Page 54 of Nonverbal


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She flashes angry eyes at Brody.

“I didn’t give the details,” he responds. “But she’s worried about you as much as I am. It might be therapeutic if you tell her.”

“This feels like an intervention,” she bites out, tears threatening to fall again.

“Yeah, well, maybe you need one.”

“Fine. Yes, there was an accident.”

I sit on the recliner and wait.

The world becomes silent, like the break in a song where all music stops. Amber’s words rest in the middle of that stillness, only the music doesn’t begin again to soften the blow. “I killed someone.”

I gasp. I don’t mean to because it makes Amber sob, but I wasn’t prepared for her to say that.

“See? I told you I’m a horrible person.”

is all I can tap on my phone. Amber killed someone?

Brody rubs her back, encouraging her to continue.

“I can’t…remember everything now. I don’t know if he was behind a car or in the middle of the street. I only know the story I rehearsed with the lawyer, but what if that’s a lie? What if he was in the middle of the road, clear as day, and I just chose to hit him? I remember being angry about something that day. Boyfriend troubles or problems with my outfit. I don’t remember. Something unimportant. I was angry about some meaningless, insignificant thing, and I killed him.” Blonde hair sticks to her wet cheeks, and she swats the strands away.

“I was driving. I was going the speed limit. As I turned a corner, a man and his dog walked out from behind a car. I couldn’t stop. I hit them. He was jaywalking. I was obeying the law. The dog died on site. The man died later in the hospital.”

I don’t know how to respond. I really don’t. What can I say? If she was obeying the law, it was simply a tragic and heart-wrenching accident. Amber isn’t a bad person. They call them accidents for reasons, even if they’re painful and sad.

No. I know what to say.

She falls against Brody’s shoulder, and he wraps an arm around her. “I took someone’s life,” she sobs. “He was a good man, Paige, and I killed him. He was a heart doctor. He saved so many people’s lives and brought so much happiness and hope to the world. And now he’s gone and all these people who could’ve been saved will die because I killed someone so important. He has a family. I see their posts online every year. They post about missing him and being sad. His wife misses him, and his daughters. His parents. He has daughters and now they don’t have a dad because of me. So many people loved him, and I ruined their lives. They’re all mourning and I’m here eating cake, trying to make myself feel better when I should be dead. I should’ve died. My life is a waste and his was so important. I should’ve been the one who died.” She squeezes Brody’s arm, digging her fingers in, and he winces. “It hurts. Inside me. It hurts so much I don’t know what to do. How do I make it stop hurting? I don’t want to hurt, but I deserve to. So much.”

The next instant, she’s off the couch, sitting on the floor in front of the recliner, looking up at me. She curls her hand around my calf. “I helped you, right? I helped you and brought you here where you’d be safe. That was something good. You seem happier. Right?”

I consider what I say next for a long time. I almost stop my fingers from moving but push myself to tap the words because she needs to hear them.

“Because I’m too horrible of a per—”

Brody looks hurt, so I say my next words to him as much as her.

Brody stares at me, and I wish he wouldn’t. The way he looks at me keeps changing. First it was curiosity, then lust, then playfulness. Now it’s something more. His eyes are tender. I squirm. I don’t want him caring for me. Not like that. Not when I have to go home soon. I can’t keep staying here and putting both of them at risk of getting arrested for hiding a runaway.

He clears his throat. “Paige is right. We need to find you professional help. A rehab clinic.”

“I’ve detoxed just fine on my own,” Amber protests, picking at the carpet. “Besides, I didn’t take any pills and rehab is expensive.”

“You’ve been heavy on the alcohol, and your own attempts never stick. Don’t worry about money. You have insurance and I have credit cards.”

Brody is a bit too gruff, so I join Amber on the floor and take her hand to soothe her.

She smiles, a slight curve of her lips, and then sighs. “I’m scared, but I guess you’re right.” She leans close to whisper so Brody can’t hear. “I’ll do this for you, but while I’m gone, promise you won’t let Brody scare you off. Just ignore him and stay here. And please pick a lawyer. When I get back, we’ll figure out what to do so you can stay with me. I won’t let you go back to that place.”

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