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The thought threw me for a loop. This was supposed to just be a hot blow job, but instead I was having a wave of affection I couldn’t control.
Theo wrapped his fist around my base as he started to work his mouth over me a little faster, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold back much longer.
“Theo,” I said, my voice coming out a whisper. “I’m close—I’m so close—”
He hummed in response, gripping my base a little tighter.
I wanted to give him this. I wanted to give him everything.
I lost it. A second later, pleasure was pooling somewhere deep in my groin. Theo moaned as I started to come in his mouth, and he didn’t pull off.
And I felt like I was spinning somewhere far above Earth.
I never lost control. Even usually when I came, I was somehow still all there, always aware of my surroundings, always ready for whatever was going to happen. But right now, here in bed with Theo, his mouth still tightly wrapped around me, I knew I wasn’t in control.
Theo swallowed around me as I came, and for a blissful handful of seconds, my brain was completely blank. The only thing I had was feeling—pure satisfaction, relaxation, and belonging. Theo had given that to me, even though I hadn’t asked for it.
He had sucked every last bit out of me, and it was fucking perfect.
He pulled off of me slowly and sank back into the bed next to me. My awareness slowly returned, and when my eyelids fluttered open, I saw him resting on his side, looking at me with half-sleepy eyes and a tiny, satisfied smile on his face.
My heart thunked in my chest like it had just been given an electric shock.
I wanted this man.
I wanted all of this. This feeling of belonging and excitement and comfort all wrapped up into one. This person who was every bit as challenging as he was thrilling.
He softly shimmied toward me in the bed and I realized I’d been holding my breath without knowing it. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before turning over and cuddling up against me like the little spoon, letting out a little happy sigh.
I was still holding my breath.
Fuck.
I was not allowed to fall for this man. I couldn’t. For so, so many reasons.
I forced myself to breathe evenly, which didn’t help matters, because now all I could smell was the perfect scent of his hair, now located just beneath my face.
I wanted to wrap my arm around him and squeeze him as tight as I could against me. I was overcome with a wave of a feeling, one that I’d felt some version of before, but never this strong.
That same familiar feeling. The same one that had gotten me in trouble all those years ago. The same one that had made it so I never saw my former best friend again. The feeling of falling for someone, hard—someone I could never have. Back in the day, it had been because my best friend wasn’t into men. Now, it was because Theo was my boss, and a world-famous celebrity that would never end up with someone like me.
Christ, what was my brain doing? “End up with?” Why was I even thinking about things like that? All that had happened was one great blow job and it was as if my heart, my brain, and my dick were in a race to see who could make bad decisions the fastest.
I swore I would never let it happen again. I would never let my heart get broken into a million fucking pieces.
I had to be more in control of my emotions.
And I would be. Even if having Theo cuddled up next to me was the best thing I had felt in years.
16
Theo
Golden Los Angeles sunlight spilled through the tall windows as I woke up. The sheets were downy soft against my skin, and I was filled with a vague sense of comfort, like everything was going to be okay.
That certainly wasn’t a feeling I had very often anymore. How could that be right? The pieces of the night came back to me one by one. The plane flight. Garett’s house. The burglary. The hotel.
And then, Roman. Only Roman. He had filled up my entire world last night, somehow pushing away everything else, making the place his own.
Well, fuck. I’d had one of the worst nights in a long time, followed by one of the best I could ever remember. Jesus, it had been perfect, being so close to him.
I let out a little sigh as I turned over in bed, reaching to the other side of the mattress and feeling for his warmth. Instead, all I touched was a cold bed.
I blinked my eyes open slowly. Roman wasn’t there, but as I stirred, I saw him come out of the bathroom, hair still wet. He came and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on his socks.
