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“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I think we would have gotten together eventually. I wouldn’t have let you walk around being so cute without asking you out at some point.”
I didn’t know if that was true either.
“I have to tell you something,” I whispered.
She sat up and turned the light on. “What is it?”
“Remember when we first started hanging out?” My entire body was shaking.
“Yeah,” Esme said.
“Well, I first went after you because… because…” I couldn’t seem to get the words out. I took a breath. “Because I was trying to get back at Wyatt. He’s had this huge fucking thing for you for years, so I thought that if I could get with you, then I could rub it in his face and I know how terrible that sounds, but I’m so sorry, and I couldn’t keep it inside anymore.” The words came out of my mouth so quickly that I wasn’t sure if Esme even understood me.
I waited for her reaction.
“You talked with me to get back at him,” she said slowly, looking down at the blankets.
“Yes,” I said, and then I started to cry. “I’m sorry.”
Esme was silent for a long time. What felt like hours.
“Okay. That’s… that’s a lot to think about, Paige. When did things change for you? Or are you still trying to get back at him?”
“No!” I tried to reach for her hand. “I’m not trying to get back at him. I forgot all about him after that first night you stayed here.”
She got out of bed and stood up. “You slept with me to get back at him and only realized you had real feelings for me after?”
The tears came harder now. I never should have said anything. Linley was right.
“I’m sorry. It was such a fucking bad idea. I never meant to hurt you,” I said.
Esme put her hand up. “I think I need to go home and think about this for a little while. I don’t… I can’t be here right now.”
I wanted to scream, I wanted to grab her and beg her to stay. I wanted to throw myself in front of her truck so she’d have to run over me if she wanted to leave.
I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I sat in bed and cried as she put her clothes on and gathered up Stormy and left.
Her truck roared in the quiet night as she pulled out of the driveway, and I sat there and cried. Potato jumped up on the bed, confused at what was going on.
“I fucked it up, Potato. I fucked everything up.”
