Page 141 of How Much I Want


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SOFIA

Mateo is subdued in the morning after the incident during the night. Before she leaves, I explain to Gladys what happened, and she assures him that he doesn’t have to worry about that with Nico. He hugs and kisses Gladys before Nico has one of his guys drive her home.

Another car comes for us and drops us at Departures at MIA.

I’m so thankful to have Nico with me. He knows how to navigate the airport chaos and has us checked in and on our way to airport security within minutes. Mateo takes it all in, and while he hasn’t had much to say to either of us this morning, he seems excited about the trip.

Nico is great with him, pointing out things he doesn’t want my son to miss, such as the conveyer belt at security or the X-ray machine that Mateo initially balks at entering. Right away, I realize it reminds him of things he’s experienced at the hospital.

“It doesn’t hurt at all,” I tell him. “Watch, Nico will go first.”

He stands in the machine with his legs spread and his arms up while Mateo barely breathes as he stares at him.

“Mateo’s turn,” I say, nudging him forward. “Just do what Nico did. I swear it doesn’t hurt.”

Mateo goes into the machine and awkwardly positions himself into place.

“Don’t move,” the TSA agent says.

I hold my breath in the seconds it takes for the machine to complete the scan.

“All done,” the agent says.

Nico receives Mateo while I go through the scanner.

After we clear security, we stop for breakfast at a restaurant on the concourse. That’s a word I learned today when I heard Nico say it.

By the time we board the plane an hour later, I’ve almost forgotten to be nervous about flying for the first time.

Nico tells the flight crew that it’s mine and Mateo’s first flight, and the pilot comes out to give Mateo a wings pin. My son is thrilled with the wings and the attention from the pilot, who invites him to see the cockpit while the other passengers are boarding.

It’s all so exciting, and at the end of the three-hour-and-twenty-minute flight, I’ll meet my father for the first time. My excitement dies the second the plane speeds down the runway and lifts into the sky.

Nico sat in the middle seat so Mateo could look out, but that’s the last thing I want to do.

“Look,” Nico says. “You can see all of Miami.”

“No, thanks.”

He covers my freezing, clutched hands with his warm one. “You should look, Sofia. It’s amazing to see everything from up here. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

I force my eyes open and glance to my right, where I can see the beach below. I can’t help but lean over Nico for a closer look. He’s right. It is amazing. Until the plane hits a bump, and I nearly die of a heart attack.

His arm around me keeps me still as he chuckles at my reaction. “It’s fine. It’s like a car hitting a pothole.”

Ugh, I’m never going to survive this. I’m wound so tightly, I feel like I might explode.

When the stewardess comes to take a drink order, Nico asks for Bloody Marys for us and a Sprite for Mateo. “The vodka will help,” he assures me.

He’s right. After a few sips of the cocktail, I do feel calmer.

Mateo is loving everything about this, especially having Sprite in the morning.

Nico is endlessly patient with him, answering all his questions and pointing to things out the window. There’s a monitor on the back of the seat in front of us that shows the progression of our flight, which Mateo finds fascinating. When he starts to get itchy, Nico sets him up with his headphones and the movie Cars, which Mateo loves.

“You’re so good with him. Thank you.”

“He’s great. I love being with him. I just hate that he thought I could hurt you.”

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