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Chapter Thirty-Four
Coop
Now that it was over, I owed Zee the truth.
“Hey, Presh, that fancy watch of yours wouldn’t happen to be able to make a financial transaction on it, would it?”
“Of course. Why?”
My grin pulled at the corners of my mouth, tight and serious. “The job is over.”
“You want to get paid?” She scrambled out of my arms to stare at me. “Like, now?”
“I know you’re not going to stiff me. But it’s time for this job to be over. I want to quit, and I want to tell you what happened in the Amazon.”
“You want to quit?”
“Yes.”
After a few quiet seconds, Zee flashed her wrist to me. “There, the money’s been wired.”
“And you accept my resignation?”
“I…if you don’t want to work with me I’m not going to force you to. But I’m very confused right now. I thought we’d be together?”
“Part of us having everything on table is that we are both coming to the table equally. That’s why I can’t work for you anymore.”
“You work for Zaki, not me.”
“Semantics, Presh. And I certainly won’t let you dumb down your role in Beryl to make me feel more important.”
“I thought we worked well together? I thought you enjoyed it?”
“I do. I want to work with you. I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me. More than you know. But after I tell you what I’ve done and why, I’m going to need a little time.”
“Time off? Or do you mean time away? To do what? Take out another cartel? We’re already scrambling assets to protect ourselves in Brazil. Are you going to tell me what that was all about now?”
I scrubbed my hands through my wet hair, shaking it out. “Yes, it was me in the Amazon. Yes, I killed several of Alvarez’s top men. I didn’t do it to put a target on Beryl or Zaki or even myself. And I certainly didn’t do it to put you in harm’s way. I did it to help the clinic I went to. Alvarez’s men had been siphoning off their profits and keeping them from being able to effectively bring in revenue, supplies. They weren’t able to treat the natives in the area.”
“Why didn’t you just tell Zaki? He could’ve helped.”
Zaki.I broke eye contact as I rolled to my back. “I couldn’t explain why I was there and I didn’t have time.”
“You went for Ibogaine treatment. Why was that such a secret?”
“My head wasn’t right, Zee. I went to treat my PTSD. Any TBI. I wanted to be whole—for you. I had fought my feelings for so long, but I couldn’t anymore. And I have a lot of trauma surrounding my past relationships. I was scared of it affecting us. I didn’t know how to explain, and if it didn’t work, I didn’t want to drag you into that.”
“You recommended it for Thea, so it worked. Your head is…?”
I pushed out a slow breath. “The Ibogaine helped me, yes. It put my whole life in perspective and I don’t have fears about us becoming a repeat of my past anymore. I know you’re the woman for me, the only woman.” I hated the stutter in my voice, the cracking. “I just wish I was the man for you.”
“Of course you are!” Her hands went my cheeks as she pleaded with her eyes. “Why would you even question that? Is this because I told Zaki I’d…?”
“Zaki,” I muttered. “No. This is about what the doctors there told me.” I took a deep breath and willed myself to just bite the bullet and get it out. “I have a brain tumor.”
“What?” Zee jerked back, her eyes imploring as they became watery. “Why aren’t you in a hospital right now getting it removed? Why on earth would you go scuba diving? I’ll get a surgeon on the next flight to Marakata. We’ll get a medical flight here tonight.”
I grabbed her wrist before she ordered an entire surgical unit be set up on the beach. “Presh, I know you would move heaven and earth and all the fucking stars in the sky for me. And I love you so much because you’d do it for anyone. You have done it for so many.” I twisted my grip, intertwining our fingers. “But the surgery is experimental at best. The clinic is willing to arrange for a surgeon, a good one, but I needed the money. And the job to take out Alvarez was like killing two birds with one stone.”
