Page 83 of Dotted Lines (Runaway 5)

So I hadn’t looked her up again. Clara or Londyn or Gemma or Katherine. I’d taken it as a sign to move forward. Easier said than done.

“I assume the guy was Gus’s father. What happened?”

She sighed. “About what I said last night. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I know it put you in an uncomfortable position with Holly and . . . I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” If only she knew the real reason that I was uncomfortable had nothing to do with her words, but the words I wanted to say back.

“I met Devan in Las Vegas.” She stared at the TV as she spoke. “I’d been living there for years and work was mostly my life. It was rare that I did anything exciting, but one weekend some friends dragged me to a nightclub. That’s where I met him.”

Green crept under my skin but I stayed expressionless, listening. “How long were you together?”

“About a year. I should have ended it long before that. But Devan had his moments when he was wonderful and funny and loving. Whatever pictures you saw were probably from those times. But the longer we were together, the more I realized that those good moments were only because he knew I was about to call it off. Then he’d charm me, and I’d fall for it. I’d forget that he was a narcissist, and I was only a beautiful decoration in a world that revolved around him.”

How could anyone in Clara’s presence not want to fall into her orbit? This guy Devan must have been blind.

“I got pregnant. Obviously. It hadn’t been planned, but he accused me of doing it on purpose even though I’d been on birth control.”

“Seriously?”

She shrugged. “A baby meant Devan wouldn’t be the center of attention. To this day, I don’t know if he ever believed that it was an accident. We’d fight about it. I’d tell him we were done. He’d apologize and we’d be good for a week. Until we weren’t. It was this sick, unhealthy cycle, but I didn’t want to let him go. Not for me, but for August. I was sure that if I could just get Devan through the pregnancy, he’d meet our son and realize that love wasn’t a competition. That there was enough for him and a baby.”

“Did he?”

“No.” She tore her eyes away from the wall, dropping them to August. “By my third trimester, he was already checked out. I suspected he’d already found another woman who’d worship him. I was an afterthought by then. When August was a newborn, I told him we were done. He didn’t argue.”

“Has he been involved at all?”

“No. Devan was never going to change. He was never going to make a good father. I didn’t want to put August through any disappointment when Devan made a promise he couldn’t keep. So I gave him an out. I wouldn’t ask for any money or support if he signed over all of his parental rights. Ask me if he put up a fight.”

Of course he hadn’t, the dumb son of a bitch. “I’m sorry you went through all that alone.”

“Don’t be. I had Aria. And Brody. Not long after that, Brody told me he was moving to Welcome, Arizona, and asked if I wanted to come along. A new town. A fresh start. It was a no-brainer.”

Had Brody always planned on offering Clara the opportunity in Arizona? Or had he offered after the fallout with Devan? I had a feeling I wasn’t the only man who did what he could to protect her.

Regardless, Clara and Aria were good allies to have in your corner. Brody was a lucky man to have them both.

Clara blew out a long breath. “After I broke it off with Devan, I’d go through these days when I was so mad at myself for not seeing through his façade. He was . . . attractive. I’m not proud to say that I let his looks cloud my judgment. But when August was a baby, one day I just stopped being mad. At myself. At Devan. I got the best part of him and he was too self-absorbed to realize that when I left Vegas, I took that piece with me.”

“I l

ike the name August.”

She gave me a sad smile. “That was my dad’s name. Did I ever tell you that?”

“No.”

“If I’d had a girl, I would have named her after Mom. Hopefully Aria will have another baby one day and if it’s a girl, she can take that name. Millie. That was her name.”

“Pretty name.”

“I like it too.” She shifted, turning slightly sideways on the couch so August’s head rested in her lap.

The muted light from the TV cast a light glow over the room. They caught the gold flecks in her gaze, making them dance.

How could he have let her go?

How could I have let her go?