Page 104 of Perfectly Accidental


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“There was an incident with a little too much chocolate milk and the trampoline in PE,” a woman said. I recognised her from my years at Waketon Primary but couldn’t remember anything about her.

I felt my eyebrows rise, partly in surprise and partly impressed. “You chucked in PE?”

“All over Sally Albright,” Maddy said with a nod.

Poor Sally Albright.

Although, fuck Sally Albright. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I was sure she had her own people to worry about her. I was worried about the little thing in front of me.

Poor Maddy looked pale, and her hair was tied back, and I was pretty sure that wasn’t her jumper as it was something like three sizes too big, rather than one size too big. No doubt she had a vomit-stained jumper in her bag somewhere that I really should deal with before Mum got home.

“All right, then,” I said. “Let’s get you home.”

“Don’t you have to get back to school?” the woman asked me.

“Yeah, Uncie Roman,” Maddy agreed. Maybe she had a future as a truant officer.

“And leave a five-year-old home alone?” I shook my head. “Don’t think so.”

How was it possible for someone to look both shockingly disapproving and thoroughly impressed? I didn’t know, but hers wasn’t the first face I’d seen it on, and I doubted it would be the last.

Maddy and I got her in her car seat and headed home.

“Can we get ice cream?” she asked.

“Ice cream? After you’ve just chundered everywhere.”

“But we don’t have a trampoline at home.”

It was a fair point. Still…

“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “Let’s get your clothes in the machine for Grandma, then we’ll see what treasures the freezer holds.”

“Okay,” she said happily.

With the offending jumper and pants on the drying rack, and ice cream in our tummies, it was after three.

“Up for a road trip?” I asked her.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“I told Piper I’d pick her up from school.”

Maddy was still looking a little peaky, but she smiled. “Okay!”

By the time we got to school, Maddy was asleep, and I had no interest in waking her up. I pulled into my usual spot and waited for Piper.

She opened the door and said, “You know we should probably…”

I put my finger to my lips and kicked my head towards the back seat in my best indication for not waking the child.

“You didn’t have to come back for me,” she whispered harshly.

I shrugged. “She’s asleep anyway.”

Her expression told me that wasn’t the point, but I didn’t care. I was too busy watching her climb awkwardly into the car. She still had to haul herself in, using every inbuilt assistance she could.

“You’re not getting any better at that you know,” I observed.

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