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I clear my throat. “Let’s all go inside. I’ll get some supplies. For your arm and—” Neither of them are listening to me. Think about what’s best for Paige. I’ll go inside and leave them alone. Paige will come in when she’s ready, and I shouldn’t stand here if my presence makes her uncomfortable. She’s safe. She’s here. I’ll remind myself of that as much as necessary to distract me from my bruised heart.
I leave the porch and walk to the bathroom. I pull supplies from the cabinet, my arms heavy. Gauze. Medical tape. Ointment. What else? I grab a small box of butterfly bandages, but my clumsy fingers drop the box and they scatter to the floor. Tiny brown dead butterflies in white packages speckle the tile. I pick one up, crushing it in my fist. Small. Fragile. So easy to hurt.
All those bruises on Paige’s arm. Her throat. Under the bandage. The wild look in her eyes—prey that barely escaped. I grip the edge of the sink and hunch forward. It could’ve been so much worse. What if she had never come back? What if her stepdad…
“Fuck.” I hang my head.
She’s here. I can’t think those thoughts. She escaped. She’s safe. We’ll figure out a new living situation. If she doesn’t want me here, I’ll stay in a hotel until she and Amber decide on the next steps. Hell, they can have this place. I’ll find a crappy apartment and Paige can live here where I know Frank is nearby, monitoring everything.
Paige is alive. She’s okay.
But what if she hadn’t made it out and…
“Fuck. Fuck.”
I grip the sink tighter and my shoulders shake. My breaths are ragged and emotion drips from my eyes, flowing down the drain. I cover my face with a hand. “God dammit.”
She’s here. Stop thinking those thoughts.
Paige gasps behind me. I turn, not wiping my face or caring that my eyes are puffy. Amber is behind her, transfixed on me like she’s witnessing the second coming of Jesus. Paige and I stare at each other, both of us silently crying.
Amber’s face scrunches and she gets emotional, too. “Will you two stop it?” she chokes. “Stop crying. What the fuck are we doing?”
With a cautious step, Paige moves closer and places her palm flat on my chest. She wipes moisture off my cheek. Her eyes are filled with apologies.
I’m sorry for leaving.
I’m sorry for what I said.
I’m sorry I made you worry.
She wraps her arms around my neck and winces.
“Don’t hug me if it hurts,” I whisper, but her touch feels like home.
She shakes her head and presses tighter against me, making little pained whimpers. I want to hug her back, but I don’t know where she’s injured. I won’t hurt her. Instead, I press my cheek against hers and caress her temple with mine.
Behind us, Amber says under her breath, “This is so weird. Gross. Please don’t kiss. I think I’ll die.”
When Paige pulls away, I kiss her cheek, suppressing a smile when Amber gags. I slip from the bathroom so Amber can help with the bandage. Paige and I can talk later. First, she needs to get settled and address her injuries. The more I think about how she got hurt, the more I want to punch something. Someone.
I head to the porch for fresh air because now I have a headache from crying like a damn child in the bathroom. I lean down to grab the biggest chunk of Paige’s broken phone. She must’ve brought it with her and then broken it when she arrived. Maybe she brought it by mistake? If she got here before breaking it, though, it was probably long enough to be tracked.
I’ve never had to locate a lost phone, but I don’t think it shows the exact location. More like a general area. But since her asshole stepdad was looking for her before at the thrift store, my gut tells me he’ll be looking for her again.
Good. I fucking hope he comes here. My fists have been itching to meet him.
Just so I don’t miss this opportunity, I go inside to find Bamsy. He’s sitting on the couch while Amber and Paige are still in the bathroom. I pick up Paige’s plushie friend and set him on the porch so he’s easy to spot from the road.
I grin. Can’t wait.
Paige
“YOU SURE YOU WON’T SLEEP in my room?” Brody says as we stand together in the hallway. “I can sleep on the floor, but I’ll feel better if we’re in the same room.”
I shake my head. I need space tonight. Space and a good night’s sleep in my room by myself. My body needs quiet and darkness to reset. Today and the past few days have been the most exhausting of my life.
Amber set up the phone she had bought me again, so I have the voice I like, but I’m too worn out to touch words on the screen. There’s so much I want to tell Brody. I want to discuss relationships. Our relationship. And apologize for what I said. Apologize for pushing him away. Talk about what I’ve experienced and how I’ve grown. I need to tell him I want to stay. That I’m strong enough now to stay and face any challenges and call lawyers—to sort out the mess I’m in. I’m worried about my mom, but Amber’s right. I deserve my own life.
