Page 82 of Bad News Babe


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“Sure, sure,” Val says, smirking. “Continue.”

“Welp, Shania always wanted to be a singer. She has a pretty voice, too. Kinda sounds like Dolly Parton mixed with Billy Joel. So, we were at a nightclub, and she got up on the stage to sing her favorite song, ‘Ex’s and Oh’s.’ I shit you not. The crowd went wild.”

“Big crowd, huh?” Jared asks.

“Thirty or forty people, yeah. The next thing I knew, the manager was whispering in her ear about working there. Shania said she didn’t live local and lacked the money to move. He promised to take care of her. So, she asked me if it was okay.”

“And you said yes?” I balk, nearly shattering the glass in my grip. “What about Alexis?”

“I didn’t want her thinking her mama abandoned her for a swanky Jersey job, so I told her Shania died. Seemed easier for her to digest.”

“That might be the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard,” Court mutters before adding, “And Justice once tried to convince me that she needed her vagina tightened up after giving birth to a single small baby.”

“Well, she also deals with your big dick, so...” Val says helpfully.

Court smirks. “Well, yeah, there’s that.”

“Back to you lying to Alexis about her mom,” I growl, standing and frowning down at the blitzed man. “If you told her the truth, she could have talked to her mom on the phone or visited her.”

“I figured Alexis wouldn’t like visiting Jersey. Everyone’s very tan there. It’d make her insecure.”

“It’s a Jersey thing,” Val says. When I knock his drink out of his hand, he mutters, “Don’t be a muff cabbage.”

Angry at the world now, I yell, “I can’t believe you lied to Alexis!”

“Whoa, son,” Pa-Emmett says, standing up to prevent me from pounding on Gary. “Your girl isn’t far enough away for you to be hollering like that.”

“She has a right to know.”

“Yeah, but not like this. You’ve gotta be smarter than her idiot father.”

“Hey, I’m the one who stuck around and raised Alexis,” Gary mumbles without much effort. “I could have hunkered down in Jersey like Shania. Gotten me a swanky job, too. But, no, I went back to our trailer park and did the hard stuff like helping Alexis with her homework.”

“She’s terrible at math and spelling,” I growl at him.

“I didn’t say I was a genius myself, but I gave it a try. Do you think you’ll understand everything on your kids’ homework?” he asks, wagging his finger at me. “Well, if so, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.”

“Pa,” I mutter, turning to my dad. “What do I do?”

Resting his hands on my shoulders, he explains, “You take her out to breakfast somewhere nice and get her a little blitzed on a mimosa. Next, you tell Alexis how her ma’s alive. Then, you let her feel whatever she wants to feel. Be supportive. If she wants to track down the bitch, you help her. If she doesn’t, you understand. That’s what I’d do, anyway.”

“Real wise, Pa,” Val says and nods approvingly. “Especially the part where he gets Alexis drunk and dumps that shit on her in public so she can’t freak out.”

“Can’t?” Gary asks and snorts. “You’ve met Alexis, right? She once started a food fight at McDonald’s because she was jealous that the other kids got to eat while we only enjoyed a refreshing cup of water. I remember how she grinned from ear to ear after ruining those kids’ days. My baby has a great smile.”

After rolling his eyes at Gary, Pa-Emmett focuses on me. “Alexis isn’t that kid anymore. She has you and the family and a new start. That’s why you take her somewhere nice and get her a little loaded. Help her see how much her life has changed before you dump that ugly shit on her.”

“What if she cries?” I say, feeling my heart tear in half. “She’s so fragile when she’s sad.”

“You’ll get strong when your woman is weak. That’s how it works. Let her be fragile while you remind her how it’ll be okay.”

“She won’t be too upset,” Gary insists and pours himself more moonshine. “Back as a kid, she would have gotten all bothered. Alexis isn’t like that anymore. She got real mature around thirteen. I was very proud of her.”

“I’m going to murder him,” I hiss through gritted teeth.

Pa-Emmett shakes his head and waves off my threat. “Be patient. I remember when I joined Poppy’s family. Though I was surrounded by losers and dipshits, I learned to ignore their crap.”

Court and Jared enjoy a chuckle at my father’s bullshit.

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