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“What happened to us, Jake? I hate the way we are, the way we've been since August. This isn't us. I don't know what to do anymore.”
“Aw, Sweetness.” I pull her to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her. “We've been avoiding our issues, that's what happened to us. So let's talk.”
Quietly, she tells me, “I don't hate your job. I hate who you've become because of your job. In some circumstances, you do have a choice and you never choose us. Did you notice how little we touched this week? That's how it's been between you and me. Did you feel like a nanny? That's how I've felt and nothing else seemed to make you see that.”
“I'm sorry, Sweetness. Trust me, I see it now.”
“Do you? You were supposed to see it like the first three times we talked. Nothing has changed. Where has my Jake gone?” Finally, she looks at me, her eyes sad.
“I'm right here.” I give her a little squeeze.
“I don't think you are. And even if you are, you'll be gone once you start playing again.”
I don't know what to tell her. Yeah, I know that I have to show her, but I couldn't even do that the last time. She needs to see it and believe me, but I have no idea what to say.
“There's nothing to say, Jake, so don't even try to think of something. Change doesn't come in words. It comes in actions.”
“And I've been failing,” I finish for her.
“Things have to get better. I won't say things I don't mean anymore and I won't nitpick every little thing. You need to do whatever you have to do though.”
“I will,” I say with conviction.
We can't continue like this anymore. Emily's right. This isn't us. Now that we've talked about it, we should be able to correct the errors of our ways.
