jonet started at the sound of Matthew’s voice. She did not turn to face him, though she had a feeling he had a glimpse of her tear-stained face. “I thought I told ye that I wanted to be alone.”
