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“I couldnae stop meself from comin’ up here.” The bed sank under his weight. “I ken why ye are cryin’.”
“If ye ken, then there is nay need for ye to be here.” She tried to make her words harsh, to get him to leave, but it was softened by her tears. “I ken what ye are goin’ to say and I daenae want to hear it.”
“I think ye need to, though,” he spoke softly. He put a hand on her arm. Jonet curled into herself. “Jonet, ye cannae continue blamin’ yerself for these things.”
Jonet sat up. She wiped furiously at her tears, climbing out of bed on the other side. She began to pace back and forth, not knowing what else to do.
“Matthew, this is what I had been afraid of. I convinced meself that it was all a lie. That I wasnae cursed. That it had all been a coincidence and that I should continue to live me life. And then look at what happened. Ye were almost killed!”
“Aye, and had ye nae been there to save me, I might have been.”
“That doesnae make me feel any better. Had it nae been for me, it wouldnae have happened in the first place.”
Matthew sighed. He stood to his feet and approached her, but he did not intercede her incessant pacing. “Jonet, ye heard what the brigand said. They were hired by someone. There is someone out there who wants to see me dead and that has nothin’ to do with ye.”
“I daenae believe ye.” She knew she was growing too worked up, but she could not stop herself. “Look at ye! Ye are kind and funny and so damn charmin’ that everyone loves ye. For what possible reason would someone want to kill a merchant like ye?”
Matthew’s eyes slid away. Jonet took that as the answer she needed.
“Ye see?” Her words were decisive. “It is the same thing that happened three years ago and six years ago. A healthy man fallin’ dead so suddenly? A born hunter growin’ lost or possibly eaten in the woods? And now ye? It just doesnae make any sense, Matthew. Ye have to admit that the one thing in common in all these happenin’s is me.” She came to a stop, sighing. “So…”
Matthew went still. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head to the words she had not yet said. “Jonet, ye cannae…”
“Matthew.” Jonet softened, eyes filling with tears again. She should have suspected it would break her heart this much to say these words, but it was her own fault for letting this get so far.
Matthew took a step toward her, shaking his head more vigorously. “Nay, ye cannae say it. Ye cannae take it back, Jonet.”
“I daenae think I can marry ye.” She broke to a million pieces at the pure hurt in his beautiful green eyes. Green eyes that were always filled with such happy emotions. Here she was, bringing the pain.
“Jonet, this is nonsense.” He bridged what was left of the gap between them, taking her hands in his. “Think about it. If it was truly yer fault, if it was truly like anythin’ that happened before, we wouldnae ken what we ken now. Accordin’ to the brigands, I was targeted by a single person. It is just an odd coincidence, Jonet, ye have to believe that.”
“How can they all be coincidences, Matthew?” She pulled her hands from his. “Time and again the same things keep happenin’. When should I stop to recognize that it might nae be as ye say? When ye are dead? I cannae allow that to happen.”
“Ye cannae truly mean to take back yer acceptance.”
“I have to do more than that and ye ken it.” She stepped away, wanting to turn her back to his pained eyes. It hurt too much to see. “Ye have to leave here, Matthew. Go as far away from me as ye can. I absolutely cannae marry ye.”
Determinedly, he took another step closer. “Daenae ye love me?” he asked.
Jonet eyes widened. She had never said those words to him before, but… her actions had declared them loud and clear. It was plain to see that she loved him. That was why she had to do this.
“I do love ye, Matthew,” she said softly. “I love ye with all me heart. I love ye more than I have ever loved anyone before and even though that scared me, I was happy for it. I was eager to begin me life with ye. But, it cannae be at the expense of yer own life. I want to be married to ye, but I have to make sure that ye leave so that ye will be safe. I daenae think I can handle seein’ ye get hurt… or worse.”
“I willnae get hurt, Jonet. I will get to the bottom of this. I will let ye see that situation is nae what ye think it is.”
Jonet shook her head. “Do ye ken how shaken I was when they got off their horses? I was afraid before, afraid that they really might try to rob us both, but never have I felt fear like when they all attacked ye. I would have thrown meself at their mercy if it meant protectin’ ye. I couldnae leave ye and I certainly couldnae keep ye at the hands of those men. It was the most frightenin’ moment of me life.” The tears resumed, though she stubbornly wiped them away. “And to think that there is the slightest possibility of that happenin’ again. Because of me? I cannae allow it. Ye must leave, Matthew, or I will have the guards send ye away—”
She did not get the chance to finish when he pulled her into a deep kiss. She pushed against his chest, but it was futile, her attempts half-hearted at best. Tears squeezed past her eyes as he enclosed his arms around her and held her tightly against his chest, as if he never wanted to let go.
He pulled away.
“Ye truly daenae ken me if ye th
ink I will let ye out of me life so easily, Jonet,” he murmured. “I ken ye are scared, but I willnae leave yer side just because ye are too afraid.”
“Matthew…”
“I told ye to trust me, dinnae I? I told ye that I wouldnae break yer heart, nor will I make ye fear love again. That is exactly what I intend to do. With ye by me side.”
