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Chapter Five
Emily
I don't want to talk to Jake. It's easier to pretend he isn't home than to face him. I'm so pissed off, and I don't know how we're going to handle some of the things that I said. Not talking to him at all has been hard, but it has allowed me to do a lot of thinking. Only I'm left with more questions than answers.
Then my dad shows up, and I can care less about anything else. I've missed him so much, and it's been a while since I've seen him. Sometimes, I just need a hug from my dad, and Jake got that for me. Now as I sit across from him, he asks me what Jake did to be so adamant about him coming up to surprise me tonight.
“He came home really late on my birthday and didn't even call to tell me. It's not just that though, Dad. I've told him that he acts like hockey is all that matters. I've asked him if he's happy with us and he says he is, but I don't know. My Jake is still in there somewhere, but I don't know how to get him back because that man on my birthday wasn't Jake. Plus, I brought up some things that I don't think I should have. Today, he was my Jake because he surprised me with you. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'm holding him back and keeping him from being completely happy.”
Dad reaches over and takes my hand. “Hon, you've been together six years. You both mess up here and there. I think he realizes that he's messed up and I'm sure you'll figure out a way to bring him back down to Earth. This is just a hurdle that y'all will have to get through.”
I mull over what my dad said as we continue through dinner. It's really good to see him and hang out with him. After supper, we head back to the apartment. Drake gives up his bed for my dad, which means that Drake gets the couch and Jake is back in the bedroom with me. I wonder if Jake thought of that when he set this up. Having my dad around sure did soften me up. I'm in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, when Jake comes to lean against the doorframe.
His voice is soft and careful as he asks, “Can I sleep in here tonight or do I need to go crash at Steve's?”
“Here is fine,” I answer quietly. His question makes me feel guilty. It shouldn't because I'm not the one in the wrong here, but it does anyway. I step out of the bathroom, and Jake takes my place. Seconds later, he climbs into bed behind me. We're both laying on our backs, staring up at the ceiling. I despise that I'm going to have to say something first. Jake has been silently following my lead since my birthday, and I doubt he'll change that now. With a deep breath, I finally speak, “I'm tired of dealing with you being this way. Something's gotta give, Jake.”
“I know.”
“And I don't want to hear that things will be different or that you're sorry. I want to see the proof in your actions.”
“Okay.”
Why does he keep giving me short answers?! I push my annoyance aside and add, “Thank you for bringing my dad up here.”
“You're welcome.”
I roll on my side to face him and he does the same. Slowly, I bring my fingers about an inch from his face. “Permission to touch the beard?” I smile.
Jake grins. “Of course.” Keeping my eyes on his, I trail my fingers over the coarse hair for a while. My anger slowly melts away. And then he says, “We need to talk about what you said.”
I withhold my groan. “Do we have to?”
“Yes.” Jake grabs my waist to tug me against him, kissing me softly. He breathes heavily in a sigh and whispers, “I love you so much, Sweetness. I just want things to be better.”
Part of me wants to make a smart comment, but I don't. Instead, I tell him that I love him, and we'll talk about it later before burying my face in the crook of his neck and falling asleep. All I want is to be with Jake without being mad or having an argument. I want to simply be with him. That's all. Thankfully, Jake lets the issue slide for now.
* * *
The morning is full of running around to get ready for work, getting Drake up and ready for school, and telling not only Jake goodbye, but my father as well. I hate that I don't have more time with them. I kiss my dad's cheek, give him a hug, and tell him I love him. Jake is standing off to the side with his hands stuck in his pockets, watching. He knows that our problems are still unresolved and he looks a little concerned.
“Drake! Let's go!” I yell as I walk over to him. When I reach Jake, I wrap my arms around his waist. “All that matters is that I love you. We can fix everything else later. Go play hockey and travel safely, okay?”
He kisses my forehead. “Promise.”
