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Danny
Mymindrunsin a loop with thoughts of everything that’s happened tonight, while Jenni sleeps soundly in my arms.
What we shared can’t easily be labeled as just sex, that was something I had never experienced before. It was like she was burying herself inside of me, right down to my soul.
We made love.
We said the words.
It was amazing, wonderful, and everything I never knew it could be.
It scared the hell out of me.
I was only twenty-two. Was I ready for a commitment to a girl, even one as perfect as Jenni? I wasn’t sure. I’d never even had a serious girlfriend before. Everything with Jenni was so unexpected. It scares me to see how serious things are between us—like forever serious.
I don’t know what to do about my feelings. So I’m relieved when the phone rings a few hours later with my boss asking if I want to pull some overtime. I quickly agree. I sneak out of bed and leave a note on her pillow like a coward. I know I can’t face her without getting my head straight first.
I know it’s a dick move even as I’m doing it, but I can’t stop myself. I’m afraid she’ll see the doubt written all over my face, and I know that would hurt her more than anything else. So, I sneak out like I was a teenager after curfew.
The guilt ate at me all morning as I thought of her waking up and not finding me there. What will she think? Will she just leave? Will she hate me? I don’t know what to expect, but the dread grows with every passing minute.
I know I love Jenni, even if it is fast. I think I’ve loved her from the minute she stumbled into the station that first night.
Fuck. I think I fucked this whole thing up. I just hope I can still fix it.
It’s nearly nine in the morning when my phone rings, and I get the call I’ve been dreading since I left the house.
“Good morning.” Her voice singsongs through the phone, as I hold it out and look at it in confusion.
How is she so happy when I left her in bed with only a note? Shouldn’t she be mad?
“Uh… good morning? Why aren’t you mad that I left?” I ask hesitantly.
“You got called into work.” She sounds confused.
“Right, but…”
“Danny, your job is important. You protect this town, these people I’ve come to care about. I will never fault you for doing your job. Would it have been nice to wake up with you? Yes. But will I hold your job against you? No.”
Guilt floods my system, and in that moment, I know that my internal panic this morning was unnecessary. This girl is made for me. She is my perfect girl. Even if I didn’t plan to meet her, or to get serious this young. Jenni is going to be my forever.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. What time will you be home?”
Home. She had called my place home. I wait for the panic to hit me, but it never comes. Instead it just feels right, and suddenly I have the urge to make that a permanent thing. I know she still has a year left of school, but I’m ready to make plans for after that. Plans that include us being together.
