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“Sorry,” he mutters, rubbing his eyes. Softly, he adds, “I can't even remember my mom and sometimes, my memory of Dad is hazy. I just want my brother back. That's all.”
“I know what you mean, Drake. I've already said something to him about it.”
“You have?” Drake looks surprised.
“Yeah, of course. I noticed it too, but I didn't know what exactly was bothering you. Is that it? There's nothing at school or with hockey that's bothering you too?”
Drake shakes his head. “Can I go back to my room now?” he asks just as Jake walks in the door.
I nod, and he walks away. I turn back to fixing dinner.
“Hey, Sweetness,” Jake says from behind me, kissing my shoulder.
“I'm taking away your bonus points,” I tell him, referring to our conversation at lunch.
“How come?” Jake moves to rest his hip against the counter, folding his arms over his chest.
“Have you talked to Drake yet or anything?” He shakes his head. I turn to him, mocking his stance, and let him have it. “He misses his brother, Jake, and you need to let him know that you are there for him. No matter where you are or what you're doing. Go talk to him. Now. And don't come back until he's happy and then you better make sure he never feels like he has no family again.”
Jake's face, which was cautious, now falls. “He...He doesn't feel like he has a family?” he asks quietly, his gaze glancing towards Drake's room.
“Nope.” I watch as Jake's mind works, his frown deepening. I step closer to him, resting a hand on his forearm. “Love, he wants his brother back. That's it. You can do that. Go talk to him please.”
Jake nods and walks away. He goes to Drake's room and closes the door behind him. He's in there the entire time I'm cooking supper. Part of me wants to grab a glass and stand at the door to listen, make sure everything is okay, but I don't. Although, the longer Jake is in there, the more I start to worry. I leave the pots and pans to grab a wine glass and a bottle of wine. I exaggerate my movements as I pour a glass.
“What are you doing?”
I jump, spilling a little as I turn around at Jake's voice. For some reason, I feel like I was caught stealing or something. “I, um, I was just getting something to drink.” I narrow my eyes at him. “What are you doing?”
He walks around the counter to the stove. “I'm saving supper before you burn it.”
I ignore him, put the bottle away, wipe up my mess, and take a sip. Watching his movements, I wait for him to say something to tell me how it went, but he doesn't say anything. “Well?” I finally ask.
Jake glances over his shoulder at me. “What?”
Glaring, I say, “How did it go?”
“Fine. Drake,” he calls. “Time to eat.”
“That's all? Fine?”
Drake comes into the room, ending our conversation. I watch him closely as he sets the table and Jake places the food on the table. They sit down then look at me expectantly. Huffing, I sit down as well. I watch them both as we begin to eat and the boys begin talking about hockey. Just then, it hits me that this is my life. It's hockey. My role is different now. I'm no longer a simple fan. My life is torn between my job and hockey, whether it's with Jake or Drake. I'm tending to one or the other at all times. And if I'm honest, sometimes, even my job comes second to hockey.
“Sweetness?”
I look up to see that Drake has retreated back to his room, and the table has been cleared with the exception of my plate. Jake is sitting next to me, watching, a slight smile on his face. He leans forward and rests a hand on my knee.
“What's going on in that pretty little head of yours? Hm? I talked to him. He's my brother and we're fine. Drake told me how he felt like he was alone, with no one to talk to. He told me how I didn't feel like family anymore. We talked about things I could do better and made plans to hang out more. We are back on track. So what's going on? Where were you just now?”
“Just thinking. Are you sure everything's fine?” I ask even though he's already told me.
He nods. “Is everything okay with you?” Jake's eyebrows bunch with concern, his mouth dipping into a slight frown.
“I'm tired all of a sudden. I'm going to go to bed.” I put my things away, leave Jake behind, and go to our room. It's been a long day, and Drake has a game tomorrow. Not to mention that Jake will be gone all next week. I'm tired. Sleep sounds pretty good. Actually, a shower sounds better. Yes, shower then sleep.
Jake isn't in bed yet when I get out of my shower, so I crawl into bed alone. Things are all good now, right? Jake made up with his brother and me. We're planning our wedding, he's going to build us a house, and eventually, we're going to have a baby. Everything is fine. Only it isn't. Something still feels off, but I don't know what it is yet.
When I hear the bedroom door open, I close my eyes. Like I'm a scared little kid avoiding someone because I'm about to get in trouble. What is wrong with me and why do I want to avoid Jake? I listen as he does his usual nightly routine before he climbs in next to me. Easily, he pulls me against him and kisses my neck through my hair.
“Sweetness,” he mumbles. “You're panicking, aren't you?”
Panicking? I roll over in his arms. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh? Look who's awake.” He half smiles. “You know, over the six years we've been together, I've learned a bit about you. In the past three years, I've learned even more. You've changed a little. Now, when you're panicking about something, you stare off into space and later that night, you pretend to be asleep. So what is it?”
“I hate when you do that. Notice everything.” He notices things that I don't and I'm the one doing it.
