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Eighteen
Mannerly-hearted! more than handsome face—
Beauty’s bearing or muse of mounting vein,
All, in this case, bathed in high hallowing grace…
—Gerard Manley Hopkins,
from “The Handsome Heart”
He was too close. A few weeks ago Sabina had enjoyed the frisson of sensation his proximity caused, but now his presence made her feel trapped. The memory of attraction was stifling instead of sizzling, the sight of his smile colored by the truth of his betrayal. Something still jumped to life in the pit of her stomach when he ran a thumb over the nape of her neck, but wariness now overcame it.
His voice thrummed across her nerves. “I had to see you again. To talk to you. So Mary—”
“Mary set this up?” Fury gave her limbs the impetus to move, and she jerked to her feet.
Roman jumped up to block her from taking off in the direction of her so-called friend’s apartment. As he held out his arms to fence her in, his green eyes flashed and his lips curved up into the same charming smile that had fooled her before. “Don’t be mad at her, Bina. She just wants you to be happy, and she knows good ol’ Enzo can’t do it.”
“No, what she knows is that she wouldn’t be happy with him. She doesn’t get to speak for me, especially when she hasn’t listened to a word I’ve said in weeks.”
His hands landed on her upper arms. She jumped at the touch, which made his smile grow. “Man, I’ve missed you. Seeing that fire in your eyes. The way you respond to me. I love you, Sabina. So much. I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t think of anything but you.”
“Ha.” She attempted to shrug away from his touch, but he wouldn’t be shaken. Trying anything more forceful would mean more contact—which she had the common sense to avoid. “You’ve obviously had no problem filling your time, trying to pin a murder on my father.”
His face didn’t change, didn’t shift, didn’t give anything away. But his hands tensed slightly on her arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Murder isn’t even my jurisdiction, baby. I’m a federal cop, and it’s a state crime.”
She lifted her brow much as Mama always did whenever she caught one of them in a lie. “That’s not what Ava told Papa while I was standing in the hall unobserved.”
His curse told her that her supposition about the identity of the investigator was correct. He dropped his hands, raked one through his hair, but then grabbed hers before she could make a dash for it. “Okay. I’ve been looking into some things for the local boys. But I’ll stop, I’ll even lie to them about what I’ve found if you’ll just give me another chance.”
“Are you trying to blackmail me?”
“What?” His genuine shock might have been amusing had the situation not been so serious. “No! Come on, Bina, that’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Do I? I don’t know how low you’d stoop, Roman. I don’t know you at all.” She tugged at her hands, but he gripped them all the tighter.
“That’s not true.” He sidled closer, and she had no room to retreat. “I may not have told you my last name, my job, but everything else was real. All the stories, all the memories I shared. That’s me, Bina. You know me.” He raised her hands to his mouth and kissed each of them. “You love me.”
The trembling returned, born from anxiety mixed with anger. “Maybe I did, before. Or maybe I was just caught up in attraction, because it certainly didn’t last once I learned the truth. It doesn’t matter, because I don’t love you now.”
“Okay.” Danger glinted in his eyes, proving the agreement was anything but surrender. “So let’s talk about that attraction. About how I made you feel then, and how I still make you feel now. I can see it in your eyes, baby, the heat, the passion. It’s there.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and wondered if God would accept the frantic beating of her heart as a prayer. It was the best cry for help she could make. “Not for you.”
“No?” One of his hands released hers and cupped her cheek a second later. “But it’s already mine, remember? I lit it, I stoked it. You were afraid of it, afraid to give in. Isn’t that what you said that night outside the speakeasy? Afraid I’d take what I wanted and walk away. That’s when I promised I’d marry you, that we’d run away together. A promise I intend to keep. You’re already mine, Sabina. I claimed you that night.”
The weight of her sin, of her promises, pressed her down until she felt like she must be in the bowels of the earth. She should have trusted her fear that night and held fast to the principles that had meant so little in the heat of the moment. She should have pushed his hands away and fought back her desire. She should have drawn the line long before she did. But she hadn’t.
She opened her eyes and look directly into his, the green depths issuing an invitation that still tried to tug her away from what she knew was right. “I think that must be the exact look that was in the serpent’s eyes as he held out the apple to Eve.”
Roman chuckled. “Eve bit.”
“And lost everything.” She shook her head and raised her arm to keep him from putting back the hand she’d shaken loose from her face. “I’m not going to bite. Not this time.”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “But you’ve already tasted the apple, Sabina. You’ve already got the knowledge it brings, and now you’re just hiding behind fig leaves and pretending it didn’t happen.” He leaned down, but to the side, so that he could whisper in her ear. “Eve couldn’t fool God. Do you think you can fool Enzo? Convince him you love him when we all know you don’t? Pretend you feel passion where you’re cold? For that matter, would he even want you if he knew the truth about us? You might not have come home with me that night, but we both know he’s as bluenosed as they come. He may have forgiven the kisses, but what about the rest?”
Tears rushed her eyes, but she blinked them back. “This is how you convince me you love me? By reminding me of all I’ve done wrong?”
