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CHAPTERSIXTEEN
On the lead-up to Eli’s big day, I make myself busy arranging the whole thing, ensuring that the day will go in perfectly. I called my mother, who screamed at me so much that I had to put the phone down. In the end, when she came knocking on the door, I hid in the basement until she went away. Such a cowardly move, but the woman’s voice scared me. I certainly didn’t want to deal with her face to face. In the end, once I had dealt with all the calls and messages, I decided to send an email to my mother explaining my reasoning. I haven’t heard a thing since.
And despite the tablets the doctor prescribed me making me terribly groggy, I have diligently taken them. In the end, I rang the doctor and he advised I could drop the dosage considering I was a lot better and wanted so desperately to be weaned off them. It’s so strange a notion that I’m taking drugs to ease myself off other drugs that I have no recollection of taking. Suffice it to say, I’m glad that I can at least come down in dosage as it will mean I can stop all together shortly. One hopes.
A few days before the big day that I have been arranging for Eli, I am making my fifth attempt at macaroni and cheese when speak of the devil—he enters the kitchen, looking as handsome and as shocked as ever, his hair immaculate, his jeans hugging him nicely at the hips, and his navy polo shirt kissing his muscles in all the right places. I feel ever so jealous of Polo.
In his hands is a magazine, which he places on the countertop. “What’s this?” he asks, a little bewildered.
I turn off the stove, neglecting my stirring of the mac and cheese—which I just can’t seem to get right—and peer down at the article. It’s the one explaining my reasons to take time out.
“I need a rest, and I also need to spend more time at home… with you.”
Rummaging a hand through his hair, he then leans both on the island. “But, why? You’ve never taken time out since I’ve known you. In fact, it took everything I had in me to convince you to have a solid week away with me on our honeymoon.”
Really? Wow. What can I say to that?
“That’s why this is even more necessary,” I finally reply.
“But this is all wrong. I mean…” He sighs his frustration before motioning towards the stove. “You’re even cooking now? I just can’t wrap my had around it all. Something’s wrong.”
I bite my lip, knowing he’s right. Telling my brother about my amnesia was one thing, but admitting it to Eli too? He doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth, so telling him this wild story about suddenly waking up and not remembering a thing would really cement it in his head that I’m up to something.
“I understand that you’re suspicious of my actions and I also understand why. Can you not just accept that I want this for myself and that I’m trying my hardest here?”
I gaze into his eyes, imploring him to see that I’m not making this up. His gaze back lingers for a moment before he eventually sighs, his shoulders drooping with what could be ease.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” He takes a seat by the island and points to the magazine. “This came out a couple of days ago, but it wasn’t brought to my attention ’til someone asked me if you were okay. When I asked why, they handed me this magazine. It was like I was reading about a different woman. Kendra has never abandoned her career for anyone.”
I grab the tea towel draped around my neck and flip it for something to do. “Well, maybe Kendra should stop being a silly bitch and concentrate on more important things in life.”
Eli’s eruption of laughter is like music to my ears. “You have a wonderful laugh,” I tell him. “You should do it more often.”
I feel Eli has something to say to that, but he holds his tongue.
“Do you want macaroni and cheese? I’ve been trying all day to make this but can’t seem to get it right. I don’t know what Brady puts in it to make it taste so nice, but I think this is my best attempt so far.”
An amused chuckle escapes his lips. “When I next speak with him, I will ask.”
Grabbing a bowl, I spoon some in for him. “Thank you.” I then nervously place the bowl in front of him. “I hope you like it.”
I bite my lip as I watch him pick up a fork and delve in. When he bites down, I don’t detect revulsion. In fact, he looks somewhat amazed.
“This is actually pretty good.”
I fake tut. “Don’t act so surprised.”
“Lately, everything about you is surprising me.”
“Funnily enough, me too,” I reply, honestly. “I don’t quite know who that Kendra was before your movie launch, but I have come to detest her.”
I take my bowl and sit down, happily digging in with relish. It’s good, but it’s still missing something. Eli watches me with what I can only perceive to be interest, and maybe even caution.
“What’s changed?” He catches me placing my fork down, my head tilting to one side. “I mean… I can understand to a certain degree that when people realize they need to change, that is their first step, but you… it’s like you’ve had a complete personality transplant.” He points to my bowl. “For starters, you’re eating cheese, which is unheard of. In fact, you eating anything is unheard of. You have not made one single swipe at me since my launch, you’re giving up work, and now your brother is visiting you more—which only ever happens once or twice a year because you don’t get on. I just don’t understand any of this.”
My heart sinks. I’m so desperate to tell him that I don’t remember any of these things pre his launch, but I know I need to tread carefully. It’s taken him this long just to sit down and have a meal with me… converse with me. I don’t want to lose that.
“You know butterflies are extremely fascinating creatures?” I begin, letting myself roll with the punches. I pause a moment to see if Eli objects to me not answering the question straight away, but he simply stares and carries on eating. I take that as my cue that he wants me to continue.
