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Chapter Twelve
Astrid
I force Lilli from my thoughts as I walk to my desk and sit down. Erik follows, and I hand him a stack of books.
“Okay, what exactly am I looking for here?” he asks.
“It’s a spell and it references light and dark and a rebalancing.” My brow wrinkles. “And I think… I think there was an image of two moons, a black one and a white one.”
“Like ying and yang? That would make sense.”
“Yeah, kind of.” I nod, impressed he’s familiar with Asian symbolism.
Strangely enough, as Erik begins flipping through pages of my old magical texts, he doesn’t look out of place at all. When I’d first laid eyes on the muscular tattooed dragon shifter, I’d assumed he was nothing more than burly eye-candy. But he’s proven me wrong at every turn. First with his skill in magic. Second, his great instincts with Lilli. And now with books. I can’t help but bite my lip a bit as I watch my handsome bodyguard reading.
Before too long, we get an update from the dragon shifters that Lilli made it safely to Erik’s home in Zurich, after a brief stop at Luciana’s home in Scotland. I feel a bit of the tension between my shoulders ease. It helps, too, that Lilli and Luciana hit it off so quickly. I haven’t been able to get a babysitter for years since the local witches all turned their backs on me, and it’s not like human babysitters can help with a magical child. It’s a damn good thing I can do my work from home, or I don’t know what I would do.
An hour passes, then two. I expect an attack from the Night Guild at any moment, and I’m already prepared to transport us and the books to a nearby cave if needed. But for the moment all is still, both inside and outside the house. It’s strange without Lilli here. Lilli and her constant babblings and shrieks and laughs.
When Erik’s phone rings, I jump, startled. He looks at the screen and then makes a gesture that he’ll be right back. He strides to the next room, and I hear him pick it up. I catch only snippets of the conversation; mostly I tune him out while I continue to flip through the text I’m working on. After about ten minutes, he comes back into my office.
“That was Tamsin, Luciana’s sister,” he says. “She was able to finish reverse engineering one of the drugs I confiscated from the Night Guild’s lab near here.”
“Oh?” My brows go up. “That’s impressive.”
He nods. “She works at one of the world's top supernatural medical research facilities in Edinburgh. Along with her colleague Devon, an angel, she figured out what the chemical does.” He pauses. “It seems it strips supernaturals of their power.”
I stiffen, and my mouth falls open. “What? Why would the Night Guild want to do that?”
“Maybe to punish their enemies? Get people out of their way?” He shrugs. “Apparently, though, in working with the chemicals she realized there are two different ones. She’s starting work on the second one now. Maybe that will give us a better idea of the Guild’s plan.”
I shake my head. “It’s so interesting that all of this is coming about from the Raven Society. All they’ve ever done is shut me out for loving who I loved.” I wave a hand up at him. “And now they’re working with dragon shifters and angels and actually trying to help people.”
Erik frowns. “It’s not just the Raven Society witches. The whole supernatural community has been so segregated for… well, forever pretty much. The dragon shifters have historically not gotten along with the witches at all.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, I’m well aware.”
“My best friend Xander’s father was killed by witches, and he held a grudge against the Raven Society for centuries. But then he met a witch named Rowan and fell for her, and they decided to change things.” He smiles. “Perhaps it’s cheesy, but I guess you could say love transformed the Society.”
“It’s not cheesy,” I say softly. “I just wish this change had come before I had Lilli.” I can feel tears pricking at my eyes, and I force them back. There are just so many emotions running through me right now. “I’m glad it’s finally happening, but that change of heart has definitely not made its way here to the Norway covens yet.”
“It’s a work in progress, for sure,” Erik says. “It’s been less than a year since Xander and Rowan started making waves, reaching across supernatural boundaries and trying to help people.”
I try to imagine for a moment what my life would have been like, what Lilli’s life would have been like, if I’d had a community to support me. I’d thought that her dad and I could just make it on our own, but then he’d died so soon after Lilli was born. There’d been no one I could talk to about my grief, no one to help me navigate my way as a new parent, and then a new single parent.
I’d stayed strong because I had to. I’d told myself that I didn’t need anyone, that I was fine on my own. But the events of the last twenty-four hours, receiving help from Erik and Luciana and the others, has laid bare a truth I hadn’t wanted to see: how incredibly lonely I’ve been. It’s hard to miss something if you don’t know what you’re missing, but now that I know what it’s like to have people in my life who want to help, who don’t judge me…
My emotions suddenly come spilling out of me and I hurry from the room, not wanting Erik to see me cry. I walk through the sitting room and into the living room beyond. There, I stop before the fire and draw in a shuddering breath. The warmth of the flames washes over me, and I let the tears come. Not that I can really stop them at this point.
Footsteps behind me announce Erik. “I’m sorry, did I say something to upset you?” His voice is low and so, so gentle that my tears start flowing even more swiftly.
“N-no,” I manage to get out.
He steps up in front of me, a perplexed look on his face.
I draw in another shaky breath and suck back my tears. “I—I’ve never had anyone help me before,” I say. “It’s just been me and Lilli for so long.”
Realization dawns on his face. “I’m really sorry you went through everything alone,” he says. “The witches here shouldn’t have shut you out. You’ve been very strong.”
