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For a moment, his eyes lingered on me. I wanted to close the gap between us. I wanted to look up into his eyes and kiss him, so goddamn badly. I bit my lower lip, waiting for the right moment. I swore he was looking at me like he wanted it, too.
It was all I wanted, after such a perfect night.
But Roman just nodded, ducking past me in the doorway and heading back into the hallway.
“Sleep well, Theo,” he said. “I’ll be right out in the living room if you need me.”
11
Roman
I woke to the sound of something between a whimper and a call for help.
I bolted up on the couch, my world spinning for a moment in the haze of sleep. It was still raining hard outside, and I wondered for a moment if I’d just dreamed the sound. Cheeky was still at my feet, snoozing away.
But then I heard it again, quiet but distinct, coming from right down the hall in Theo’s room. I tossed the old knit blanket off my legs and got up immediately, going to knock gently on Theo’s door.
“Oh, God,” I heard him say from inside the room.
I cracked the door open and called in. “Are you okay?”
In the dim light of the room, all I could see was the outline of the bed frame. I slipped inside, closing the door behind me, and I walked over to the bed. I could just make out Theo, lying there, one hand clutching his blanket tightly. His brow was furrowed and he was breathing heavily.
“Theo,” I said, shaking him.
“Fuck,” he whispered as he finally jolted awake, sitting up in one quick motion, his eyes finally blinking open.
The moment I got to the side of the bed, he reached out and clutched onto the side of my body, his arms wrapping tight around my hips from the side.
He was so scared. So fucking scared.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, gently putting my arms around him as he shifted, burying his face against my chest.
He was heaving like he’d just finished running a marathon.
“Breathe for me,” I said, trying to sound as relaxed as I could, even though I was worried as hell about him. “Did something happen, Theo?”
“It was just a nightmare,” he exhaled. “Just another stupid fucking nightmare. I can have the most perfect night, with the most perfect people, and feel completely safe, and then still get night terrors like this. It’s never going to stop. It’s never going to go away. How am I supposed to do this?”
“You’re okay,” I said. I held him close as he breathed deeply, his body feeling small in my arms. “You’re completely safe.”
He swore again under his breath. “Was I loud? Did I wake up your mom?”
“She sleeps like a brick,” I said. “I don’t, though.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” I said. “It’s what I’m here for. I’m always on alert, even when I’m sleeping.”
“Christ, it was so bad,” Theo said. He finally released me, pulling back just a little bit and looking up at me in the dim light. He looked like he was broken, his jewel-like eyes filled with resignation.
“What happened in the dream?”
He shook his head. “It was so good, at first. Because you were in it. You were showing me around a house just like this one. And then I went down the hall, and suddenly I was alone, and when I looked out the window into the dark, he was there, and he was holding a knife—”
“Your stalker?” I said.
“Yes,” Theo said. “I fucking hate when I have nightmares about him. About the whole situation.”
My heart felt like it was about to crack. I couldn’t imagine how scared Theo must be. Even his nightmares reflected his reality. Most of my nightmares were about silly things like demons or aliens, but Theo’s were unfortunately realistic. It was a real, unresolved threat in his life, and I was sure that he didn’t get the same sense of relief when he woke up from his nightmares.
Because the nightmares were a part of his actual life, too.
I moved back in closer to him and let him lean against my chest. I squeezed my arm around his shoulders again and gently stroked the top of his arm. “You’re okay,” I repeated, breathing in the now-familiar scent of his shampoo.
He needed comfort. He needed something.
My eyes had adjusted to the dark room and I could see him now—really see him, in a different way than I ever had. He looked completely vulnerable, for the first time. I had learned that Theo usually moved through the world with an air of quiet confidence. It was the kind of confidence that came with a lifetime of people calling you beautiful—he was never quite cocky, but he was a man used to getting anything he wanted.
