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“It’s fine, I took care of it,” Alivia said, and there was an edge to her voice.
I wanted to leave, but there was no good way to do that.
“You’ve done an incredible job,” Alice said, her voice even.
Alivia was about to reply when we heard the patter of little feet and Ellie burst through the doors and flung herself on her mom, wet hair flying everywhere.
“What is it, honey?” Alice said, shifting back into mom mode.
“I missed you,” Ellie said, clinging onto her mom.
“Oh, baby,” Alice said, giving her a huge hug. “Duty calls.” She abandoned her wine glass and picked up her daughter.
“Try again tomorrow,” I said with a laugh.
Alice gave us a little wave as she carried her daughter back upstairs.
I turned to look at Alivia.
“You okay?” I touched her arm and she flinched, as if she’d forgotten I was there.
“Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.”
I sipped my wine. It was excellent. “What were you thinking about?”
“My life,” she said, chuckling a little.
“Anything specific?” I asked. I expected her to brush me off, but she didn’t.
“I love my family. I do. But sometimes it’s all too much,” she said.
“It’s a wonder you haven’t completely collapsed carrying everyone on your shoulders,” I said.
“I know,” she said with a sigh. “I know I’m doing it and I can’t seem to stop. But I’m tired, Charli. I’m so fucking tired.” She closed her eyes and I thought I saw a tear slip down her cheek.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s go upstairs and you can let me take care of you for a little bit.” It was the least I could do to thank her for inviting me to the dinner.
Alivia stood up and let me lead her back to her room, taking our wine glasses with us.
“Go lay down,” I said, and she fell on the bed. I started with her shoes, taking them off for her and setting them by the door.
She peered at me through half-closed eyelids. She wasn’t joking about being tired.
“You don’t have to do anything right now,” I said. “You don’t have to give anything right now. Not to me, not to anyone.”
I pulled off her socks and grabbed the lotion from her nightstand and started rubbing her feet.
“Oh, that feels good,” she said. I knew I didn’t have the best technique, but like the last time I’d rubbed her back, she didn’t seem to care.
I worked on each of her feet until her breathing was calm and deep and even. She was still awake, though, watching me.
“Let’s work on that tense neck of yours.” I sat behind her on the bed and worked my fingers into those rock-hard knots that she had right where her skull met her neck.
“You really should book regular massages. One of my aunt’s friends has a little massage room in her house, and she does facials too.” I’d gone to her a few times and she had magic fingers.
“I don’t have time,” Alivia said, protesting.
“Your family doesn’t want you suffering, Alivia. I’m getting the feeling that they don’t even know all the shit you’re doing. It’s not sustainable.” I didn’t mean for this to turn into a lecture, but here we were.
