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“I’ve heard worse,” Edith adds.
“I love you more than anyone ever!” Alexis declares before crawling halfway on my lap despite the table being in the way.
After she nearly slides onto the floor, I get her situated against me. We enjoy our meal. Besides feeling lightheaded, Alexis remains in a great mood.
Soon, I follow my sister’s SUV back to the duplex. Since my dream girl will likely fall off my hog, Tuesday hangs around and helps me pack up Alexis’s stuff.
“Don’t tell your father that the couch is available,” Zelda informs Alexis, who pats her cousin’s face.
“I love you.”
Juno tears up. “It’s the end of an era.”
“We’ve lived together for two weeks,” her sister mutters.
“Heartless.”
Rolling her eyes, Zelda pats Alexis’s shoulder. “Don’t forget us.”
“I will have your names tattooed on my boobs. This one will be Juno,” she says and pokes her right tit. “And this one will be Zelda.”
Juno sighs. “That’s so sweet.”
“What’s sweet about the Juno boob getting molested by a biker?”
“I’m a romantic,” Juno says and hurries away to unleash her horniness on Tripp.
After we pack up Tuesday’s SUV with Alexis’s meager belongings, I follow them back to the homestead. My sister carries Alexis’s bags while I cradle my sleepy dream girl.
“Is your mom mad at me?” she whispers while hiding from the sun under her hair.
“Of course not. She’ll help me baby you.”
“I’m fine, really.”
Two minutes later, Ma-Poppy nearly faints for real at the sight of Alexis’s face.
“My poor redheaded baby girl,” she whimpers as my babe curls up on the couch and starts dozing again. “You just rest.”
“I could move her to my room.”
“No, let her enjoy the healing power of family love,” Ma-Poppy replies while resting a light blanket on Alexis. “As a teenager, I’d curl up on the floor and watch TV when my period was especially awful. Hiding in my room would have been a punishment. This is better.”
I find a comfy spot nearby and smile at Alexis. She dozes off midway through the first “South Park” episode. My pa and Val arrive home by the fourth one. They tiptoe around the family room to avoid waking my sleeping beauty.
My father’s so sympathetic to Alexis’s beauty mishap that he doesn’t even complain over the house getting more crowded. And this is a man who threatened to move into the shed when Ma-Poppy brought home our last cat.
Tonight, though, he wields his most patient “gentle pa” vibe like when Ma or Tuesday suffer through their Aunt Flo visits.
And I get to finish my night with a pleasured Alexis pressed against me in my bed. Whatever terrible shit happens tomorrow—Shania Fontaine or more allergic reaction aftereffects—I’m living the dream for now.
